Thursday, June 14, 2012

Kool-Aid Wars

Kool-Aid Wars

In the long history of strange and often bloody rivalries, there is typically some odd beginning to the feud. This next story, well, let's just say that it could be the start of the most retarded Hatfields & McCoys possible.
Two Detroit teens have been wounded after a gunfight broke out over what eyewitnesses say was an argument over who makes the best Kool-Aid.

The beverage-based battle took place Tuesday night in the city's Brightmoor neighborhood in front of an abandoned school building, according to WJPK-TV

"The initial argument, from my understanding, began over Kool-Aid," a witness told reporter Andrea Isom, who confirmed the story with Detroit officers.

The tongue-lashing increased in intensit until two of the men from the conflicting Kool-Aid crews started shooting each other.

However, neither shooter hit their intended mark, according to, which reported that two innocent bystanders, both 17, were hit by the stray bullets.

One victim was struck in the wrist and the other got a bullet in the rear.
Well.. that sure was something to start a war about. What gets me even more is that these dumb asses were so hyped up on sugar that they couldn't even aim right.

I have to wonder if high fructose corn syrup just causes retardation. I don't have any other way to explain it. Perhaps that it acts like a drug for these dumb fucks. Other than that, I just don't know what to say about this case other than have a really dumbfounded look to my face. Because, really. How the fuck does this even happen? It sounds like an onion article. In fact, it sounds too made up to even sound like an onion article.

I hope that you're all a little dumber because of this article. I know I am.

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