Sunday, December 9, 2018



Look, I'm the fun police. You kids know it's past 9pm and the city park is now closed. You read the sign when you walked in here. Don't act like you didn't have enough warning that the park would be closed at 9pm regardless if there's any means to "close" up this park. Yeah, it may not have any walls or fences, because it's an open field park, but you know it's now closed!

No, I don't care if it's still light out. Closed is closed. That's the meaning of closed. Do you want that we change the meaning of the word closed just so you can continue playing? Now pack in your shit you little bastards, Hey, I saw that! Now you gotta leave all the cans behind. The city will come out tomorrow and clean it up for you. Party's over, you little shits. Let's not turn this park curfew into a ticket that you have to show up to court for. I bet your parents wouldn't want that - Oh, what? You're 34? I'm sure they'll especially not care for that then.

Do you not realize that this park is for gay buttsex and heroin use after 9pm. The curfew is the curfew for a reason. You wouldn't want to be exposed to the horrors that is homosexual parading of sexuality, would you? Take yourself and your kids home at once.

And no, you can't just go hang out with the hobos near that burning trash can over under the bridge by the body of water in this park. I don't know how it got here either, believe me, we're in a landlocked area. How or why there's a body of water in this park is beyond me. But those hobos are clearly dangerous and you may think I'm the fun police, but there's no policing fun when you're robbed of the four bucks in your pocket so that a hobo can go buy some cheap hooch and drink it out of  a paper bag. 

.So for the safety of yourself and the fun that you can have tomorrow, keep it moving people. Don't worry, that BBQ grill will put itself out. But hot coals go in the metal bin, come on now. I may be the fun police, but I know a thing or two about simple common curtsy.

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