Thursday, September 13, 2018



I have to tell you this with a heavy heart, but your love of bacon and pork products in the face of this very scary Hurricane Florence that is hitting North Carolina is going to make for some shitty times. I warn you, what I'm about to tell you will make you squeal in disgust.

Since North Carolina is one of the bigger hog farming states in the US. Let me explain to you what a typical hog farm looks like. It's a lot of warehouse looking stables and because there's so many pigs there, the waste is run off into a sort of pool of manure. It's called wet animal waste and about 10 billion pounds of it is produced in NC a year.  They store the pig's shit in uncovered, earthen lagoons and they can get to the size of football fields. And despite urging farmers to prepare for the storm in one aspect of draining them, I don't think many actually did. So now the storm is set to roll right though the areas today and tomorrow.

This isn't a new concept. In 2016 when Hurricane Matthew plowed in, 14 hog manure lagoons were flooded out. While the farmers did a lot more to pump out and haul it out to sort of limit the damage, the big concern was eventually that the flood waters merge with the hog feces and it makes a sort of toxic soup that fucks up the ecosystem as it eventually was blamed for algae blooms and killing a lot of fish and other wildlife.

It also adds a lot of bacteria from the pig feces to the groundwater and that would be a major issue for the future of the land. As it stands, the feces pools can handle about 25 inches of rain without a problem, but the forecast currently is showing that around 40 inches of rain is expected in parts of North Carolina.

Then you have the other factor, it's a goddamn hurricane. Imagine millions of gallons of pig shit just going 140 miles per hour as the beast rolls by. Mind you, there's also another scary thing. Back in 1961, a plane carrying atomic bombs had to make an emergency landing and dropped its cargo - thankfully it didn't explode in NC, and while the recovery found 2 of the bombs, a third one was sort of "lost" in the buried mess. While it was sort of deactivated, it still was a situation that the thermonuclear core was just gone in the wind. Maybe Florence will find that when it passes through. 

Think about that, an 80 foot wave of pig shit powered by a thermonuclear core. I wonder if you got coated in high velocity, radioactive pig shit, could you come out like spider-man, but only with some sort of shit storm pig powers?

But hey, at least we have FEMA to help out with the clean up of this eventual disaster. Oh wait.. that's right.... while widely reported all over the place, it's worth noting once more that President Trump moved 10 million out of FEMA and put it into ICE services. So yeah, when the hurricane relief efforts are as bad as Puerto Rico - Okay, well they won't be that bad cause both NC and SC can vote and representatives actually care about white people, but when it's horribly mismanaged and underfunded. Just remember that a lot of that money that could have helped rebuild or bring relief to the area went straight up to lock up children in cages because they walked passed an imaginary line in the ground. 

You know, there's a theory that one of the extinction events possible is that the huge meteor impact that was the demise of the dinos really caused hypercanes, which are hurricanes the size of the US with about 500 mph winds.

All that I'm saying is that Death is pretty much certain.

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