Saturday, October 20, 2018

CAN YOU HEAR THE FROGS

CAN YOU HEAR THE FROGS?

Last month during Hurricane Florence, I was watching a live streamer hurricane chaser... Well, just some dumb ass who drove around in his truck during the middle of the hurricane making land fall and live streaming the footage of shit falling over.

During the middle of the stream he said something that I can only describe as the darkest and scariest shit any southerner can possibly ever say... and I have spent my fair share of time in the South... He got out of his truck and you can just hear the wind blowing in a very menacing way howling around and all you can aside from that is frogs croaking around.  Sure enough, that southerner can just be heard saying

"CAN  YOU HEAR THE FROGS"

That shit was scary as fuck. I don't know why it had such an impact on me, but the whole moment was creepy as all hell. Hearing the rain coming down and the wind just ripping apart things and all the while frogs just gleefully enjoying every moment of this impending doom.

Though, now that I think about it, I bet they were loving the situation. Lots of warm water and rain and good mud getting created. They must have been frogs in slop. Or whatever it is you can use as an example for pigs in a mess. Ah yes, big beautiful mud, the best mud. It's gorgeous. We have the best mud, my uncle was a mudologist from UCLA, and always told me about the good mud, good brains, his brains, good brains for mud, he knew. I know. It sure is the bestest of all the best muds!

Ah yeah, very good frogs. YESSSSS, sing your song of the death from above. Keep singing your beautiful death frog song!

But seriously, if you're ever in the south and a stranger just tells you Can you hear the frogs? I think it's best time you just run. Run as fast as you can and as far as you can or else the "frog people" that they took you out to sacrifice to their gods will have the ritual fulfilled. Because that's some of the creepiest shit you could ever hear someone say.

Especially if you're in a dark forest like area and weather conditions just scream  "Yeah, you're in a horror movie right now".

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