Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Weighing In On The Holidays

Weighing In On The Holidays

It's that time of year where you start eating like crazy all sorts of things that will go straight to your hips. On average, 51% of your annual weight gain happens between Thanksgiving through New Years Eve. That is all before the New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds. Way to go, you just gained 7lbs!

Why is this? Well, the holidays cause you to compulsively socialize with people... who, well, you really otherwise would choose to ignore. often at parties or family functions that just cause a whole lot of stress. A way that people choose to react to stress is to, of course, get comfort food as it helps you forget all about that hardship.

You also have to spend a lot more money on people when you really don't have all that much money to spend in the first place with this economy. The quest for the perfect present is one that causes a lot of stress as well as the fact that you don't have all that cash to begin with, dealing with the crowds.. All in all, you're pretty much going to be losing your mind and burying yourself in some chocolate to get away from it all.

Let's be realistic here. Thanksgiving is going to be a lost cause for you and everyone else. You are going to be encouraged to get seconds and thirds. This is stacked on top of the fact that you have a lot of food in front of you, you're going to over eat on Thanksgiving. There's no question about that.

Once you forget about Thanksgiving, just go at it with a pro-active approach to defeat the potential of gaining weight this season. I have no idea what I weigh right now, but I'm not going to join the masses and gain 51% of my annual weight this year. If anything, I'm going to do everything in my power to LOSE weight. I will weigh myself later today and post it. Hey, I'm no lady and I'm sure putting myself on blast like this will only serve as encouragement to lose it.

You can join me and do a daily weigh in and track how much you gain or lose through the 35 days between Thanksgiving and New Years. Keep a chart handy. It's very important that you have a visual reminder of your progress or catch yourself before you start slipping. It may keep track of your progress, but it's also emphasizes long-term, positive goals and maintaining personal health. The ol' saying in Weight Watchers is "Never let a lapse become a collapse," While it may sound like some buzz words, it does make sense.

Don't let the fact that it's cold and perfect time for some comfort food become a major Achilles heel to your potential healthy weight loss. Especially if you are going to make the generic resolution in January to lose the weight, it's better to start now. You can also cut out red meat out of your diet. Not only is it less of a strain on your arteries, but it will make your cum taste better. Who cares about that, right? I'm sure your girlfriends will appreciate it. And if you think my suggestions are silly, perhaps you can take a note from this wacky lady who has some helpful hints;

Who, for some reason thinks that rice is key. Even though rice is pretty heavy on the carbs. I mean, it's no fade diet or anything, but maybe the key here is simple common sense eating. I mean, let's take the following image to see how much the average American eats in Calories per day:

I'm not sure how you can justify that supersized meal. I mean, you have to be eating a lot of Baconators per week to get to that level of consumption. Just look at the nutritional facts about it with this handy link

I have to say, the triple baconator left me mesmerized. I'm not sure if it's because of the sheer ridiculousness or because deep inside I want to try one... and then die. I remember back when i ate fast food regularly and I saw Super size Me, I didn't understand why that guy threw up after eating a super sized McDonalds meal, I thought he was being overly dramatic/feigning it, but now after eating normal-human-sied portions for years I am just appalled at the thought of eating something like a triple baconator. I feel like vomiting just looking at that thing.

I mean, Jesus fucking christ, it's like two days worth of calories and a week's worth of fat, and the meat is literally predigested parts-slurry from growth-hormone-ballooned fairy animals. Fuck! My dinner tonight was like, maybe 360-370 calories and I'm being generous. How does one eat literally 10x that in one day?

The answer, of course, is Soda. Two cans of Coca Cola run you 320 calories themselves. I used to drink a lot of it. Almost a liter of non-diet Pepsi a day. I can't fathom to even consider going back to that lifestyle. I see people who get chemically dependent on energy and caffeine drinks that they get bad headaches at this point if they don't have the daily fix.

Here's the basics. Seldom ever drink soft drinks and avoid eating from fast food places and go to the gym or get some healthy exercise once or twice a week for an hour. Congrats, you are now living healthier than 90% of America.

Oh, are you offended, you 90% of Americans who are eating way too much? I know, I know. It's hard to maintain. Between your Modern Warfare 2, Episodes of South Park and the rigorous demands of working at Staples, I'm surprised you have even 20 minutes a week to yourself.

Oh? what was that? You literally get to work at 6am and finish at midnight and only earn $2/hr and don't have the time to cook and fast food is your ONLY option? I know, I must have been living in my fantasy world of bulk rice and beans. Cooking a simple meal with inexpensive bulk meals SEEMS like it's cheap and healthy, but you forget the TIME costs... it literally takes upwards of 45 minutes for some of these so called "simple" meals, do you have any idea how busy my life is, Javier? I have 15 KIDS for gods sake, constantly crying about being hungry, fast food is seriously a gift from god!

And a Microwave at work? I'm sorry we can't all work at some major television production company, Javi. Ebgame doesn't have those luxury items, so precooked meals are literally NOT an option, please stop suggesting those. The only other REASONABLE option would be that I eat at subway, but please keep in mind that subway is a whole 4 blocks away. So getting there, eating and getting back in my 30 minute lunch break would be quite the feat indeed. Does anyone know if A&Ws is somewhat healthy if I'm only getting diet soda?

See how silly that sounds? I get the fact that fatty foods are cheaper than eating healthy. Just look at the price of a bag full of frozen meat patties versus a bag full of frozen veggies. If you want to point the finger at someone, it may not be the consumer - they're just caught up like pawns in a bigger game.

So how about you stop being that pawn and start owning up to your own eating habits? If there was ever any time to rebel against these habits, it would be in this time of the year when it will effect you the most.

Then again, you can always just give into over eating and stuff your mouth with some of Paula Dean's deep fried butter balls. Want something to go with your fried butter balls? How about a double chocolate gooey butter cake y'all.

Though, before I judge America too harshly, let's see the graph again and break it down. It gets its info from the WHO. The WHO says it gets its info from FAOSTAT, which is the statistical food organization of the UN. You can look through the FAOSTAT consumption statistics here:

According to their FAQ, FAOSTAT's glossary defines dietary energy consumption per person as:
Dietary energy consumption per person refers to the amount of food, expressed in kilocalories (kcal) per day, available for each individual in the total population during the reference period. Caloric content is derived by applying the appropriate food composition factors to the quantities of the commodities. Per person supplies are derived from the total amount of food available for human consumption by dividing total calories by total population actually partaking of the food supplies during the reference period. However, per person figures represent only the average supply available for the population as a whole and do not necessarily indicate what is actually consumed by individuals. The actual food consumption may be lower than the quantity shown as food availability depending on the magnitude of wastage and losses of food in the household, e.g. during storage, in preparation and cooking, as plate-waste or quantities fed to domestic animals and pets, thrown or given away.

So it's a little bit of a myth busted. Your average American may not be eating 3767 in calories a day. Your average American is probably only eating 2,600 calories and then throws away enough to feed sub Saharan Africa. In other words, Cheer up!

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