Thursday, November 29, 2012

Bacon Shortage

Bacon Shortage

Damn you! You finally did it. You blew it all up! Houston, we have a problem. It seems that with the massive influx of people putting bacon on just about every goddamn thing they could think of, that in the coming year we're going to be faced with something truly horrifying....

A bacon shortage!
Because this year’s drought wreaked havoc on the world’s corn crops, the price of corn has risen substantially. And because corn is used, among many, many other things, as feed for pigs, it is more expensive for farmers to raise pigs. Farmers pass along those costs to stores, and perhaps even decide that they don’t want to be in the pork business anymore. 
The European Union reports that pig herds around the world are “declining at a significant rate.” And this could lead to a serious pork (and most crucially, bacon!) shortage — a problem that Britain’s National Pig Association chairman, Richard Longthorp, now warns is “unavoidable.”

Yeah, that's right. No more bacon in your coffee or making bacon pancakes.

So what can you do to help? Well.. nothing. Not even not eating bacon will help us at this point. The pork shortage will hit us no matter what. So in a sense, the best thing you could do is put your head between your legs and kiss your sweet ass bacon goodbye.

Or you could be like Rick Swanson and start hoarding up some bacon...

Okay, maybe you don't have to go to that extreme. In fact, you don't have to go through any extreme. Just because the supply side is low doesn't mean that it's going to be completely gone. Duh. Don't you know anything about economics? It just means that the pound of bacon you buy will cost a little bit more next year.

So fear not, you'll be able to jam bacon into milkshakes, vodka and any other godly unlikely place you'd want to put it. Just.. well, just stop being so nerdy about it. You don't need bacon flavor toothpaste. You people never get it right anyway. Just ends up tasting like liquid smoke dumped into it.

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