So now that we're all into the Holiday season and everyone's into the whole Jesus thing, I guess it's time to listen to something the Pope said..
Pope says condoms acceptable 'in certain cases'
Pope Benedict XVI says that condom use is acceptable "in certain cases", notably "to reduce the risk of infection" with HIV, in a book due out Tuesday, apparently softening his once hardline stance.
In a series of interviews published in his native German, the 83-year-old Benedict is asked whether "the Catholic Church is not fundamentally against the use of condoms."
"It of course does not see it as a real and moral solution," the pope replies. Advertisement: Story continues below
"In certain cases, where the intention is to reduce the risk of infection, it can nevertheless be a first step on the way to another, more humane sexuality," said the head of the world's 1.1 billion Catholics.
The new volume, entitled "Light of the World: The Pope, the Church and the Signs of the Times", is based on 20 hours of interviews conducted by German journalist Peter Seewald.
Until now, the Vatican had prohibited the use of any form of contraception -- other than abstinence -- even as a guard against sexually transmitted disease.
Benedict sparked international outcry in March 2009 on a visit to AIDS-ravaged Africa when he told reporters the disease was a tragedy "that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems."
To illustrate his apparent shift in position, Benedict offered the example of a male prostitute using a condom.
"There may be justified individual cases, for example when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be ... a first bit of responsibility, to re-develop the understanding that not everything is permitted and that one may not do everything one wishes," Benedict was quoted as saying.
"But it is not the proper way to deal with the horror of HIV infection."
Well, isn't that something. I'm sure I could fill the rest of this blog with tons of articles and other such stories showing the horrors that the catholic church's standing on condoms has caused the world, especially in third world countries and the massive high number of aids cases in Africa, but that would be too much effort and it's the Holiday season after all.. Gotta rest up as the year comes to a close.
Then again, this won't change anything. No reasonable catholic ever gave a shit about what the Pope said. Hell, it's hard enough to find a reasonable catholic itself. Even if this is a step into the right direction for the Pope to do away with silly nonsense of trying to get the masses to produce like cattle.
But, as the Vatican noted in a longer, Italian version of its statement, the pope's remarks were made in a "colloquial and not magisterial" form. In other words, they represented his private opinions rather than official teaching.
Writing for the Catholic World Report website, US academic Janet Smith, argued: "The Holy Father is simply observing that for some homosexual prostitutes the use of a condom may indicate an awakening of a moral sense."
Ha. What a load of shit. So they pinned it that it was simply his opinion but has no baring on the stance the church has taken. That would be like Obama stating that racism shouldn't exist, but that our nation will still racially profile and the views are simply of that one head leader..
How could the church continue on with this stupid stance that using condoms will still send you to the fiery pits of hell? I guess it's a double win for them if they keep this stance. Those folks who are religious nuts will still be having tons of kids, who at least one or two will be more than willing to give money to the church as a life long member.
Not to mention that the less gay people who are for Jesus, even though the church tells them he hates them, will not use condoms because A.) The church says it's wrong and B.) because it feels a whole lot better. Leading the chances of AIDS in the community that much bigger and killing off the gays for the church.
I guess I should just settle with the Pope at least agreeing with the concept that using condoms should be something folks should practice. I wonder what his stance on double bagging is? Or maybe I just shouldn't take my sexual advice from someone who's not suppose to have sex.
Well, let's face it. We're approaching Valentine's Day and that means that people will have an excuse to have sex. Yes, that's right, even the most undesired can get laid that night if they simply go to the bars and seek out a partner in all those other people who went out on this night in search for love.. or at least the fleeting feeling that you are loved by someone who got a couple of Jack and cokes in you..
So what does this have to do with Goldilocks and the three bears? Well, no. This isn't about big hairy gay guys. More to the point of Goldilocks not finding the right size that she needed and being all anal about getting it just right. And what the hell does that have to do with condoms? Well, you see, condoms come in all shapes and sizes. Take this (discovered fake) Durex ad boasting about size....
Ah, it just makes you wonder about the shitty nature of our societies view point on penis sizes and the need to buy something more for the idea of protraying yourself as something you are not nor probably need. You see, Speaking on behalf of guys wth enormous dicks everywhere, I'd just like to say that that's inconsiderate.
That ad is advocating violence against prostitutes because seriously, who the fuck wears condoms during blowjobs? We already wrap our junk in a layer for sex, do you now want to take away the fun that the feeling of lips on a penis feel by putting a sheet of rubber between you and it? Pfft, I think not! That was how I took the ad at first, like the band-aids were covering up warts or something. But I think it's implying that the dick is so big that it actually injured her mouth because it was SO BIG and those are the people that need enormous condoms.
It really is a completely useless product, too. Normal condoms are more than elastic enough to handle porn stars-- the normal consumers of "magnum" condoms are insecure teenagers (or their mental equivalents) who want to look cool buying the "big stuff". All they really do is slip off and cause more pregnancies in most cases. At best they're just a little wider at the top. That's it. They play directly into the insecure minds of every tiny penored young adult.
I remember in college when I would hear stories about how folks in the health/resource office would have guys who would pass up free condoms all the time because they were "too small" for them. Apparently I attended the University of Gigantic cocks in Girth town, USA. Man, I really do miss the days of free condoms... much less the occasion to actually use them. But man, do I miss getting those condoms and thinking I was going to fuck like a rabbit. It would be like giving a guy the bullets but no gun or target....
Something's wrong in this picture.. Can you tell what it is?
Oddly enough, in college a lot of people refused to use the free condoms handed out by planned parenthood because the churches spread the rumor around that they'd poked small, invisible holes in them so people would get pregnant anyway and would somehow have no choice but to have an abortion. I'm not sure which is the more retarded reason to pass on free condoms: "Mah dikz be too big" or "invisible holes will get you knocked up, yo". Either way, dumb ass shit.
On the other end of the specturm... India and Condoms have not had the best of relationships. If you didn't know, three years ago it was reported that condoms were too big for Indian men...
Condoms 'too big' for Indian men December 8th 2006 By Damian Grammaticus BBC News, Delhi
Condom factory There is a "lack of awareness" over condom sizes A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.
The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.
It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.
The two-year study was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.
Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their penises measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.
The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.
The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have penises which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.
Doctor Chander Puri, a specialist in reproductive health at the Indian Council of Medical Research, told the BBC there was an obvious need in India for custom-made condoms, as most of those currently on sale are too large.
The issue is serious because about one in every five times a condom is used in India it either falls off or tears, an extremely high failure rate.
And the country already has the highest number of HIV infections of any nation.
'Not a problem'
Mr Puri said that since Indians would be embarrassed about going to a chemist to ask for smaller condoms there should be vending machines dispensing different sizes all around the country.
"Smaller condoms are on sale in India. But there is a lack of awareness that different sizes are available. There is anxiety talking about the issue. And normally one feels shy to go to a chemist's shop and ask for a smaller size condom."
But Indian men need not be concerned about measuring up internationally according to Sunil Mehra, the former editor of the Indian version of the men's magazine Maxim.
"It's not size, it's what you do with it that matters," he said.
"From our population, the evidence is Indians are doing pretty well.
"With apologies to the poet Alexander Pope, you could say, for inches and centimetres, let fools contend."
You sort of have to chuckle about this. The BBC literally wrote a 400 word article about Indian men having small penises. Three years later... this news story came out..
600 of city’s condom machines vandalized December 21st 2009 Ruhi Bhasin & Risha Chitlangia
NEW DELHI: About 600 of the 3,000 Condom Vending Machines (CVM) that were installed by the National AIDS Control Organisation (Naco) in different locations around the city are not working, as they have either been vandalized or removed. Moreover, few people use these machines.
The idea behind these CVMs is to make condoms easily available to the public. "We in India are yet to accept the concept of condom vending machines. In Delhi, on average, each vending machine dispenses only one packet of condoms a day. Right now, our aim is to make people aware of safe sex practices and to encourage them to use condoms. For this, easy access to condoms is essential," said Gaurav Jain, project leader (technical support) of condom promotion, Naco.
Then again, Indians are more uptight about sex than Americans. It's quite an accomplishment if you really think about it. The Indians I met in college were some of the most prudish people I have ever met in my life. So India is still trying to push the condoms to the masses with witty commercials such as these;
Ah, the things that Kumar has been doing since he was written off the show on House.. What won't you do and where's Harold and Kumar go to White Castle III? I want to see Neil Patrick Haris get drunk again!
And then there's this musical number which really puts into question what I'm missing out with working on films in the United States when I should seriously be getting into the Bollywood scene.
Maybe it's just because they have a hedonistic-primitive culture that encourages shameless promiscuity. Perhaps it's time to outsource penis enlargement spam... Though, worse of all is that Indian commercial acting is even further behind us than condom use.
If they want to encourage condom use, perhaps they should make smaller curry scented condoms. It wont hurt if their women trimmed their bushes and showered once in a while. I know they're catching up with us on the Film making front, how about you follow suit with the grooming tips down under.
So with all this confusion, how can you really know what size of condoms you really need anyway? On the box it's always bullshit like LARGE, EXTRA LARGE and MAGNUM or whatever. It's not like Condoms want to advertise that they're for NORMAL size penises because when you're in the check out you want to make sure you're showing off that the old lady or college drop out scanning your products will judge you and never want to have sex with you if you have a "Size normal" condom package. If you get a painful constructed feeling when you put one on then you probably need to go up a size. Personally, I get the best fit out of the plastic bags from the grocery store.
Yup, India is a fascinating place. I was sorta shocked at how HIV is transmitted through mostly sexual contact in India. Since HIV/AIDS is mostly transmitted through blood based contact outside of Africa.
The overwhelming majority of infections in India occur through heterosexual sex; women now account for around 39% of adult infections. In many cases married men have acted as 'bridge populations' between vulnerable populations and general populations; women who believe they are in monogamous relationships are becoming infected because their husbands have had multiple sexual partners. Often social norms restrict women from making decisions about their sexual relations, contributing to their vulnerability to HIV. Studies have shown that intimate sexual partner violence is also a risk factor for women.
For some reason I suspect that the patriarchy is at work here. Maybe they should really get on top of that whole condom use there. Small penises and all. Though I do have some Indian friends, so perhaps I'll toss in that Indian penis sizes have doubled in the last three years. So you ladies not going for Sanjay because you fear of not being able to feel anything... well then you're silly because remember that your female hole can only really feel stuff three or four inches deep before it gets lost in the darkness.
But let's roll with the idea that the Indians are just jealous of the Chinese surpassing them in penis size (and just about everything else)
And remember Americans, the average French penis is 1.2 inches longer than the average US penis. Yup, now I'm starting to see why we hate on French so much...
Penis envy.
I'm not worried, I have Spaniard ancestry and we all know how well endowed they were to rape and pillage just about every culture. :smug:
With the way that society views of sex these days becoming more liberal, these two news pieces are pretty strange while at the same time being something I'd write about. Which is double talk since I generally write about strange things. Thus the whole Collection of Odd, ruh rauh.
BEIJING: China's official media and outspoken bloggers on Friday protested over a German advert promoting the use of condoms which shows revolutionary leader Mao Zedong as a sperm cell alongside Adolf Hitler and Osama bin Laden.
The Communist Party's People's Daily devoted a page to the storm, quoting internet commentaries which called for the makers of the advert to apologize to China.
The Global Times newspaper said advertising agency Grey Worldwide, which made the safe sex advert for Doc Morris Pharmacies, had sent a letter of apology to the Chinese consulate in Frankfurt.
The campaign showing Mao, Hitler and Bin Laden as human spermatozoids has sparked a debate in China and among international blogging. Not all Chinese appear to agree with the official line of anger.
"I am a former worker who is now 70. I have thought about it a lot and I still cannot understand why these people defend Mao so strongly," said one comment on the sina.com website.
Last year, French car maker Peugeot Citroen apologized for using an advert in Spain which showed Mao as a cross-eyed old man.
dsad mao sperm coming out of zedong
For a country trying to control its population through the limitation of one child per household, the whole idea of condoms should be something they warmly embrace. Something they can wrap themselves around.. Something that will... Ok, I ran out of puns here. You get the idea.
So condoms may prevent the reproduction of evil dictators. Who knows? Maybe it'll just help out everything in the long run. Especially when all is said and done, this could be of use. So what if they're using the whole "Evil" stuff. I'm sure if they used Bush as a sperm example everyone would be at agreement with this situation.
So what other evil sperm did they use for this ad, you ask?
Which is odd because I would imagine that sperm to be covered by more cloths..
Now that's the sperm that doesn't need condoms. When it sees that it's not the one chosen for the egg it'll just get into a bunker and kill itself. Har har.
Moving on to more things that blow... or at least do the job for you..
Has your girlfriend ever explained her complete hatred of going down you? Well perhaps you're just using the wrong tools. Perhaps you should take into consideration the Blow Job Mouth Aid is here to rescue your situation. Careful now, that link may not be safe for work. But if you're reading this blog at work, you should be fired. So what does the Doctor behind this piece of shit equipment has to say about the matter?
Dr. Joe said:
A 47 year old female patient came to see me a few years back. I made her a beautiful set of upper and lower dentures (she had no teeth). They looked and fit great!! She left the office satisfied. The very next day she returned to the office unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her teeth moved when she gave her boyfriend a blow-job the night before. I joked with her and told her to take out her teeth - that he would love that. She said that he didn't know that she didn't have teeth. So I took the dentures from her and made a soft custom night guard to cover the teeth. The next day she called me and was very happy.
It worked. Blowguard™ novelty toys for couples was born!
The only type of woman whom I could imagine having dentures at 47 and complaing to the dentist about how they interfere with her BJ givings is some janked meth addict living in a trailer park
I did not think I'd see a product that could actually make me avoid blowjobs. Amazingly enough, this product makes me not want head at all. The use and care video is one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever watched. That poor girl's face during the money shot isn't going to be moving any product any time soon.
It's essentially a lower jaw mouth guard with a vibrating piece at the end that sticks out the mouth. Seems like it would feel pleasurable, though its the same concept as a vibrating cock-ring condom. And really, you're not feeling anything other than a little jiggling motion that is pretty pointless.
The reason why old people are still having sex.
I don't know how it supposedly stops the movement: If you adhere it to the fake teeth they are not being anchored and they would still move. So, her problem wasn't solved.
In the video however the woman looked like she didn't have any lower teeth when she put it in, but the woman he originally made it for didn't want her boyfriend to know she had no teeth. So, if you use it without teeth he still didn't solve her other problem. I'm not really sure how he actually helped her like he says. How about more testimonial?
We are an older couple that wears dentures. We are active in the swingers lifestyle. The blowguard fits over my dentures and when Im giving other men blowjobs, my teeth don't move.
Thank you! Howard and Elaine T. California
Oh dear. Oh god. Why are people old enough to have full sets of dentures still active in the swinging community? I don't know about you but I would never take part in the swinging community. When I think of swingers I think of a couple of people stuck in 70's haircuts sitting in a hot tub being all creepy like with a ton of chest hair. Yeah, not what I need to picture.
I know I'm over thinking this but let's get the break down here so everyone knows the score on this matter. The dentist says his patient has no teeth, so he makes her dentures. The VERY NEXT DAY he tells her to take them out when giving a BJ. But she says her boyfriend doesn't know she has no teeth.
So a.) She's been dating her boyfriend for less than 24 hours, b.) she had other dentures that were so wrecked she needed new ones (and the boyfriend never noticed the difference), or c.) bullshit.
Nitpicking, yes, but these details bother me. And with that disturbing discovery, I'm calling it a night.
In an ongoing series of blogs about the upcoming Watchmen movie, I'd be a fool not to jump on this news piece. Late last year, comic purest were trying to figure out if we would see Dr. Manhattan's penis in the film. The answer was a Yes and we settled that. No worries folks, you'll get to see a giant blue wang on March 6th.
I still find it odd that little kids could check this book out at their library and as a buddy of mine told me he saw, little kid have the book in their Dora the Explorer backpack. I'm sure a lot of the themes of the book are lost on them. The whole cold war era scare and the idea that the lines between what makes one the good guy and one the bad guy is blurred. Oh.. not to mention the whole huge blue penis thing...
A little back story. Dr. Manhattan's real name is Jon Osterman. He was in an accident that trapped him in an intrinsic field separator. His atoms were smashed, but, eventually, methodically, he reconstructed himself and came back as a blue skinned superhuman who can do anything because he has a quantum consciousness that reveals time, space, and matter as they are in atomic detail. The short of it is that he's pretty much a God among men.
But the real question that you should be asking should be "But is he a God in the sack?" Which leads us to a rather unusual movie promo. For any given movie you'll see a studio market it in very unique ways. They'll toss out beach balls for a summer movie or give you a random Doll if they're trying to promote a new show like Dollhouse. It's basically free crap that will get you to promote the movie in any way possible. Usually in the form of a free shirt or hat. It's just to get the buzz going on it.
When I found out that one of the promo items for the upcoming Watchmen film is the following thing, well, I'm left wondering if they know the target demographic. Yup. That's right.. the marketing department at Warner Brothers and Zach Snyder decided that it was a good idea to make a Watchmen condom promo. Remember, Watchmen is a 12 issue comic series from the 80's. I'm not sure if "Getting Laid" is in their pull list, if you catch my drift.
It may be a superhero film, but it's not for kids. It's rated R. So I don't think that is an issue or anything. I just find it very odd and very funny at the same time.
In one point of the book Dr. Manhattan is asking for a reason or at least some justification that the human race is worth saving. Well, I think we can all answer that one by pointing out that we have made Watchmen Condoms as the reason why Mankind is worth saving. Blue Penis.. that's why.
It's a little concerning considering one of the plot lines running in the book was the anyone close to or who had spent long amounts of time with Dr. Manhattan got cancer. Presumably because Dr. Manhattan is a walking nuclear conductor. So don't mind me if I raise my eye brow on wrapping my penis with this Dr. Manhattan condom. Should I warn my partner about this before they find out through some embarrassing television interview that previous lovers have gotten cancer from my rod?
Do you think that Manhattan's ability to synthesize matter led to some kind of prophylactic revolution? And would these condoms glow blue? If they did, I'd be really happy to try one out. "What happened to the American dream?" "You're lookin' at it!"
Nothing like a huge blue wang to get a movie off right
On the plus side, going to comic con dressed as Dr. Manhattan is going to be a lot easier. The whole "Paint your body blue" thing was alright till I realized I would have to paint my penis blue. That was the tough sale and it was holding me back. Now that I just need to slip a condom on my junk and it'll finish off the whole blue look, I'll have it easy!
I can't wait for the chance till someone ask why the Watchmen condom box is empty, I'll be ready to respond with "I did it Thirty-five minutes ago." Oh yeah.. I'm a huge nerd.. I know.
I'd like to take a moment to point out that in no place in this blog did I stoop down to the level of making a blue balls joke. But now that I mention it, at least my wang will match my nuts! ZING!
Once was a writer, tho, you see words to your left, so I guess I'm still that to some degree.
You can find my scribbles and mind ranting on this and various other places as a means to keep the creative, satirical and costco talk muscles worked out.
Was once apart of the tv industry, but I'm sure the NDA's are still in effect so let's move on from that. Now I spend my time slinging beer and keeping a building in one piece.
Posts
