CALVIN AND HOBBES - 2018
What would Calvin and Hobbes be in 2018? Just think about it for a second. Calvin would probably be addicted to Fortnite and internet porn. Hobbes would just be some sort of Japanese phone app where you raise a tiger adn teach it how to date and increase its bust size.
Yeah, sad, but very much true. It was a different time back then. Kids actually went outside and played instead of just being glued to their phones. You know by now, Calvin has been banned from every Minecraft server known possible and his vocab is all about telling other's how fat their mother is. Wait, the more I think about it, he's probably on an incel server so Susie can't join in. He's one of those incel's that totally goes to comic con and rides a suitcase that has a motor in it.
Then again, Calvin's perception of Hobbes would be medicated into oblivion in this day and age. I mean, okay, I'm being mean. I guess this post should have some rules to it, though, that would go against everything Calvinball stands for.
Look, all I'm saying is that even medicated Calvin is okay. You realize that while you may be sad about your childhood being ruined, those pills are the reason why a 31 year old Calvin isn't going "fucking BULLSSSSSHIIIIIIITTTT!" at management in his job, walking uot and then dying of fentanyl over the weekend.
Yeah, this got pretty dark pretty fast. Know why? Because I grew up on Calvin and Hobbes and that is what happens to you. The comic had some dark twist to it. Besides, at least Watterson was smart with one thing and famously was against monetizing his creation and so a bunch of people ended up making money off of it with bootleg stuff instead. Also, this was a time when nobody actually remembers that social satire or the use of symbolism was done in a good way.
In reality, this was just another way to say "damn kids these days, GET OFF MY LAWN!" with some comedy. You fell for it. Congrats. Or should I say, thanks. You just read all my dribble and yet you're still here. Maybe you enjoyed it ? Maybe you just were bored out of your mind. Who the fuck knows. I just have to remember that kids still play outside or something.
Though perhaps some kids could post in here a response to verify that. I'm just not sure.