2009 Dead Pool Results

2009 Dead Pool Results

At the end of 2008 I made a dead pool list of people who I thought would be.. um.. dead by the end of the year. It's a simple game, really. You pick ten people who you believe will not make it to next year and then you wait. If those people die then you simply subtract their age at death by 100 and that's how many points you get for them. It's really a morbid game when you think about it. But then again, the way that the media treats our Celebrity deaths, it's really the only way I know how to deal with it.

When you look past the sick rules and way you play this game, you can see that there's an incentive for not picking the very elderly. Th younger the person, the more points you're going to get for their shocking demise. When as picking people who are old and already have one foot in the grave will be will be good for a couple of points, but you're not going to get much for them. It's really a game of numbers.

Here's my list from last year;

Hugh Hefner
Roger Ebert,
BB King,
George Steinbrenner,
Amy Winehouse,
Mindy Mcredy,
Patrick Sawyze,
Ted Kennedy,
Larry king,
Barack Obama.

I went with the easy ones, as you can see by my point total;

Patrick Sawyze was 57 worth 43 points
Ted Kennedy was 77 and worth 23 points
My grand total for the year was 66 points.

To be perfectly honest, that's a lot better than how I did the year before. I suppose at this time we should take a look at those who have past. Most recently we have Brittany Murphy... who I have to admit I had a huge crush on her. Even more than so in Clueless than Alica Silverstone. I mean, she was the "nerd" of that group and let me tell you, nerds are hot. Then again, this all sounds like it's an illegal activity.. which necrophilia is in the state of California.



But seriously - Andy Dick, Amy Winehouse, and Abe Vigoda are still alive and yet Murphy is dead? Now that is a tragedy. I don't give a fuck about Michael Jackson. Let's talk about Murphy some more. Ever see the movie Ramen Girl? No? You should.

It really is an ironic masterpiece of film. The film premise is A white girl with no discernable skills or training whatsoever becomes a master of ramen maker. Ramen girl owns, it's like the next karate kid except about ramen and even more fucking orientalist.



Ok, not really. But still, you need to respect someone who took their career choice and moved it into that direction. That's a whole lot better than Michael Jackson. Fuck that douche. I'm not even going to give it much attention here because it's already received 4 million in media promotion. Most of all, I'm bitter that I had to work on that mess.

Most of all I'm still bitter that he wasn't on my dead pool list. That's almost 50 points I could have received for my dead pool list. That pissed me off to no end. Fuck you Michael Jackson. This just means I'm going to have to kick it up this year to another level and pick names that will actually have more kick to their step.So.. do you want in?



So here's your chance to get in on the TWENTY-TEN Celeb dead pool. Just post a comment or e-mail me your dead pool picks.. only limiting them to ten names per person or we get into some crazy math and keeping up those names is too much work. This should come in no later than January 5th or if a celebrity who is high profile enough dies before then, it doesn't count.

The people you choose have to be famous for more than just their death. So if someone is going to die soon and is in the news, they may not be allowed on the list if they don't have any claim to fame for any other reason. The winner will get $50 bucks and a special prize.

So go ahead and comment or put in your list of ten people and you're in. Besides, it'll be an easy way to do something truly evil and predict people's deaths. Boooyah.

The Set-Up Man Moves On... Good Bye Ed McMahon

The Set-Up Man Moves On... Good Bye Ed McMahon

This morning Ed McMahon passed away at age 86. While he passed away around family at Ronald Reagan Hospital, it's still very sad that his last year or so was such hell for him and his family. Breaking his neck in a fall and going bankrupt, it wasn't a great year for him. So let's take a few moments to look back at Television history.



I guess the real trick now is that you see him at your door with a check for $10 million, just assume it's a ruse or that he's death trying to get in your door. In fact, his later years were filled with side gigs. The New York Lotto has been running these ads for a while now



Scary that there's two dead people in that ad now. But a bucks a buck, right? Even if it's trying to push shit like Cash4Gold:



That was one of those last minute rushes to save his ass from total financial meltdown. Hell, for a while there he was about to be bailed out by Donald Trump. Is there any less dignified way to go? Well, I'm sure you can ask David Carradine about that... Now that's not a way to go out. Choked to death while getting off tied up and stuff. Compared to Carradine, Ed went out like a man.

I do wonder if they'll bury in a hermetically sealed jar on Funk and Wagnall's front porch. But that's a joke that goes back to the old tonight show days. You youngin's may not get it.



But speaking of ways to get taken out.. I suppose dying bankrupt was a good thing. Hell, I'd rather die broke as all hell after making massively big bucks. That means he had it all and he blew it all on things that made him happy. Fuck the family fighting over my millions, I want to use it all before I go out! He took it all with him. Now that's dying his own way!

But I have to say Bye-ooooh to you, Ed. You're saying Hey-ooooooH to the angels right about now. Don't worry folks, there's gold toilets and night shows galore where he's going off to.... and no creditors, no creditors at all...

2009 Dead Pool List

2009 Dead Pool List

I know it's morbid. Very very morbid. But I love doing this every year. Some people have the Superbowl, others have the slots in Vegas. My poison is to figure out who's going to bite the big one and push some daisies up in 2009. You know, if they make it in time they can secure their spot on the Oscars telecast.

There's Chinese parlor houses using emerald tokens right now putting their organs on the line for.. well, I suppose it's money that they're gambling on. I mean, who would gamble for anything different? We're not in Japan and this ain't no pachinko machine around.

So how does the game work? You come up with ten celebrities who you think have a higher risk of dying over the course of 2009. Then we apply a 100 point system. You take the age of the corpse and subtract 100 from it. At the end of the year you add up how many points you have from your stiffs and declare the winner. ... Well, it's a hallow victory unless you really dislike the person.

So here's my Celebrity picks on who will bite it in 2009.

Hugh Hefner - He dropped his other girlfriends for twins. They'll give him a heart attack and I'll get some points out of it.

Roger Ebert - Writes the best movie reviews but has lost the ability to talk and isn't in the best health.

BB King - Diabetes and he's not looking like he's in great health. One of those bittersweet picks. When he dies he'll take some great music with him.

George Steinbrenner - Fuck the Yankees. He didn't show up for the last game at Yankee Stadium and stepped down from his position leaving his two sons to control the franchise. That's saying something right there. This dude's entering the bottom of the 9th.

Amy Winehouse - They told me she was going to live through 2009 and I said NO NO NO! Is there any reason that I need to give that isn't clear enough already?



Mindy Mcready - Crrraaaaaaazzzzzzzzy.

Patrick Sawyze - His dirty dancing ways are soon to come to an end. A case of cancer really means that I'll be surprised if he last six months into this year.

Ted Kennedy - How has this man escaped death and John and Bobby didn't, I'll never get. But death is seriously at his door already.

Larry King - We lose Tim Russert before we lose Larry King? There's no God. But I'm sure 2009 will balance it all out.

Barack Obama - It pains me to put him on the list. America got it right and elected the lesser evil. But we all know that this is a grim reality that we need to face. Someone will try to take a shot at Obama. Our country is too divided and there's way too many crazy red necks out there. I saw a lot of that living in the south for a short time I did. I'm hoping that this one is another dud. But being the morally corrupt soul that I am, I can't help but put him on my dead pool list.

So there you have it. , that's my list. I encourage you to email me with your list and I'll add you on. Winner will get some strange prizes I'll accumulate over the year. Not to mention the satisfaction that you called it. You morbid sick freaks!