Thursday, September 1, 2011

Kevin Smith - An American Filmmaker

Kevin Smith - An American Filmmaker

Kevin Smith is an American film maker who, if you are 14 years of age, know his work very well. He is currently working through the final films he wishes to make before retiring from cranking out films tailor made for 14 year old's. One of his last films is RED STATE. Here's a trailer for it:

If you weren't able to tell from that wicked awesome trailer, here's the plot of the film:
Three teenagers come across an online personal advertisement from an older woman looking for kinky group sex. But what begins as a fantasy takes a dark turn as they come face-to-face with a terrifying fundamentalist force with a fatal agenda.[9] The violent church led by a violent preacher, Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), kidnaps the boys and holds a long-winded and hateful sermon in front of them for his cult members where other kidnapped innocent victims are executed.
Hmm, doesn't this sound like that Rob Zombie film? But hey, you saw it on the screen. This has the seal of approval by Quintin Tarantino saying "I LOVE THIS FUCKING MOVIE" and boy, you will too!

I bet you're wondering why I gotta hate on this? I mean. Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob strike back were all good films. Hell, clerks 2 was the definitive film of the 2000's speaking to a generation that it was made for who are currently in dead end jobs

Even if it did have that scene where Rosario Dawson claimed that it's sometimes okay to go ass to mouth. And while there is other better movies along the same lines of narrative out there, it was fun to get high and laugh at these sort of films when I was a teenager. So what's the problem with this film then?
The ironic aspect is that what has in the past been considered Smith's strongest element, his writing, is the weakest part of Red State. The film alternates between being heavy handed and moronic, and it seems to be informed by a 15 year olds' understanding of Waco filtered through the paranoid ramblings of a stoner.

This is an extraordinarily stupid film, a movie that probably sounds profound while baked but is actually a little more than nihilistic posturing. That's probably the most offensive thing about Red State, that it's a film that tackles serious and important issues from the level of a junior high school creative writing assignment.
And I guess that's the biggest problem I have. I grew up. The quality is completely consistent from film to film with Kevin Smith. For those that haven't refused to grow up it appears that his films have gotten progressively worse in reality it is Kevin Smith that has been standing still at the ripe mentality age of 19 this whole time.

It's like every day is 1994 to Kevin Smith. Though I would be stupid to think that he was going to do any better with a film about politics than he did with religion and sexuality. And man is Smith a pro at this sexuality stuff....

Clit/Brown/Taint-area.....Seriously? You know, I'm pretty sure a lot of the prudishness in people comes not from being uncomfortable with sex but from a deathly fear of ever sounding like this guy.

Oh yeah baby, you pwn my clit/brown/taint-area soooooo goood! You may as well kill me if I ever sound as creepy as that. Then again, this is the man who decided to put this in a film where with the team name jokingly being C.L.I.T

I also don't understand one major thing about Kevin Smith. What's with the pants? Is he trying to be a denim samurai or something?

I shouldn't be one to judge someone's fashion sense but are those bespoke jorts? Where does someone even find a pair cut like that? Or are they normal shorts meant for someone like Robert Wadlow? How does one even go through the mindset for all this?
Oh boy, after I made my first million, I knew the first thing I wanted to do. You always have these dreams, in the back of your mind, you know, but you never think, "that's going to happen to me" But here I am
*backs up tractor trailer into Long Jort Warehouse*
Or maybe he's just really self conscious about being really fat and huge Jorts are his way of covering it up. Maybe I shouldn't be making fun so much. Though seriously, why Jorts? I mean, I can get that you would want a sturdy yet soft and pliable material that goes with any top and you want to let your ankles and maybe lower calves catch a little breeze. I mean, look at his rather thin ankles. Obviously he's just showing them off.

Though, if the Jean short comes below the knees does it ceases to be Jorts and is instead Japris? Jeanpris? Jeapris? Or maybe it's Capreans? One thing is for sure, is there any occasion that this man won't wear Jorts to?

Man, I'm just going to get a huge sheet of denim, like a blanket size piece, and just wrap it around me and if I have to be dignified for a job interview or going to the Oscars, maybe I'll tie it closed with a piece of yarn.

The kicker on all this is that Kevin Smith's final film will be a two parter based on the life of a fictitious hockey player. The first part of the film will be his youth and the second part will be his rise to fame and pro life. Man, that's going to be one tough sell. I don't think I know anyone who gives too much of a shit about hockey, let alone would want to see two films on the subject.

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