Video Games Don't Effect Kids...
It's actually energy drinks...
Now that was a pretty hardcore energy drink commercial. They sure know that I need a sugar filled drink that matches my "devil-may-care" attitude. No way will I bow down to taggers, register jockies, mother's cooking or black b-ball players. And of course, not any Pig who I could easily take their gun,
I suppose the best thing of that ad is that it ends with the kid puking. Cause usually when I have tried these energy drinks, I feel like skipping directly to that point of the ad and puking.
Showing posts with label Energy drinks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Energy drinks. Show all posts
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Living Without VD
Living Without VD
I have to be honest with you folks, I don't care for Valentines Day. Here we are ten days away from that Hallmark Holiday. Ok, Nine days. Sorry, I was a bit lazy in posting this warning because I was gearing up with Superbowl related blogs. I want to remind you folks that with Valentines day comes inconvenience, cost and obligations. You have a nine day head start. I suggest you start running now.
Now this doesn't make me some cold, heartless bastard. Hell, I'm currently writing a 30 ideas for dates blog feature here. It's pretty clear that I can, when called upon, present some pretty awesome plans for a date. But I have to admit that I have no interest in limiting it to only one day when everyone else is doing it. Nor have it when stores are going to charge you up the ass for it. Valentines day has got to the point where you feel you're bent over and taking it by the flower, chocolate and card companies.
You may feel obligated to go all out with the flowers, candy, champaign or even renting out a limo for the night. Let me slap some sense into you. DON'T DO IT! Just drop out during Valentines day. You don't want to be stuck making dinner planes, reservations or hotel room deposits. If you were going to go the route of flowers you're way too late.
I saw on Costco.com a couple of weeks back that if you wanted two dozen roses and ordered them so far in advance, you'd be able to buy them on the cheap. But that road has come and gone. If you're late on that boat you're facing triple the normal prices for things that will die fairly soon. If you're going to buy flowers, buy them for your mother.
This view isn't jaded because of my heart being broken or anything like that. I'm actually perfectly happy in my position right now in life. I just feel like I shouldn't be governed by some hallmark holiday as to when and how to show my feelings. I will not be a slave to a holiday or be pressured into some sort of situation simply because the calendar says it's some day. Much like Christmas lost the meaning of being with loved ones and turned into a "What are you giving me" holiday, Valentines day may have, at one point, actually meant something. It no longer represents that same meaning
During this time of the month you see all those destroyed men come out of the wood work. When you go out on Valentines day you see these beaten down guys. You ever see someone who is wearing a jacket and tie and they look extremely uncomfortable because they're not normally wearing anything like that and it's clear that they're not comfortable? It looks like they were dressed by the undertaker. They'd rather be put in a casket than dress like that. They sit there and look like they just want to die. As if they'd rather be at a Carl's Jr. than at whatever food eatery they're at working on their prefixed meal.
So even if you're going to your favorite eating establishment you're not going to be able to order off the menu. Add in that you're going to be going out on a night where everyone and their mother goes out and you have yourself facing some massive wait times. Not to mention terrible service. I do not envy waiters on Valentines day. You have every yahoo that comes out ONLY on holidays like this so when they give you a 10% tip and act like they're splurging on you, you have to grin and bear it. Not to mention their expectations are higher because it's a "special night out" while their manager is telling them to get them fed and turn that table around to make more money off it.
To them you're another two top table that can sit someone new after you finished scarfing down your meal. It's all about turn around and not at all about quality of food or service that matters on that night. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the overpricing for no other reason besides they can? So when your girl is looking at the menu trying to find the most expensive bottle of champaign or wine on there, just remember that it'll cost you even more than the usual over charge for a decent bottle of wine. But hey, at least they'll sleep with you right. I mean, isn't that what the booze is for?
Speaking of which, what the hell is this idea that getting sex is something special on Valentines day? That somehow the guy has to earn it by doing all these feats of strength and monetary value in order to swoon the partner? The guy is also giving sex as well. I would imagine that sex is just as enjoyable for women as it is for men. Having it be some reward or gift at the end of the night really doesn't make it sound like you're into the guy to begin with. As if you're treating sex as a bargaining chip. Talk about the ultimate version of re-gifting.
The worse part is that Valentines day falls on a Saturday this year. You're going to get stuck with a weekend outing. A weekend in Vegas or a weekend in Cancun and you're going to be stuck with the bill. Is it really worth it? I have to ask this of the ladies. If the guy wont do something for you on February 9th, what's so special about the 14th that makes them any better? It's still society forcing them to do it because it's some holiday.
No matter what though, these husk of former human flesh guys are the same ones who you'll see between now and February 13th at the mall looking like the walking dead. Perplexed by how sizes work at Victoria's Secret asking the employee that closely resembles their girlfriend to try something on to see how it looks.. "You look about her size, can you try this out for me?" It's really just sad. I follow them for fun when I'm bored. I sneak into the card stores to see these guys sweat it out trying to figure out which card that would do. The reality of it is that they don't feel comfortable saying anything that card has. You just don't feel right putting your name on that card. They'd rather get in and buy something and get the hell out. You're better off handing them $50 and telling them to go to the mall themselves. "Here's a gift card, GO CRAZY!"
I really don't blame them. I have to ask again, why put yourself through this? Valentines day is a holiday for chicks. There's nothing in it for a guy. You don't have to share kindness on that day. I don't see why I should give anyone anymore than they give me. Materially, emotionally or any other way. Most women I have known are the cheapest creatures on Earth. So when it comes to materialistic goods, they like to receive but they don't like to give. I'm not saying all women. I know a few who are excellent givers. But like they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Doesn't make it any less broken.
The Holiday has its roots to when the Roman Saint Valentine was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. How we get "send people chocolate and love one another" out of this makes as much sense as does Easters "Hide the Eggs from Jesus" does.
Now Valentines day has become a competition in consumerism. The girls at work are comparing the sizes of roses they get and it doesn't say anything more than "Look at how much my vagina is worth." It's the same when you see them showing off their wedding rings and it's really not very romantic.
Here's an idea that you can take to the bank. How about you save the money from those roses and you invest into something with more of a shelf life. The pragmatic approach here would be to pay your god damn bills. We're in the middle of a piss poor economy and job loss is at an all time high. How about you save that cash from flowers and you don't default on your mortgage payment. That's if you're lacking the balls to not do anything on Valentines day and you buckle into the demands.
My advice? Go out to a cool, hip looking bar. Lola's is a perfect example of this. You'll get the enjoyment out of seeing those shattered men trying to make that "perfect" evening while also enjoying a couple of drinks and then the newly single women come into play. Those others who broke it up and are just pissed about the hallmark holiday will be more than happy to drink up with you.
The easy way out is simply not answering the phone on Feb. 14th.
I have to be honest with you folks, I don't care for Valentines Day. Here we are ten days away from that Hallmark Holiday. Ok, Nine days. Sorry, I was a bit lazy in posting this warning because I was gearing up with Superbowl related blogs. I want to remind you folks that with Valentines day comes inconvenience, cost and obligations. You have a nine day head start. I suggest you start running now.
Now this doesn't make me some cold, heartless bastard. Hell, I'm currently writing a 30 ideas for dates blog feature here. It's pretty clear that I can, when called upon, present some pretty awesome plans for a date. But I have to admit that I have no interest in limiting it to only one day when everyone else is doing it. Nor have it when stores are going to charge you up the ass for it. Valentines day has got to the point where you feel you're bent over and taking it by the flower, chocolate and card companies.
You may feel obligated to go all out with the flowers, candy, champaign or even renting out a limo for the night. Let me slap some sense into you. DON'T DO IT! Just drop out during Valentines day. You don't want to be stuck making dinner planes, reservations or hotel room deposits. If you were going to go the route of flowers you're way too late.
I saw on Costco.com a couple of weeks back that if you wanted two dozen roses and ordered them so far in advance, you'd be able to buy them on the cheap. But that road has come and gone. If you're late on that boat you're facing triple the normal prices for things that will die fairly soon. If you're going to buy flowers, buy them for your mother.
This view isn't jaded because of my heart being broken or anything like that. I'm actually perfectly happy in my position right now in life. I just feel like I shouldn't be governed by some hallmark holiday as to when and how to show my feelings. I will not be a slave to a holiday or be pressured into some sort of situation simply because the calendar says it's some day. Much like Christmas lost the meaning of being with loved ones and turned into a "What are you giving me" holiday, Valentines day may have, at one point, actually meant something. It no longer represents that same meaning
During this time of the month you see all those destroyed men come out of the wood work. When you go out on Valentines day you see these beaten down guys. You ever see someone who is wearing a jacket and tie and they look extremely uncomfortable because they're not normally wearing anything like that and it's clear that they're not comfortable? It looks like they were dressed by the undertaker. They'd rather be put in a casket than dress like that. They sit there and look like they just want to die. As if they'd rather be at a Carl's Jr. than at whatever food eatery they're at working on their prefixed meal.
So even if you're going to your favorite eating establishment you're not going to be able to order off the menu. Add in that you're going to be going out on a night where everyone and their mother goes out and you have yourself facing some massive wait times. Not to mention terrible service. I do not envy waiters on Valentines day. You have every yahoo that comes out ONLY on holidays like this so when they give you a 10% tip and act like they're splurging on you, you have to grin and bear it. Not to mention their expectations are higher because it's a "special night out" while their manager is telling them to get them fed and turn that table around to make more money off it.
To them you're another two top table that can sit someone new after you finished scarfing down your meal. It's all about turn around and not at all about quality of food or service that matters on that night. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the overpricing for no other reason besides they can? So when your girl is looking at the menu trying to find the most expensive bottle of champaign or wine on there, just remember that it'll cost you even more than the usual over charge for a decent bottle of wine. But hey, at least they'll sleep with you right. I mean, isn't that what the booze is for?
Speaking of which, what the hell is this idea that getting sex is something special on Valentines day? That somehow the guy has to earn it by doing all these feats of strength and monetary value in order to swoon the partner? The guy is also giving sex as well. I would imagine that sex is just as enjoyable for women as it is for men. Having it be some reward or gift at the end of the night really doesn't make it sound like you're into the guy to begin with. As if you're treating sex as a bargaining chip. Talk about the ultimate version of re-gifting.
The worse part is that Valentines day falls on a Saturday this year. You're going to get stuck with a weekend outing. A weekend in Vegas or a weekend in Cancun and you're going to be stuck with the bill. Is it really worth it? I have to ask this of the ladies. If the guy wont do something for you on February 9th, what's so special about the 14th that makes them any better? It's still society forcing them to do it because it's some holiday.
No matter what though, these husk of former human flesh guys are the same ones who you'll see between now and February 13th at the mall looking like the walking dead. Perplexed by how sizes work at Victoria's Secret asking the employee that closely resembles their girlfriend to try something on to see how it looks.. "You look about her size, can you try this out for me?" It's really just sad. I follow them for fun when I'm bored. I sneak into the card stores to see these guys sweat it out trying to figure out which card that would do. The reality of it is that they don't feel comfortable saying anything that card has. You just don't feel right putting your name on that card. They'd rather get in and buy something and get the hell out. You're better off handing them $50 and telling them to go to the mall themselves. "Here's a gift card, GO CRAZY!"
I really don't blame them. I have to ask again, why put yourself through this? Valentines day is a holiday for chicks. There's nothing in it for a guy. You don't have to share kindness on that day. I don't see why I should give anyone anymore than they give me. Materially, emotionally or any other way. Most women I have known are the cheapest creatures on Earth. So when it comes to materialistic goods, they like to receive but they don't like to give. I'm not saying all women. I know a few who are excellent givers. But like they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Doesn't make it any less broken.
The Holiday has its roots to when the Roman Saint Valentine was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. How we get "send people chocolate and love one another" out of this makes as much sense as does Easters "Hide the Eggs from Jesus" does.
Now Valentines day has become a competition in consumerism. The girls at work are comparing the sizes of roses they get and it doesn't say anything more than "Look at how much my vagina is worth." It's the same when you see them showing off their wedding rings and it's really not very romantic.
Here's an idea that you can take to the bank. How about you save the money from those roses and you invest into something with more of a shelf life. The pragmatic approach here would be to pay your god damn bills. We're in the middle of a piss poor economy and job loss is at an all time high. How about you save that cash from flowers and you don't default on your mortgage payment. That's if you're lacking the balls to not do anything on Valentines day and you buckle into the demands.
My advice? Go out to a cool, hip looking bar. Lola's is a perfect example of this. You'll get the enjoyment out of seeing those shattered men trying to make that "perfect" evening while also enjoying a couple of drinks and then the newly single women come into play. Those others who broke it up and are just pissed about the hallmark holiday will be more than happy to drink up with you.
The easy way out is simply not answering the phone on Feb. 14th.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Energy Fuel Showdown Part 1
Energy Fuel Showdown Part 1
In the recent past I got on my soap box and ranted about how energy drinks think I'm a huge pussy. Hell, I even went away from those mean drinks and tried anti-energy. But then I got so lethargic that I pounded even more sugar filled drinks. I continued to do this grueling punishment of tasting them one by one for the sake of reviewing them. I like punishment.
I'm also on a constant quest in trying to get the most out of the 24 hours in my day. I don't have the time to be tired. Sleep? Ha! That's for the weak and the dead. I am neither one of these. While I do have a life time of staying awake I understand some of you are not filled with my ability to stay up late. To you normal humans that need to turn to taurines and guanines and caffeines and vita-meines B12 and B6. There's also Coffee, but for those of you who have tasted expresso from around the world, that may not be enough. With that said, here's the first round up of some common energy drinks.
All numbers are out of 10.
Redbull:
Taste: 3, Though it's an acquired taste, no aftertaste which is good.
Potency: 3, a couple hours at most, then a terrible crash.
This is the Coke of energy drinks. It's the most recognizable, good place to start because it gets you used to any terrible tasting energy drink. Great right before you have to drive home or take a big test because it will only last that long and you can chill (and then fall asleep) afterwards. But I have to warn you, mixing it with Vodka... holy shit, I really don't want to remember how my heart felt like it was going to explode.
NOS:
Taste: Blue, Red and Purple get 8
Potency: 6, hyper for first hour or two, alert and awake for several hours.
The first one I had kept me up all night, but it was early on in my Energy Drink-Punishment. Still pretty powerful. These were expensive as fuck. I have no idea why I went with all three. The blue did have a guava and mango taste. So it was pretty decent in that aspect.
Cocaine: A "legal alternative to the drug."
Taste: 0, burned my mouth, burned my throat, I'm not sure what it tastes like.
Potency: 10, had a little of it at 10pm, didn't sleep 'till 6am.
Extremely hard to find, I had to get it in a liquor mart in south central. Which I suppose is only fitting. I'm sure it tastes disgusting, but I couldn't tell because it burned my mouth, and then burned for a while afterwards. The can was also strangely flammable. I've heard tales of people drinking two or more cans and spending all night vomiting.
No Fear:
Taste: 1, like garbage, literally, even worst aftertaste.
Potency: 4, a couple hours at most, probably.
Tastes disgusting, like old vegetables, I barely had half a can because of this.
Full Throttle:
Taste: 6, bad taste, awesome aftertaste.
Potency: 7, decently strong, no all nighters, but some extra hours if you're tired.
Costs as much as a NOS, but more or less worth it.
Monster:
Taste: 9, like candy.
Potency: 1
Delicious, but I fell asleep while drinking it. If this is an energy drink then I am the king of France. It was simply not potent at all.
Rip It:
Taste: 10, like Smarties, amazing.
Potency: 5, enough for a 4 hour excursion with friends.
And cheap, the picture says $1.09, I've seen as low as $.89, most sell for $.99 though. Worth it.
Vault:
Taste: 8, if you like Mountain Dew.
Potency: 3
Tastes like a soda, kicks like a soda with a little extra caffeine. I would relate it to a Mt. Dew with a little extra kick. Only it's not marketed as Exxxxxxtreme as Mt. Dew is.
Rockstar:
Taste: 6, just like Redbull.
Potency: 3, as strong as Redbull.
As far as I'm concerned, this is a more expensive Redbull, tastes good, but not worth it. You aren't a Rockstar when drinking this, so stop trying to act like one.
Dr. DOGG:
Taste: 8, like Monster but only more cartoony
Potency: 4 nothing beyond the normal
Big Buzz had the annoying character on the can and really, I want energy, not a Saturday morning cartoon. The taste was pretty decent. A grapefruit mixed with lightning and a dash of awesomeness. Yes, they bottled awesome and it can be purchased in a can now.
So there you have it. I would like to say that my exposure to these terrible drinks were limited to just these but that would be wishful thinking. I drank more... a lot more energy drinks to review and I'll get to them later in sequel parts to this segment. Consider it the "What punishment have I gone through for your entertainment" portion of this blog.
In the recent past I got on my soap box and ranted about how energy drinks think I'm a huge pussy. Hell, I even went away from those mean drinks and tried anti-energy. But then I got so lethargic that I pounded even more sugar filled drinks. I continued to do this grueling punishment of tasting them one by one for the sake of reviewing them. I like punishment.
I'm also on a constant quest in trying to get the most out of the 24 hours in my day. I don't have the time to be tired. Sleep? Ha! That's for the weak and the dead. I am neither one of these. While I do have a life time of staying awake I understand some of you are not filled with my ability to stay up late. To you normal humans that need to turn to taurines and guanines and caffeines and vita-meines B12 and B6. There's also Coffee, but for those of you who have tasted expresso from around the world, that may not be enough. With that said, here's the first round up of some common energy drinks.
All numbers are out of 10.
Redbull:
Taste: 3, Though it's an acquired taste, no aftertaste which is good.
Potency: 3, a couple hours at most, then a terrible crash.
This is the Coke of energy drinks. It's the most recognizable, good place to start because it gets you used to any terrible tasting energy drink. Great right before you have to drive home or take a big test because it will only last that long and you can chill (and then fall asleep) afterwards. But I have to warn you, mixing it with Vodka... holy shit, I really don't want to remember how my heart felt like it was going to explode.
NOS:
Taste: Blue, Red and Purple get 8
Potency: 6, hyper for first hour or two, alert and awake for several hours.
The first one I had kept me up all night, but it was early on in my Energy Drink-Punishment. Still pretty powerful. These were expensive as fuck. I have no idea why I went with all three. The blue did have a guava and mango taste. So it was pretty decent in that aspect.
Cocaine: A "legal alternative to the drug."
Taste: 0, burned my mouth, burned my throat, I'm not sure what it tastes like.
Potency: 10, had a little of it at 10pm, didn't sleep 'till 6am.
Extremely hard to find, I had to get it in a liquor mart in south central. Which I suppose is only fitting. I'm sure it tastes disgusting, but I couldn't tell because it burned my mouth, and then burned for a while afterwards. The can was also strangely flammable. I've heard tales of people drinking two or more cans and spending all night vomiting.
No Fear:
Taste: 1, like garbage, literally, even worst aftertaste.
Potency: 4, a couple hours at most, probably.
Tastes disgusting, like old vegetables, I barely had half a can because of this.
Full Throttle:
Taste: 6, bad taste, awesome aftertaste.
Potency: 7, decently strong, no all nighters, but some extra hours if you're tired.
Costs as much as a NOS, but more or less worth it.
Monster:
Taste: 9, like candy.
Potency: 1
Delicious, but I fell asleep while drinking it. If this is an energy drink then I am the king of France. It was simply not potent at all.
Rip It:
Taste: 10, like Smarties, amazing.
Potency: 5, enough for a 4 hour excursion with friends.
And cheap, the picture says $1.09, I've seen as low as $.89, most sell for $.99 though. Worth it.
Vault:
Taste: 8, if you like Mountain Dew.
Potency: 3
Tastes like a soda, kicks like a soda with a little extra caffeine. I would relate it to a Mt. Dew with a little extra kick. Only it's not marketed as Exxxxxxtreme as Mt. Dew is.
Rockstar:
Taste: 6, just like Redbull.
Potency: 3, as strong as Redbull.
As far as I'm concerned, this is a more expensive Redbull, tastes good, but not worth it. You aren't a Rockstar when drinking this, so stop trying to act like one.
Dr. DOGG:
Taste: 8, like Monster but only more cartoony
Potency: 4 nothing beyond the normal
Big Buzz had the annoying character on the can and really, I want energy, not a Saturday morning cartoon. The taste was pretty decent. A grapefruit mixed with lightning and a dash of awesomeness. Yes, they bottled awesome and it can be purchased in a can now.
So there you have it. I would like to say that my exposure to these terrible drinks were limited to just these but that would be wishful thinking. I drank more... a lot more energy drinks to review and I'll get to them later in sequel parts to this segment. Consider it the "What punishment have I gone through for your entertainment" portion of this blog.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Anti-Energy Drink
Anti-Energy Drink
It's Sunday. You have to relax, home skillet. No need to get worked up and exert your energy. There's a reason why your lord and savior took the seventh day to rest. The G-man knew that he had to chillaxe, yo.
So what's the problem now? Oh, you can't relax? Too tense cause them bills gots to get paid? Well then you need to get yourself some of this and you'll slow your roll' by drinking Drank Beverage
While most other suckas drink juice to get all juiced, a true dawg will put down his can of Monster and get his drink on with drank. When you gots to just pass the fuck out accept no substitutes. So what's in Drank? As the website says it best
The best part of the website, besides everything else on there, is that the state that they're publicly traded. Get in on the ground floor, yo.
I would write more but it's Sunday and the six pack of Drank I chugged away is kicking in... Time to slooooooow my roll, yo.
It's Sunday. You have to relax, home skillet. No need to get worked up and exert your energy. There's a reason why your lord and savior took the seventh day to rest. The G-man knew that he had to chillaxe, yo.
So what's the problem now? Oh, you can't relax? Too tense cause them bills gots to get paid? Well then you need to get yourself some of this and you'll slow your roll' by drinking Drank Beverage
While most other suckas drink juice to get all juiced, a true dawg will put down his can of Monster and get his drink on with drank. When you gots to just pass the fuck out accept no substitutes. So what's in Drank? As the website says it best
"Drank" contains a combination of Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin designed to "slow your roll" after a hectic day. A calming beverage, Drank is formulated to relax the body, mind, and soul. "Drank" is the perfect lifestyle beverage for those who can appreciate extreme relaxation. So grab a Drank and "Slow Your Roll"!Come on. Seriously? Extreme relaxation? I would kill someone right now if I didn't pound a Drank down. But an ExXxtreme relaxation? How the hell do you relax in anyway close to "Extreme"? Wasn't that the whole point of my ranting on energy drinks. Which I may add a full on report on the actual drinks will come soon. I don't think Valerian Root, Rose Hips, and Melatonin have ever been used in conjunction with Extreme anything.
The best part of the website, besides everything else on there, is that the state that they're publicly traded. Get in on the ground floor, yo.
I would write more but it's Sunday and the six pack of Drank I chugged away is kicking in... Time to slooooooow my roll, yo.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My Energy Drinks Think I'm A Pussy
My Energy Drinks Think I'm A Pussy
Forget about the amount of Caffeine, your energy drink doesn't mean shit if it isn't insulting your manhood and questioning your ability to be a complete bad ass man's man unless you drink nectar from the roots of human balls.. and in which case.. that sounds a little gay if you ask me. First off is an contradiction, MOTHER energy drink
Without the stupid marketing it's just a can of sugar water. That's where the problem falls. The marketing on drinks like this is simply awful. It seems that they make it so extreme that it passes the point of edgy and gets to levels of absurdity. To be honest, this theme seems to run true with all energy drinks on the market.
Got some Gay fuel in my man bag
This one goes towards the opposite direction. Perhaps it's one of those hipsters who does everything "ironically" so drinking something called Gay Fuel just fits their alternative lifestyle. Having trying it, it taste as gay as you'd think it would. It's dyed pink, made with elderberry, and enhances "sexual performance." so yes, it's really gay.
Remember, I'm trying these things for science. Nothing more. Though with my heart beating at hypersonic speed, it shows I'm committed to my work on this blog.. even if it's only for another 20 minutes before my heart explodes.
DELIGHTFULLY UNREFINED ENERGY (made with refined sugar (only drink this if you like boobs))
Does HOOTERS need an energy drink? I mean, seriously? They just slapped tits on a can and hope you swallow it down. I would understand it more if you were getting it served to you by a hooters girl while paying way too much for wings and watching whatever shitty sports team lose on the boob tube, but why take Hooters home with you or look to it for five hours of energy.
I had a Von Dutch energy drink can and it has a bunch of spiel about being "creative" and "unique" and "original" by consuming von dutch products. From what it tastes like i think it's made from the chemicals they use to cure the leather.
Nothing says socialism like your face on a fucking brand label energy drink..
Hey kids, wanna do some speed but are too afraid to ask a black guy to sell you some coke?
If your gonna get something to keep you sharp and alert, may as well get some proper crank. Seriously, if you're that in need of a quick energy boost you might as well just go ahead and develop a coke habit. On the other hand, if you can afford it go down to your local psychiatrist and tell them that you have trouble concentrating and get yourself an adderall prescription. stuff's nasty and you should use only when absolutely necessary, but man it comes through in a pinch.
I somehow doubt you'd get energy from HEMP...
A couple of questions come to mind. First off, is there any god energy drinks? monster, Rockstar and Redbull all taste like shit. 5 hour energy is tiny and you aren't supposed to taste it. Adding redbull with vodka makes you feel like you're about to die, if you haven't already. Why bother getting energy from something that taste like ass? Don't ask and no description needed for this link. Just click here to see everything wrong with energy drinks.
Jesus christ, now I know how old people feel about the world when they see interracial dudes kissing
Like you people need more sugar in your diets. Drink some coffee/tea if you need caffeine. America's love affair with coffee and disdain for tea sucks hard. I suppose it all goes back to when we tossed a shit ton of it into a river. America gained independence over tea and yet we look at it as if it was leafy dirty water.
The idea that Americans don't like tea isn't completely correct. As long as you package enough sugar in that shit and can it with an Arizona logo, then they'll love it. But tea is civilized. When I drink tea, I like to think of myself as Winston Churchill, sitting on the lawn at Blenheim, enjoying some Earl Grey and a morphine lozenge.
Purple rain refers to the color of your piss after drinking.
I seldom drink Soda these days. When I was in my early 20's I would polish down 2 liters of Pepsi a day and that was at a minimum. Then after my third heart attack I cut back. Not only did I lose weight by not drinking soda daily, but I gained some respect for the drink. I sit here and enjoy my Sarsaparilla. It's a special treat. I'm sure I could be happy drinking this everyday, but then it wouldn't be a nice treat every once in a while. But don't you dare call it pop!
Calling Soda "Pop" is strange and very much confusing to me. Perhaps I'm simply not from Chicago and don't understand the fear against calling soda soda. Maybe we shouldn't take the word of anything that come from a place that if it isn't the most corrupt state in USA it is certainly one hell of a competitor Then again, perhaps I don't want to get into a war on what to call carbonated sugar tonics.
Either way I don't drink much caffeine; I don't need it. Every morning I fire out of bed, full of vigor, tackling my amazingly successful life is its own reward. My zest for life is boundless. Certainly not any sort of drink that questions my manliness.
Forget about the amount of Caffeine, your energy drink doesn't mean shit if it isn't insulting your manhood and questioning your ability to be a complete bad ass man's man unless you drink nectar from the roots of human balls.. and in which case.. that sounds a little gay if you ask me. First off is an contradiction, MOTHER energy drink
If you need a MOTHER of an enery hit.Jesus Christ, I just wanted to stay awake. I get the idea that the whole ExXxTREME marketing but can they sell this in any other way besides screaming ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH FOR DIABETES? I don't get the big black can line. Is that some sexual metaphor that I'm suppose to get hinted at? The ad campaign as a whole sounds extremely gay. They should change it to something that describes how only this drink can give you the same feeling inside as that of a mothers love. Nothing is more manly than loving your mother.
you need MOTHER. It delivers twice the kick,
in a big black can.
So now when a mate turns up with a wussy-sized
can, you can raise your MOTHER up and
proudly say 'did yours come with a man-bag?".
WARNING! HIGH CAFFINE CONTENT...OK, WE KNOW THAT'S
WHY YOU'RE DRINKING IT BUT OUR LAME LEGAL GUYS MADE US
WARN YOU NOT TO FEED THIS TO KIDS, UP THE DUFF WOMEN OR
THE WEAK, WHO JUST CAN'T TOLERATE IT.
Without the stupid marketing it's just a can of sugar water. That's where the problem falls. The marketing on drinks like this is simply awful. It seems that they make it so extreme that it passes the point of edgy and gets to levels of absurdity. To be honest, this theme seems to run true with all energy drinks on the market.
Got some Gay fuel in my man bag
This one goes towards the opposite direction. Perhaps it's one of those hipsters who does everything "ironically" so drinking something called Gay Fuel just fits their alternative lifestyle. Having trying it, it taste as gay as you'd think it would. It's dyed pink, made with elderberry, and enhances "sexual performance." so yes, it's really gay.
Remember, I'm trying these things for science. Nothing more. Though with my heart beating at hypersonic speed, it shows I'm committed to my work on this blog.. even if it's only for another 20 minutes before my heart explodes.
DELIGHTFULLY UNREFINED ENERGY (made with refined sugar (only drink this if you like boobs))
Does HOOTERS need an energy drink? I mean, seriously? They just slapped tits on a can and hope you swallow it down. I would understand it more if you were getting it served to you by a hooters girl while paying way too much for wings and watching whatever shitty sports team lose on the boob tube, but why take Hooters home with you or look to it for five hours of energy.
I had a Von Dutch energy drink can and it has a bunch of spiel about being "creative" and "unique" and "original" by consuming von dutch products. From what it tastes like i think it's made from the chemicals they use to cure the leather.
Nothing says socialism like your face on a fucking brand label energy drink..
Hey kids, wanna do some speed but are too afraid to ask a black guy to sell you some coke?
Cocaine is a highly caffeinated energy drink distributed by Redux Beverages. It contains three and a half times the caffeine of a more popular energy drink, Red Bull, symbolized by three and a half steer heads on the label. Aside from caffeine the label boasts 750 milligrams of taurine, another common ingredient found in many energy drinks.The cocaine energy drink burned more than actual cocaine. Then again, I don't think you were suppose to snort it. It was taken off the market because of the obvious drug relationship. I talked to a former meth addict friend of mine. He had really no comment on the matter other than telling me that after bumping meth for a week at a time for a year, energy drinks were like trying to recapture the excitement of dancing on the surface of the sun by standing on a heating pad under a 60 watt bulb. So kids, why bother with these pussy drinks.
If your gonna get something to keep you sharp and alert, may as well get some proper crank. Seriously, if you're that in need of a quick energy boost you might as well just go ahead and develop a coke habit. On the other hand, if you can afford it go down to your local psychiatrist and tell them that you have trouble concentrating and get yourself an adderall prescription. stuff's nasty and you should use only when absolutely necessary, but man it comes through in a pinch.
I somehow doubt you'd get energy from HEMP...
A couple of questions come to mind. First off, is there any god energy drinks? monster, Rockstar and Redbull all taste like shit. 5 hour energy is tiny and you aren't supposed to taste it. Adding redbull with vodka makes you feel like you're about to die, if you haven't already. Why bother getting energy from something that taste like ass? Don't ask and no description needed for this link. Just click here to see everything wrong with energy drinks.
Jesus christ, now I know how old people feel about the world when they see interracial dudes kissing
Like you people need more sugar in your diets. Drink some coffee/tea if you need caffeine. America's love affair with coffee and disdain for tea sucks hard. I suppose it all goes back to when we tossed a shit ton of it into a river. America gained independence over tea and yet we look at it as if it was leafy dirty water.
The idea that Americans don't like tea isn't completely correct. As long as you package enough sugar in that shit and can it with an Arizona logo, then they'll love it. But tea is civilized. When I drink tea, I like to think of myself as Winston Churchill, sitting on the lawn at Blenheim, enjoying some Earl Grey and a morphine lozenge.
Purple rain refers to the color of your piss after drinking.
I seldom drink Soda these days. When I was in my early 20's I would polish down 2 liters of Pepsi a day and that was at a minimum. Then after my third heart attack I cut back. Not only did I lose weight by not drinking soda daily, but I gained some respect for the drink. I sit here and enjoy my Sarsaparilla. It's a special treat. I'm sure I could be happy drinking this everyday, but then it wouldn't be a nice treat every once in a while. But don't you dare call it pop!
Calling Soda "Pop" is strange and very much confusing to me. Perhaps I'm simply not from Chicago and don't understand the fear against calling soda soda. Maybe we shouldn't take the word of anything that come from a place that if it isn't the most corrupt state in USA it is certainly one hell of a competitor Then again, perhaps I don't want to get into a war on what to call carbonated sugar tonics.
Either way I don't drink much caffeine; I don't need it. Every morning I fire out of bed, full of vigor, tackling my amazingly successful life is its own reward. My zest for life is boundless. Certainly not any sort of drink that questions my manliness.
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