Friday, April 15, 2011

April 15th Just Got Worse

April 15th Just Got Worse

Today is the day that you would normally pay your taxes. Well, not this year. Though it doesn't mean that it's the only thing awful that happens today. Something else shitty happens... Atlas Shrugged also comes out today.

That shit took some effort to sit through without having to shoot my brains out. I love how it lost all of their A-list talent along the way of its production. Presumably Part 2 will be that long droning speech that comprises the entire second half of the book. It'll be exactly like the first part of the last Harry Potter film.

You know, at one point Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were supposed to star in this. Now it looks like something you'd probably see on SyFy. Well, that is if they loosen up their standards for what they consider horror. Though Atlas Shrugged should always be considered a scary thing.

But really, this thing has gone through production hell. They fired and replaced the director 9 days before shooting started. The no name director also cast himself as John Galt. Ha! Now that's comedy.

All the actors are people who've played, at most, secondary roles in insignificant TV series before and the screenplay writer has never done anything before according to IMDB. Then again, I choose not to be part of IMDB, so maybe the director is like me and is completely embarrassed by the work he has done in this industry.

Did anyone not mention to the makers that watching a movie about running a railroad company is inherently boring? Did they not stop and think for a second that setting the movie in the 21st century makes their characters look like complete idiots in pinning all of their hopes and dreams on the financial success of a transcontinental passenger train line.

The transcontinental line is already complete 2 or 3 generations before the story begins. The new line is just a spur. Yeah, I get that railroads admittedly are not as interesting politically as they used to be and they're not completely irrelevant to the economy. And I could understand if this was a vital freight line or something.

But a passenger line? Really? REALLY?

I guess it would be pretty ironic if, after watching this film, all the dumb right wing shits suddenly take an interest in rail transport and leads to an expansion and modernization of Amtrak.

That wont actually happen, but man it would be pretty ironic if it did. Especially since if it was government owned, it would technically be considered a socialist train.

It's funny and sad that they scheduled it for April 15th because it's tax day. Only they didn't know that the IRS changed tax day to April 18th this year. HA! Talk about throwing a wrench on their train track.

But seriously, this trailer used just about every Hollywood trailer cliche in the book, but they just can't succeed in making 'Running a railroad company' any more interesting a subject no matter how hard they try. Ah yes, trains. Steel mills, heavy industry... the movie is truly set in 21st century America.
“There are two novels that can transform a bookish 14-year-kld’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.

One is a childish daydream that can lead to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood in which large chunks of the day are spent inventing ways to make real life more like a fantasy novel.

The other is a book about orcs.”

– “The Value of Nothing” by Raj Patel
It really makes you wonder what the fuck this story is even about. The only thing I could remotely compare it to is, do you remember in the movie 2012 where all the rich people built their own super yacht to live on after the world ended?

This movie is kind of like that...

This ends up being a cast of video game voice actors and TV extras picked up a few hours before filming started and a crew paid 25% of their normal wages working with a script written by a guy that's done nothing and a fitness equipment CEO, all directed by a guy who's done a few episodes of some random sitcom.

Why yes.. I can see this movie going places.

What's even funnier is that one of the actors was in the Che biopic. I have to wonder if that got awkward around the set.

I guess I just can't stress this enough. Atlas Shrugged is a really really bad book. Not just because of the characters, or the writing style, or even the monologue, or the cracked up philosophy espoused. But because the entire plot is based on the existence of technology from the 1960's fantastic four comics.

Every, and I mean EVERY major plot point of Atlas Shrugged involves one of the following:
- adamantium
- a sonic weapon capable of destroying a 100-mile radius
- illusion-force fields
- a free energy machine
- a signal jacker that can control all radios on the planet

And I guess I'm leaving you with the final question to this piece. Who exactly is John Galt? I mean, I shouldn't leave you hanging here... but I am..

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