Saturday, April 25, 2009

China Gets Anal - Doesn't Like Protection

Anal China Doesn't Like Protection - This Blows

With the way that society views of sex these days becoming more liberal, these two news pieces are pretty strange while at the same time being something I'd write about. Which is double talk since I generally write about strange things. Thus the whole Collection of Odd, ruh rauh.

China doesn't like the use of Mao in Condom ads.
BEIJING: China's official media and outspoken bloggers on Friday protested over a German advert promoting the use of condoms which shows revolutionary leader Mao Zedong as a sperm cell alongside Adolf Hitler and Osama bin Laden.

The Communist Party's People's Daily devoted a page to the storm, quoting internet commentaries which called for the makers of the advert to apologize to China.

The Global Times newspaper said advertising agency Grey Worldwide, which made the safe sex advert for Doc Morris Pharmacies, had sent a letter of apology to the Chinese consulate in Frankfurt.

The campaign showing Mao, Hitler and Bin Laden as human spermatozoids has sparked a debate in China and among international blogging. Not all Chinese appear to agree with the official line of anger.

"I am a former worker who is now 70. I have thought about it a lot and I still cannot understand why these people defend Mao so strongly," said one comment on the website.

Last year, French car maker Peugeot Citroen apologized for using an advert in Spain which showed Mao as a cross-eyed old man.


mao sperm coming out of zedong

For a country trying to control its population through the limitation of one child per household, the whole idea of condoms should be something they warmly embrace. Something they can wrap themselves around.. Something that will... Ok, I ran out of puns here. You get the idea.

So condoms may prevent the reproduction of evil dictators. Who knows? Maybe it'll just help out everything in the long run. Especially when all is said and done, this could be of use. So what if they're using the whole "Evil" stuff. I'm sure if they used Bush as a sperm example everyone would be at agreement with this situation.

So what other evil sperm did they use for this ad, you ask?

Which is odd because I would imagine that sperm to be covered by more cloths..

Now that's the sperm that doesn't need condoms. When it sees that it's not the one chosen for the egg it'll just get into a bunker and kill itself. Har har.

Moving on to more things that blow... or at least do the job for you..

Has your girlfriend ever explained her complete hatred of going down you? Well perhaps you're just using the wrong tools. Perhaps you should take into consideration the Blow Job Mouth Aid is here to rescue your situation. Careful now, that link may not be safe for work. But if you're reading this blog at work, you should be fired. So what does the Doctor behind this piece of shit equipment has to say about the matter?

Dr. Joe said:

A 47 year old female patient came to see me a few years back. I made her a beautiful set of upper and lower dentures (she had no teeth). They looked and fit great!! She left the office satisfied. The very next day she returned to the office unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that her teeth moved when she gave her boyfriend a blow-job the night before. I joked with her and told her to take out her teeth - that he would love that. She said that he didn't know that she didn't have teeth. So I took the dentures from her and made a soft custom night guard to cover the teeth. The next day she called me and was very happy.

It worked. Blowguard™ novelty toys for couples was born!

The only type of woman whom I could imagine having dentures at 47 and complaing to the dentist about how they interfere with her BJ givings is some janked meth addict living in a trailer park

I did not think I'd see a product that could actually make me avoid blowjobs. Amazingly enough, this product makes me not want head at all. The use and care video is one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever watched. That poor girl's face during the money shot isn't going to be moving any product any time soon.

It's essentially a lower jaw mouth guard with a vibrating piece at the end that sticks out the mouth. Seems like it would feel pleasurable, though its the same concept as a vibrating cock-ring condom. And really, you're not feeling anything other than a little jiggling motion that is pretty pointless.

The reason why old people are still having sex.

I don't know how it supposedly stops the movement: If you adhere it to the fake teeth they are not being anchored and they would still move. So, her problem wasn't solved.

In the video however the woman looked like she didn't have any lower teeth when she put it in, but the woman he originally made it for didn't want her boyfriend to know she had no teeth. So, if you use it without teeth he still didn't solve her other problem. I'm not really sure how he actually helped her like he says. How about more testimonial?

We are an older couple that wears dentures. We are active in the swingers lifestyle. The blowguard fits over my dentures and when Im giving other men blowjobs, my teeth don't move.

Thank you!
Howard and Elaine T. California

Oh dear. Oh god. Why are people old enough to have full sets of dentures still active in the swinging community? I don't know about you but I would never take part in the swinging community. When I think of swingers I think of a couple of people stuck in 70's haircuts sitting in a hot tub being all creepy like with a ton of chest hair. Yeah, not what I need to picture.

I know I'm over thinking this but let's get the break down here so everyone knows the score on this matter. The dentist says his patient has no teeth, so he makes her dentures. The VERY NEXT DAY he tells her to take them out when giving a BJ. But she says her boyfriend doesn't know she has no teeth.

So a.) She's been dating her boyfriend for less than 24 hours, b.) she had other dentures that were so wrecked she needed new ones (and the boyfriend never noticed the difference), or c.) bullshit.

Nitpicking, yes, but these details bother me. And with that disturbing discovery, I'm calling it a night.

No comments: