Saturday, December 22, 2018



Seriously, don't fucking buy that eggnog you see on the shelf at the store. that's pure garbage you shouldn't even dare put near your mouth. Not when there's a much better way to get the true effect of eggnog by making it yourself you lazy fuck!

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be insulting you, but it makes me wonder why people in this day and age aren't just making their own eggnog, it's so easy to do and it taste so much better than anything you can buy at the store.


  • 4 egg yolks
  • 1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon
  • 1 pint whole milk
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1 1/4 ounces bourbon
  • 1 1/4 ounces dark rum
  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
  • 4 egg whites


In the bowl of a stand mixer beat together the egg yolks and 1/3 cup sugar until the yolks lighten in color and the sugar is completely dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon, rum, and nutmeg and stir to combine.

Place the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With the mixer still running gradually add the 1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Gently fold the egg whites into the mixture. Chill and serve.

Unless you're a goddamn communist, you better like Eggnog. I mean, if you're mexican you can prefer Rompope. Or, you know, just assume that Eggnog sounded liked the best idea until you come to the conclusion that you can just drink the whiskey out of the bottle. 

Speaking of which, I have several of the aged eggnogs I have made over the past years. Yes, years. and I plan on doing another big batch to age this year, but man, those smooth the fuck out so well that it's a crime to not just finish them all.

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