Sunday, April 17, 2011

Cause I'm The Late Taxman

Cause I'm The Late Taxman

Oh shit, it's the 17th, did you forget to do your taxes on the 15th?! Well, worry no more, my friend. For you didn't have to turn in your tax return by the 15th anyway. At least not this year.

You see, because it fell on a Friday, the I.R.S. decided that they wanted that mother fucking weapon off and just bumped the tax deadline to the 18th. Though I also believe it has something to do with Atlas Shrugged coming out on the 15th and they just wanted to fuck with them on that regard.

WASHINGTON — The Internal Revenue Service today opened the 2011 tax filing season by announcing that taxpayers have until April 18 to file their tax returns. The IRS reminded taxpayers impacted by recent tax law changes that using e-file is the best way to ensure accurate tax returns and get faster refunds.

Taxpayers will have until Monday, April 18 to file their 2010 tax returns and pay any tax due because Emancipation Day, a holiday observed in the District of Columbia, falls this year on Friday, April 15. By law, District of Columbia holidays impact tax deadlines in the same way that federal holidays do; therefore, all taxpayers will have three extra days to file this year. Taxpayers requesting an extension will have until Oct. 17 to file their 2010 tax returns.

The IRS expects to receive more than 140 million individual tax returns this year, with most of those being filed by the April 18 deadline
so if you're like me and very very lazy. Oh wait, that's not me. I already did my taxes. What I meant to say was if you're like my father. God damn, that guy would ALWAYS rush on the 14th to do an extension.

Though I guess it's not really that great to be in a rush to get payment to the government when you're dealing with so many kids. In any event, do you know how important it is to pay your taxes? Let this Disney cartoon tell you why!

So even if it's cool that we can find more and more ways of extracting money from poor people paying taxes does go to social programs that effect.... okay, well they don't really effect you for shit. In fact half of your taxes goes to supporting the Military Industrial Complex.

Obama was so kind in showing us all how much of your money goes to bombing brown people with your tax receipt.

I mean, it's pretty sad that 59% of our budget goes to violence, aggression and military oppression. I guess there's no easy way to get around it. Some people just write passive aggressive notes on their taxes.

I guess I envy you folks who don't have a job and thus don't have to pay taxes.. you know, cause of unemployment and what not. Well, unless plasma donation profits have somehow become taxable lately. I'm sure that some of you are selling your blood to the vampires of capital as your only means of a job that you can support yourself with in this shitty economy.

But hey, remember to max out those IRA deductions!

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