Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Hobbit

The Hobbit

Now that I've seen the Hobbit a good dozen times.. Yes, that's right. A dozen times. What can I say, I'm a nerd and this sort of AD&D shit is just stuff I eat up. In any case, I have a few observations to make based on my own political and real world views being applied to this world of Middle-Earth.

Let's face it. Bilbo isn't saving the world or anything. He sort of blunders into a brutal war he can't even begin to grasp with a bunch of military contractors. While there they use superior military technology to kill some indigenous people and then he goes on to exterminate the last member of an ancient species. All before going home with a shit ton of foreign loot.

You want to talk about class warfare, he carries around a magical sword that detects anyone not accepted by society. Oh that Bilbo, boldly adventuring on in his travels with a deposed monarch and his crew seeking to re-found an empire.

And yeah, it was a red shirt archer who killed the dragon. But that local man who shot it down only did so after the dragon was provoked into a rampage by Bilbo's theft of Thorin's ancestral crown jewels. If I recall correctly, he tells smaug that he's one of the lake folk, which sends the mighty beast off to his doom at the hands of Bard - who has a black arrow passed down for generations and generations. Apparently that sort of stuff makes you predestined to be ruler

So see kids, the moral of the Hobbit is simple - Steal Jewelry, Get Friends, Kill those ugly assholes.

Oh yeah, and ruin New Zealand's actors unions....

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