SHIT JUST GOT REAL! SO I AM SUSPENDING MY SHIT
Yo what is UP
So I figure you all know shit just got REAL in the election. That monster zombie dude pulled some move like in constantine when shit is goin totally wrong and so keanu reeve kills himself and freezes time and then the devil appears and keanu is like "yo lucifer you can have my soul but the gay dude got the spear of destiny in the pool and hes gonna fuck everything up." And then lucifer saves the day and puts everythin right and cleans shit up and then unfreezes time and keanu is cool.
This is basically what old dude who is makin Mrs. Palin into a VEep is doin'. Its called a metaphor. Look it up, dillweeds. He is gonna fuck up obanamas shit now with the help of george bush. The alliance cant be beat.
And like minds obviously think alike cuz I just thought up the same plan to deal with the stupid shit is runnin rampage in my life.
Let me tell you, too much drama is what you get from your babys mama.
First thing first, the ecomony is all fucked up. I dont know if yall been to alaska but shit is always like way too expensive so we get around that by gettin free money. Well shit is gettin too expensive so we need more free money, but the gaywads runnin this gay ass state are not hurryin up enough with the money. I dont know who the fuck is in charge of things right now but they need to fix that shit because a tim horton costs like 20 dollars.
Yo I rented the hulk from blockbuster and that shit was 9 dollars and that dont even make sense. How can the cost of a rental go up because of teh econmoy? they already bought that shit!
Thats nothin though because the economy problem is just something for bristol to bitch about. She is gettin hella fat and she is complainin too much. Shit with hotels spoiled her ass. after like two weeks sleepin in fine ass hotels in the lower 48 and doin bristol doggystyle on everythin includin this treadmill thing they put in one room that was badass we had in New York the bitch is spoiled
SHIT it IS fuckin tight as hell to get all the dominoes pizzas you can eat and just call up and they will bring you a beer without checkin id. shit yea that rules, but you gotta come back down from cloud 9 some time. Got to face reality. And now bristol aint facin shit because not only is her fat ass back in alaska AND stayin with me in my apartment that Mrs. palin bought me in anchorage, but she is also takin care of trog.
What THE fuck?!??
when we gave that baby to mrs. palin she was all like "this is gonna be great trunk can be my baby now because everbody in shit dumb alaska loves a fuckin mommy." well shit i love a fuckin mommy too if shes on the business end of my dick and has huge titties, but now she is pawnin the baby off on bristol an me because her back was sore or some shit.
Some shit i am just realizing about bitches & babies since bristol and tramp moved in. especially bitches around babies with their hormones out and shit.
So i take it outside but then this one secret security dude is like "son u better put that shit out or I gotta call the regular police" and I was gonna be all like "snitches get stitches motherfucker now what" and then he was flashin iron in his pocket so I know that nigga is a coward. I will give him his some day. hell be standin there lookin for snipers or whatever and I will just bust in on his ass with a pipe and knock him crazy. knock his ass retarded like little dope fiend my nigga trench
The other thing when a bitch gets pregnant she is cool for a while like you can do her without jimmy hats and just blow loads wherever, but just wait later she starts gettin diarea and is takin craps and fartin at night and she eats like NON STOP I was like slow the fuck down michael phelps you gonna win eight gold medals with all these frozen pretzels and fuckin ice cream you are tearin through
Bitch is like "YOU DONT RESPECT ME" and im like "BITCH dont talk to me about RESPECT I am lettin you give birth instead of throwin your ass down some stairs and you fuckin RECOGNIZE I put bristol on my finger even though like ten strippers would suck my dick right now if I called them"
Then a carollory of that rule is bitch cries any time you say anything or throw anythign at a wall. shit and then she cries and the retard baby cries and then the security secrets guy starts poundin on the door yellin "is everythin okay in there" and I'm like SHIT MOTHERFUCKER it would be if you could calm the fuck down you woke up the fuckin baby with all that poundin on shit.
So that is IT. I am through. I am not puttin up with any more of this shit. I am officially supsendin my shit. I am just gonna fuckin suspend and straighten shit out. WHATEVER it takes. I mean WHATEVER.
I will grab a bitch and drive her into the woods if I gotta. I will throw a brick at some punk in a suit with a hearin aid listenin to shit. I KNOW YOU ARE LISTENIN TO THIS SECURITY SECRETS DUDE. Hackin in with your robot ear listenin in on my private thoughts. Right now Im thinkin abotu a middle finger you see that??
Right now im on my friend bodies couch. Plus side is I can smoke chronic whenever and when the baby cries its not mine so I dont have to do shit I can just yell for it to shut the fuck up and go back to drinkin.
Down side is my phone is blowin up non stop with mrs. palins people tellin me i gotta come home and i gotta take care of bristol and its my patriotic duty to watch that stupid baby roll around like a worm. nigga cant even crawl he so stupid. Why would I want to watch that shit? It is boring as hell. He never rolls anywhere cool like into the kitchen to microwave me some frozen pretzels. No, dumb little faggot rolls up against the couch and his face is up against it and bristol comes in yellin and shit about how he prolly cant breathe SO WHAT?
Maybe he would breathe better if he could SMOKE UP. loosen up them lil lungs.
I mean GOD DAMN. What the fuck is up with that?
I will probably have to unsuspend my shit eventually. Like get back in the game. After all when mrs. palin turns into a veep shes gonna make me baron or whatever. I was lookin on the internet at scepters and there are some pretty sweet ones. I'm totally debatin which one to get.
Like my favorite is a snake that is goin up between the titties of this naked chick and then on top of her is a big ass skull and the snake is all curled around it and shit. Bad fuckin ass. But then there is this other one that is just the naked chick but her tities are bigger and there is more detail on her cooch.I think thatll be mine.
Ill let you know what i pick.
catch you fags on the flip side.