Wednesday, December 12, 2018



It's a common piece of knowledge that I both like drinking and beating children with switches. Okay, that came out a little wrong, but still, the festive Krampus day is one in which a goat like monster, who is bff with ol' Saint Nick, goes around and beats the shit out of bad boys and girls with a fucking switch. That holiday falls smack dab on the same day that we are celebrating the fact that congress passed something good and repealed the prohibition of alcohol.

This is a problem. More so now that the days past us by almost a week. Look, I have been busy, alright. Look, Krampus is something you know about because the use of him in a lot of media over the last few years should mean I don't have to explain it. Repeal day is history for our nation, because, while it did complicate things more with each state coming up with their own alcohol laws that even to this day seem a little wonky. Like the ABV cap a brewery can sell in Utah, vs what they can make and sell in other states. Or how for the longest time you could only buy alcohol by the case in Pennsylvania. Also, it had laws created for the consumption of alcohol to make it that there was an age restriction that prior to prohibition there was no real set standard of who you could serve.

Anyhow, you know the two things, but for me, I love them both. I love drinking and I love creepy shit during Christmas. So there you have it. What is a person like me suppose to do?  Pick one? Who am I, some parent picking their favorite child? This is all really complicated and well, I just want to celebrate alcohol and creepy shit, why you gotta put them both on the same day. I guess Krampus came first.

My typical reaction is to go heavy on one on odd years and heavy on the other the even years. It is a bit of a King Solomon option. Well, I guess not since he wanted to cut the baby in half vs just cutting it in 60/40 portions. So I guess that doesn't apply here. But yeah, I guess this year it was the even year, so I did the drinking.

What did I do? I went to all the spots that had $1 Old Fashioned's and got myself a little buzz going. I still hope to one day actually make it to Austria for some serious Krampus celebrating in the streets even if it'll be cold as fuck. I guess I'll plan that for the next two odd years or something.

But how about we just combine the two and drunkenly beat chil.... okay, that is going nowhere and probably not worth the effort of defending bad comedy. But you get what I mean, the two don't seem to go hand in hand because who the fuck wants to get drunk and see a giant person in a costume that looks like a demon coming at you. Seriously some scary shit in itself, let alone on some alcohol.

No idea how the two can just work together better, which is odd given the nature of both, but whatever.

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