So because some boat-rats landed on the shores of America they decided to have some sort of feast after kissing the dirt below their feet. What they did next was thank the creator, lord and savior for getting them there.
In such tradition we now give thanks on this one thankful day off of work and with a table full of food. Well, that is if you can afford it. Which most everyone can, otherwise you at least have the option of taking advantage of other's guilt of having too much and you get a free meal down at the mission.
The point is, today you're suppose to give thanks. So in that tradition I need to think about what I should give thanks for..
Maybe I'm thankful that the Lord our God has helped we good people to hasten the descent of some 700 pequot Indians into the fiery pits of savage hell. But then again, I wont have the fun of getting together with family and celebrating the time our ancestors committed genocide since I'm neither white and my girlfriend's relatives came to America long after the Indians were wiped out.
Though that in itself is a reason to be thankful. I live in a country that allows me to dissent ineffectually. That and I grew up in an area with enough migrant workers working for slave wages to justify importing Mexican coke to all the local liquor markets.
I'm also thankful for pumpkin pies. Where else can you combine the ingredients of so many delicious things to make a wonderful, spiced custard-filled pastry that you can only enjoy during this season
I should give thanks that it is yet another year that I can proudly say that I have never watched one second of the god damn Thanksgiving Parade. Not once. Why? Who the fuck wakes up early on a work free, food filled day to watch hot air cartoons and pilgrims walking on the streets all in the name of capitalism.
Though BBC America is doing a Treksgiving TNG marathon. So perhaps I should be thankful for that. I guess it's a good way to set up counter programing to all the football fans.
I am most thankful to the turkey that died for the meal I'm going to eat. I can say that I don't have any guilt involved in the death and murder of a bird because I persistently hunted an elder turkey bull past its breeding years on a free range public land. Once it tired I stared deeply into its eyes and we made a connection. He nodded his head and I strangled it personally before weeping and saying a death prayer in its honor.
I see you, brother, and I thank you. Your spirit goes with God, your body stays behind to become part of the people.. the eaten way too much food people. Oh, don't mind me, I'm just jamming a fucking duck and a chicken into your anal cavity. Your spirit has already left, so it won't feel it.
I may be most thankful for all the free booze I will get. As it seems that most families buy the cheap bourbon to get that quarter cup full to put into the yams and other such novelty recipes leaving the left overs to whoever will have them.
I'm most thankful that I'm another year closer to death. Yes, that's right. I'm very thankful for the fact that eventually I will be dead.