Saturday, April 16, 2011

Don't Tase Me, Brah

Don't Taser Grenade Me, Bro

Yes, that's right.. a grenade that is a taser. What will they come up with next? I can only have nightmares about...

Just look at that thing. It's not even a grenade. It's more of a big non-grenade projectile. Whats even worse is they didn't even shot it at him. What the flying fuck? What a fucking cop out.

He's not man enough to take a hit from a Taser Grenade, but I'm sure there is some bed ridden 90 year old woman or some peaceful protester just asking to get one right between the eyes.

You have to laugh about the fact that he yells "Taser taser taser" before pressing the button. Really? That much warning for a less than lethal weapon? On the more obvious side, I guess it makes sense that the Taser HQ is in Arizona.

It also makes sense to storm the Taser headquarters and burn alive everyone inside. "Oh, this is just terrible. Why would anyone want to murder my wife or husband who is one of the chief architects of the Taser Grenade?!?!"

I could picture the news article now. When they found the body in the sub basement of Taser international headquarters, he had been repeatedly shocked to death by his own taster. Who would do such a thing? The guy got into the taser design business to help people...

I wouldn't be surprised one bit. It's not even like the other tasers are even remotely better. Wouldn't that wall of tasers still hit people who are on the ground? Hee, who cares about them. Shouldn't have done the crime if you can't do the time, right?

This all also screams of free fucking product placement. We are here today to intimidate the populace and show off this new toy which your police department can get its hands on by dialing this toll free number!

When you think about it, this is so much cheaper than having to make your own ads. Thanks capitalism! Your fair and balanced news source really came through in the long run on this one!

Call within the next ten minutes and we'll throw in a free month long trail of the new less-than-lethal 'Death Blossom; Civilian management system. We got Taser Swords! Taser Spears! Taser Grenades! Moving targets giving you trouble? Let's see them run from the patent pending Taser Sniper Rifle! We got Taster Monster trucks and Taser Fishing rods. We got little 100 volt Tasers for the childre! TASER TASTER TASTER!

Be sure to ask your operator about the literal pain ray that is a thing that actually exist and is approved for us against civilians.. Yes, that's right. A literal pain ray.

Wait, you didn't know about the Active Denial System? Really? Oh, do I have some surprises for you. Take a look at this description of what it does.
"For the first millisecond, it just felt like the skin was warming up. Then it got warmer and warmer and you felt like it was on fire.... As soon as you're away from that beam your skin returns to normal and there is no pain."
So what's in the box? Pain.. and lots of it. Just look at this pain ray demonstration video done by marines...

I mean, do I have to point out the obvious in that video where they practice using it by having a group of soldiers pretend to be peaceful protesters? I mean.. that has to make you laugh. Alright boys, the opposing force is on its way. Aim for the world peace sign!

It sure looks like the masses are trying to revolt.. we better fire up the ADS! I can only imagine that in about a year or two we'll be seeing men strapped to chairs with pain rays igniting every nerve on their skin with red hot pain for hours at a time with the supreme court ruling that it's all good as long as it doesn't leave any visible marks.

Sure, it may take another 3 years before the visible tumors start popping up, but by then the court ruling would have already gone through four or five denied appeals. Or hell, maybe ADS causes instant cancer. It is working off the same shit your microwave does.

When it comes down to it, I'd rather get my ass beat with a fucking club than get shot with a ray that makes you feel like you're on fire. How do you even fight back against that?

The answer is you don't.

Tasers, on the other hand, are marketed as "non-lethal solutions to firearms", the original intent being that instead of using a gun you'd use this to minimize shootouts and stuff. However pigs interpret this as "use when you're in a bad mood and using a gun would get you fired/sent to jail" and tasering people for the most random shit. Also, it's sold as "non lethal" when there are many documented cases of it killing people and not being not-so-not-lethal.

Also, it's a good excuse for shooting a handcuffed man in the back "Whoops! I thought that it was my taser, My bad, dude!"

What else are you going to do? Pepper spray the fucker? Much like in the situation when a kid gets out of fucking line at school...
LAKEWOOD, Colo. (WXYZ) - A second grader was so disruptive in class one day police say they were forced to use pepper spray on him.

Police in Lakewood, Colorado say 8-year-old Aidan Elliot threw a violent temper tantrum in his classroom.

Officers say he ripped wood trim off the walls and threatened teachers and students with a sharp piece of wood held like a knife.

Police were called to the school, where they told him to stop, but they say he wouldn't.

Aidan's mother admits her son has a history of behavioral problems.

She says the school called police three times on him but adds this time police used excessive force.

She plans on filing a complaint.

Ha! Good luck with that complaint! Obviously your 60lb son is an absolute angel dust fused menace to society that has to be stopped before he harms police officers or others. Let's see this roid raged child:

Yup.. though, haven't they tasered 2nd graders before? Or maybe I just lost track of how much insane amount of force has been used towards those who clearly show no threat? Most of all, what kind of limp-wristed coward needs pepper spray to put down an 8 year old? Grow some balls, officer.

You should check out the video where he tells the police "I'm gonna kill you motherfuckers" when they show up. I mean, if I was that officer I would be laughing.. at least a little bit. For me second grade kind of sucked. So some part of me wishes I had the balls to do this at that age.

So what did Fox News have to say about this? Oh, that's always fun to find out...
What does Fox News host Gretchen Carlson think of police potentially using pepper spray against a young child?

“In my book, that’s called discipline,” she said during Tuesday’s broadcast of “Fox and Friends.”
Which leads us perfectly to the final frontier.. well, not really the final one, I'm sure we can get lower. But in the latest wave of Tru TV truly awful shows, I bring you the latest that just glorify this bullshit. I present POLICE POV

I just have to stop and think that this is what video games were suppose to desensitize me to. Because really, it's like Call of Duty.. only you're in the POV of the cop and the flag you're trying to catch is some black man.

I mean, seriously... seriously? How can anyone with a straight face look at this and not think it's some sort of parody alternate future where shit is just upside down. Especially when you hear cops saying shit like


I mean, seriously? That's what you're trying to present as the just hand of the law?
New Technology Puts Viewers in the Middle of the Action
In truTV’s Exciting New Series POLICE POV, Premiering Sunday, April 17

truTV is taking the next bold step in first-person action with POLICE POV, a stunning new series that will allow viewers to experience the intensity of using excessive force through the officers’ own point of view.

Incorporating one of the most innovative camera technologies ever used by law enforcement, POLICE POV will provide viewers with thrilling, up-close access to all the drama, suspense and action of shooting unarmed African-Americans, destroying lower-class families, and tazing peaceful protesters that police officers across the nation get to revel in daily. The series is slated to premiere on truTV Sunday, April 17, at 10 p.m. (ET/PT).


Well played officer, you sure got that guy when he wasn't expecting it. I can't wait till we de-evolve to the state were we just watch live murder on television without even flinching. Logan's run used to seem like some sort of future that would never even possibly happen. How I'm proven wrong.

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