COSTCO - LINES

COSTCO - LINES

"Look, if we stay accident free for another 22 days, we all get steak sandwiches from the butcher department. If you see anything that will jeopardize our steak sandwiches, man, you let me know"
-Costco register jockey

Seriously one of the more comical things I have heard from a Costco employee. I mean, steak sandwiches are pretty fucking tasty. And I'm not one to shy away from the benefits of good work place safety. So combining the two just does seem like the most correct thing to do.

But this guy was cool, he sparked a conversation with me asking how my day was going. I mean, that's the typical nice answer to break the social silence. And then while packing up the stuff he saw that I had a copy of Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman in my check out stuff along with a lot of alcohol and cheese - you know, the typical stuff I do. Why was I buying another copy of Leaves of grass? I mean, for the bathroom, of course.

Anyhow, he started talking to me about how that book or at least another Whitman's book gets quoted a lot in baseball commentary. I agreed and figure that the whole concept of his prose really lends itself out to it. I mean, this was a conversation with a Costco check out worker who was boxing up my stuff and I felt like it was some deep shit. So yeah, i totally told him that I hope no one gets into an accident and cost him his steak sandwiches, because really, that would suck. 

But it got me to thinking about the whole Costco check out process. You make some strange conversations along the way. I know the one Dad joke I constantly get told by a slightly older than myself father looking type is  "Okay, you buy this time and I'll get next time."

For a while I didn't even really understand it. But I mean, you chuckle anyway because someone is trying to just socialize and you don't know their stuff. Maybe they are a father to a newborn and they're working through their material for when they're older. Maybe they just don't get to talk to many people and this is the limited social interaction they will have.

You humor them. After all, you are both Costco members and there's a bond there, man. One you can't break, unless you're at the samples line and then it's every man for themselves in the most savage madness possible.

At least it's a lot funnier and makes you feel better than those times when you feel like the person behind you wants that item divider so badly, as if you are going to pay for their shit anyway. I know where my stuff starts and ends, buddy. I am not at risk of accidentally buying one of your items. Just cool your fucking jets, homie.