Friday, July 8, 2011

Whole Foods, Not Whole People

Whole Foods, Not Whole People

Take a look at this in company memo for Whole Foods employees...

Would you look at that, the company now has a 'NO FATTIES' approach. No wait, it's not that. The goals of this voluntary program.... are to reduce the costs of their health plan. Yeah, that's right.

Why yes, we'll be monitoring your BMI and cholesterol with attached financial incentives. What do BMI and cholesterol mean? Absolutely nothing. Enjoy your productive work-day at Whole Foods!
Recent scientific and medical evidence shows that a diet consisting of foods that are plant-based, nutrient dense and low-fat will help prevent and often reverse most degenerative diseases that kill us and are expensive to treat. We should be able to live largely disease-free lives until we are well into our 90s and even past 100 years of age.
- whole foods ceo john mackey
This doesn't even touch on the subject that employee discounts at Whole Foods come from a budget that's tied to a percentage of store sales. Surpluses in that budget go to gainsharing at the end of the year.

So it's not even an added benefit that the company has to pay for. It's a scheme that uses employee bonus money to "reward" team members for giving away shitty health metricks to unitedhealthcare.

I do have to wonder if 110/70 is slightly low. I was under the assumption that 120/80 was ideal. No wait, I guess it's a highly desirable blood pressure from a Team Member Healthy Discount Incentive Program perspective.

Either way, all that hard work for a 10% increase in employee discounts? Pfft. seems pretty silly. I mean, maybe you should do the opposite if you want to encourage people to get healthy. Have you've seen the prices of fruit and veggies and other shit at Whole Foods? The stuff is expensive.

Give the fatties a bigger discount and then I'm sure they'll be pleased to buy the healthy options that Whole Foods provides. Though, this is under the assumption that Whole Foods would ever employ anyone fat anyway.. The duke says you must be at least this hot to stock organic produce.

I'm surprised Whole Foods' hiring process doesn't screen out morbidly obese people from the beginning. It is standard corporate hiring practice to screen out smokers. Yeah, don't try to hide it, people can tell when you're a smoker - You smell! The morbidly obese, and anyone who appears sickly in general.

When you think about Whole Foods, maybe you would think that their hiring policies would be along the lines of weeding out people who is asking for too much money and hiring people who they could see themselves smoking a bowl with. Because really, the no drug testing policy is the one Old Whole Foods policy that corporate dare not touch or else a lot of people would be shit canned.

The double plat status is pretty crazy. You have to push your BMI to below 16? Good fucking luck team members! At the bottom right it should have said "Stay Toned" just to add humor to an otherwise stern warning that Whole Foods will not tolerate fatties.. as well as Unions. Can't have any of those shits around.

Why hey, Whole Foods is now shooting to penalize fats. Whole Foods CEO John Mackey is a Ron Paul fan who voted for Bob Barr in the last election. Ha!

It's sad that Health care is a service that we all need, but just like food and shelter it is best provided through voluntary and mutually beneficial market exchanges. A careful reading of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution will not reveal any intrinsic' right to health care, food or shelter. That's because there isn't any. This "right" has never existed in America when it otherwise should.

Even worse is that the Healthcare "reform" legislation allows and actually encourages companies to start these types of programs. But hey, just look at this AP

It's an odd chart. You would think that there would be less worker's comp claims for the fatties, they bounce when they fall.

But it comes as no surprise that the underweight BMI's have the least claims of all but still miss a lot more work than people in the normal weight range. It's not that they're the cool kids or anything playing hooky. It's basically a situation where they're constantly getting minor sicknesses all in their fey bodies.

Being anorexic is basically being sick pretty much all of the time. But this does lead to a good idea, this is the perfect way to smash capitalism - By becoming morbidly obese. And if that is impractical, perhaps you can smash capitalism by being Twiggy.

You have to wonder if this is per year, because who the fuck misses 14 or more days of work in a year and how do they keep from getting fired? I've seriously only missed one day of work in the last 4 years of work and it was because of some seriously court shit.

But since nobody can take 193 days of sick leave without getting shit canned, I'm guessing the "lost work days" means "work days lost due to workers compensation claim". Over all, this chart and the article is basically the AP giving a pretty solid piece of advice to employers.
"don't hire fat people" - AP


Thoughts said...

You must be fat. Also, there are other words in the English language other than "Fuck". Harass the company through other euphemistic means. Your post is genuine and brings up valid points. But the tone of your blog seemed a bit melodramatic. Best of luck wherever you are in life.

Unknown said...

Whole foods in Jacksonville is all about fat people working in their store. They got tall, fat, awkward, geeky as well as dready, tatted, punk rocker types

Unknown said...

Whole foods in Jacksonville is all about fat people working in their store. They got tall, fat, awkward, geeky as well as dready, tatted, punk rocker types