It's pretty simple. Dexter is a show about a serial killer. He's played by Michael C. Hall and I suppose this is a stretch for him to deal with dead people. I mean, talk about acting stretches. It's been going on for a couple of seasons now. Season 2 and 3 weren't as great as season 1. That much is a fact. This last season has really been great.
John Lithgow has come in as the Trinity Killer, someone who shows Dexter that they are a bit similar and that he could learn a lot about daily life through their unknown serial killer similarities. It has reached some intense points but it seems that tonight's episode will continue that and may give us some resolution... maybe.
I know one thing for sure though, there's one thing that wont give you blue balls.. Porn! Wait, no. You're not actually having sex, so porn actually gives you nothing but blue balls. Apparently there's a Dexter porn parody titled "Dexxxter" (Yeah, you may not want to open that link at work) And a little blurb about it;
Join sex crime investigator, Dexxxter Whoregan (Nikki Rhodes) as she investigates some of Miami’s sexiest and raunchiest cases. Adult stars Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweets, Kya Tropic, Lynx and more perform in some steamy scenes in this parody on the Showtime hit, Dexter. Fans of the original show will appreciate the attention to detail, and hardcore porn lovers will surely get off on this hot feature!
Along with "Dexxxter Whoregan" there is also a "Sergeant Strokes". I've seen just the intro, and they recreate the Dexter intro pretty well. But then again, I'm not sure that qualifies it for a good porn award. Besides, I heard it's a real let down. Isn't that a shame. All that pumping up and no push behind it.
Here's the prologue;
"Hi, my name is Dexxxter. Dexxxter Whoregan. The extra X's are for sex. I don't know what made me what I am, but whatever it was, it left a very horny place inside me."
But this isn't a new thing. Porn parodies have been around since the dawn of.. porn. It's a way to get you in the door. But then again, Nikki Rhodes should be enough for that, am I right, boys? Does anyone know if there is one for Battlestar Galactica?
I guess this one has one advantage over the show - It doesn't feature John Lithgow's naked ass. Which was terrifying the couple of times it was on Showtime. Thanks again, Showtime.. ugh.
No, this isn't a repeat even though I'm getting ready for comic con. This is just another example of how Sandra Lee is one of my favorite train wreck of a Food Network program to watch and freeze frame. Sandra Lee is one of those Food Network stars that I really don't want to anything she ever makes because she really can't cook. But at the same time I don't hate her like I do Rachael Ray. That bitch has got to get shanked cause she's filled with EVOOL.
Sandra lee, on the other hand.. I can't really blame her. She's a drunk... a crazy one at that. Maybe that's why she keeps on doing these things on camera. I mean.. just look at this. She's teasing all those male viewers of the Food Network. You know, all three of them..
Why hello, what do you have in your hand there?
Oh dear god! Naughty naughty girl, you!
Now that face.. yeah, she's getting into it.
Almost finnnnnished...
Then she has the nerve to eat an apple pie on the air?
This one is just too fucking easy
Now that's a satisfied face right there.
"I have this friend that I keep in my nightstand, it helps me to fall asleep at night"
There you have it folks.. Sandra Lee sexing up food network with food porn.
It's Valentines Day.... Let's celebrate the death of a saint who kept marrying things even though he was told not to. Most of all, it's Christmas for women. At least that's what my friend told me when I let him know I had no plans for this day. He was surprised and told me I should "Go along with the program." and "Just get her roses or something."
I bet this is the same mentality that the Nazis used... Yes, that's right. I just said that. I'm not going to be a mindless follower, am I? So this is Christmas for women? Huh? I thought Christmas was only a month and a half ago. Then I asked what Easter was, besides my Birthday every couple of years. "Christmas for Kids", he replied.
So let me get this straight -Women can't wait more than two months to get Christmas II but kids can wait four months to get a second fill of getting freebies? Shit, Guys wait a whole seven months before they get Christmas II in the form of 4th of July and the ability to blow shit up.
Don't get me wrong. I'm planning on showing some sign of my affection to the special people in my life today. I'll just save the flowers for my Mother. I already spread around some Valentines crap (Jones Cola) to most of my friends of both genders. But I like to think that I've shown my feelings on days that aren't Feb 14th to make them feel Speshul. I'm really tempted to relax on Valentines day watching some really shitty Sci-fi movie laughing my ass off thinking of what last minute Birthday gift I should give my sister.
But for those Women who do want this to be Christmas II: Electric Boogaloo, I have to wonder if this book about what is Porn for women has any truth to it.
I bet this is making all you women gush. So much that the person nearest to you is saying "I'll have what she's having!" Or... maybe not.
At least they aren't marked up $20 bucks like they are today.
Pro tip: Don't get into a relationship with a retard who can't use google map.
What next? He's going to sit down to pee? PUUUUSSSSSSSSY!
Stupid book. Football season already ended like two weeks ago.
So this made me wonder what would be the equivalent of terribly exaggerated stereotype in what men would consider porn.
So... where's the dipstick to check the fluids? Ba-da-doom!
Yup. Seems about right
See, I'm even too lazy and apathatic to even continue this mocking tone towards Valentines day. I really can't think of anything else. I mean, why not just come right out with it.. Porn for guys usually doesn't need an oil change and certainly doesn't have anything to do with putting the toilet seat down. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with just busting these out...
US sports fans in Arizona got a surprise when their TV coverage of American football's Super Bowl was interrupted by a pornographic film.
Tucson-based KVOA-TV said it was "dismayed and disappointed" after some cable viewers had their match coverage disrupted towards the end of the game. The company said the material was only seen by viewers of one cable network. "KVOA will investigate what happened and make sure our viewers get answers," company president Gary Nielsen said.
"When the NBC feed of the Super Bowl was transmitted from KVOA to local cable providers and through over-the-air antennas, there was no pornographic material," he added. Comcast, the cable company whose viewers saw the material, said it was investigating. Local media outlets reported that they received calls from furious viewers.
The clip showed a woman unzipping a man's trousers, followed by a graphic act between the two.I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up," viewer Cora King told the Arizona Daily Star."Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out."
The interruption happened just after the last touchdown by the Arizona Cardinals, who lost the match to the Pittsburgh Steelers.
I like to believe that this was a bit of a premature dick slap in the face to the Steelers by an overzealous Cardinals fan. It's these kinds of thing that makes these events worth watching. Too bad it wasn't nationwide.
I dunno, guys. I'm gonna write it off as a wardrobe malfunction. No one could hijack a broadcast signal these days, the last time was during the Max Headroom days. Now that was a signal broadcast to remember! I can hear it now on news reports "Tyler Durden was not available for comment."
I do not see the "graphic act" referred to in article. Unless shaking your dick back an forth is somehow an intimate two person game that I've just never been exposed to.
I know what you're thinking. Showing a dude's penis on-air during the Super Bowl is wrong. Their could be children watching. But it's kind of funny considering that a few years ago Fox was showing ads for not one, but TWO erectile dysfunction pills. This clip just showed that those pills worked!
They're happy they won.. but sad they missed it.
If Comcast gets fined, then they'd actually have a reason for jacking up prices for a change. Fortunately there is no one with the authority to fine Comcast for showing obscenity. Criminal obscenity charges could be leveled against them, but that seems pretty unlikely since they were presumably not actually the ones who intentionally chose to show the material.
I could imagine the reaction by those with Cox cable who didn't see this; "Nuts, I was recording it, but alas, I have Cox!" It should have been Cox cable that made this mistake. It would have been more satisfying to have someone tell me they saw a cock while watching Cox cable. Forget getting rickroll'ed, this seems like the latest internet craze, DickRoll.
I think the question we are all thinking here is what was that clip from and where can I get the rest of the video? Well, as your answer man I can deliver on that. It is from Club Jenna's "18 'n' Up Wet Poons."
Oh the good ol' days of superbowl bloopers
Really though, I guess the Super Bowl can't get around nudity during it's broadcast whether it happens on stage during the halftime show or not. I guess in a couple of years we're due for full on penetration during the game.
This probably caused quite a stir in the 14-60 year old male crowd watching with their wives/girlfriends/parents/grandchildren who panicked in the notion that their computer porn somehow made its way on to their television. That must have been the most terrifying half minute ever.
What's hilarious is that there are at least ten seconds before we actually see his junk where it's obvious what's going on and any responsible parent would have turned off the damn TV. The wife and kids must have thought it was another racy Superbowl commercial coming up.
Either way I still appreciate the humor in this. Some dude will undoubtedly be fired
It's Thursday and I have nothing. NOTHING, I tell you! I haven't had any time to write but that's not to say I don't have ideas to flesh out. I just haven't finished them, I tells you. So that means you get more porn related product placement in here.
Coming soon, actual written out fun filled soap box related humor! Old comics are pretty wrong
Squeal like a ... chewing gum?
First he wears no pants.. Now he's doing this? BAD DONALD, BAD!
A warning to ships everywhere.
New meaning to "There's no crying in Baseball"
Chocked full of nuts! or at least FROM nuts.
Taking it ol' school. HARRRY' YOURE A WIZZZZAARRRDD!
.... Well thats not subtle at all. This one's a give me since wrestling's full of gayness
Where's the frequent buyer cards for these?
Batman, Batman, Batman.. So you die and I honor you like this?
His Utility belt isn't his ultimate weapon.
Well that's just also wrong.
Dora sure needs to do some exploring.
Get down on your knees and praise.. whoever this god is.
Slow and steady....
It's going to be awkward to have him go door to door telling the neighbors he has a sex crime on his record.
Drink it up!
Where to mount it is the real question.
It's bound to get messy.
Shocking!
A preview of things to come: Dodger talk, Newspaper not fit to print, Fast Food Gone Wrong and Jugs, Headlights, Sweater Puppies and Melons.
Bettie Page died last month at the ripe old age of 85. She left behind the rift in the sexual acceptance in our media. While we playfully allowed it to seep into our society in a sort of acceptable level, even having time square be filled with seedy theaters filled with pornography, our society has backed off from allowing it entirely in. As is evidence of Time Square now being a Disneyland type of tourist trap.
The question on Who actually pays for porn anymore shouldn't really be questioned. I'm sure there's plenty of suckers out there who... well.. I guess don't know how to use computers? I dunno. I'm sure there's plenty of people who still enjoy ordering their porn off mail order and getting it in some non-discrete black or brown paper bag. Or perhaps they like wearing the trench coat to the local "Le Sex Shoppe" to buy whatever they're craving.
Break down on who's downloading porn... Damn South Korea, play some Starcraft, will you?
With the ease of getting anything at your finger tips with just the mashing of your keyboard buttons it shouldn't come as a surprise that the pirating of porn is at a new time high. Or that it's finally come to the attention of those who petty their smut. So are you ready for a fight that isn't very sexy, nor does it contain pillows. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls leeeeetttttssss get reeeeeeeeeeeaady to Ruuuuuuuuumble!
In one corner we have Vivid Entertainment. To some degree, it's a respectable adult entertainment company. They crank out many videos a year and follow whatever guidelines there is to follow in the field of.. pornography. In the other corner we have You Porn. It's pretty much the Youtube for porn. I suppose that Rule 36 is in effect there.
Either way that link is way to fucking long to write out. It's just Vivid vs Youporn going at it because Vivid wants to get its material of a free porn channel. Seems that people are getting wise to this internet thing and, well, free porn on this screen and box thing is starting to appeal to people.
High Quality Porn or Low Quality Buffy Episode (Season1)
Seems that the porn industry is losing cash left and right. It looks like not many pay for porn. In the news today......
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.
“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”
Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."
“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.
Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.
But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."
"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."
So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.
–CNN’s Chloe Melas contributed to this report
I'm just happy that I had a CNN article to quote and I hold on to my Journalistic integrity by not having to site TMZ for this story. I'm going to need as much integrity to get a pass for the next paragraph cause it's going to be... hee, what? I just have to get it out of my system.
Looks like the porn industry are in it deep. They must be hard up for cash. They're on their knees and they'll do anything. They're just in a tight spot. They put their money in the bad area and got fucked by a few investments. They took one to the face and it's just hard to swallow such tough times. But perhaps I can get behind this bailout. It would really get the industry out of a sticky situation. We should really go to their aid. They're too big to fail. They just need to offload their immediate liquid assets and then quickly merge with as many partners as possible to lower overhead.
Ok. That's it. I've got it all out of my system. How about something besides terrible puns?
You would assume that the porn industry was going to die because if no one is paying you for your content then you're going to have to turn to ad revenue for profit. But it's always advertisements for other porn sites. So that makes it sound like a huge pyramid scheme. Which makes you wonder if there's any outside money other than the cash being pushed around from site to site. This is the wrong way of thinking about it.
I know a friend who did an internship for a porn site. What he learned is that if you make a form and put some tits on it, someone will put their credit card number in it. Even shit like this gets freaks putting in their credit card info. Careful, Not work safe. It sounds amazing but I can use something said about the auto and bank bail out towards porn.
This is ridiculous, these companies have continually failed to drive innovation or technology and are quickly being outclassed by the Japanese. If they can't compete let them fold, its not the onus of the tax payer to support big industry that refuses to grow with the time.
Larry Flint makes some of the worst pornography on the market and Girls Gone Wild is too sad to be arousing. These two men brought this on themselves. The quality of commercial porn is terrible all around Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes. yes. yes baby. verb my noun. oh yeeeeessss I can almost hear the mundane tone in the actors voice oh baby I'm almost there ok I'm there.
I'm a content creator. Or at the very least I like to believe that I'm creating some sort of content. I'm really not that opposed to piracy. I read comic books online. I listen to music on the radio and I download a lot of new sounds. If I like it I support it in some shape or form. I'm thinking that this won't kill the whole porn industry. Mainstream porno is going get rolled, but fetish websites will get those strange weirdos money no matter what.
The demand for high production quality was never terribly high so the digital age meant literally everyone with a handycam and a couple spare table lamps could produce and distribute pornography that was 90% as good as the highest quality professional pornography. its socialism at work and the only losers are the bourgeois bead-throwers.
how much would it cost to produce a porno anyway? 1 nightvision camera 1 relationship
Or you can go the whole high class production method and get the following: 3 big ass lights (can be rented for a day for about $75 or so) 1 mini DV camera + tripod (near $100 rental per day of shooting) 1 editing-capable PC (chances are you can do it on your desktop PC) Editing software (free on torrent, yay!) 1 male performer (ranging $700-1000 per day of shooting) 1 female performer (ranging $900-1500 per day of shooting) 1 Script (write it yourself, you cheap bastard) 1 Director (this would be you) 10 crewmen or so (draft friends, assuming you can use the camera yourself) transport and make-up. I mean, no matter how pretty your performers are, the camera is merciless. Food for the day
This is, of course, mid-end porn. You can go amateur for quite less. 1 webcam ($40) + bored girls with ok boobs or couples looking to put on a show + connection to internet ($40) = future of porn . So crass, so soulless... no craftsmanship, no spirit, no art. But then again, who is claiming this stuff is art? Those ashamed of just calling a spade a spade.
That's the thing I don't get. You see congress get all up in arms about nudity or sexual content in the media. Ever look at the news racks at your local market? I question why they allow the sale of Romance novels at the market. I suppose it's because while it's porn, it requires literacy so the moral majority is unaware of its existence.
When will I request my bail out money for this Internet comedy stuff? I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't get a dime... for... just about anything I write. I mean, there's payment somewhere involved in this, right? CURSE YOU YOUPORN!
Maybe they have it all right. I mean, if someone was willing to pay me to get naked, you're damn right I would. Hell, I've gotten naked drunk for free! What am I doing not charging? Perhaps a bail out is needed. Can we somehow use Obama's Yes We Can chant somewhere in this movement?
So the last time I did this there was so many pictures extra that I had enough to make another pad post of porn centric pictures. Can you blame me? I am bit of a lazy writer. Well. Not so much. But it has been a long day and I swear, I have at least four or five pieces that I need to flush out a little more. Hints: More energy drinks, News in the porn industry, across the board to abstinence, a piece on Eggnog and then some more soap box related ranting about whatever is on my mind. Till then, enjoy another round of porn pictures..
Scrub that dirtiness away!
This is just.. odd
You wont stop at one!
I see the pecking order around here
Oh the festival balls, how they glow so bright.
Mmmmm Nutty!
Size matters, right?
If you were British this would be either funny or really mundane.
Umm.. smoke'em if you got'em?
These are all sorts of wrong
Sex should be between one human and another human..
I don't want to taste the fruit of their labor
It's like drinking the blood of the pure.
Get down on your knees and praise Jesus
On a side note, I have found these chips once and have never again.. :(
Mmmmmm... Spunk
You take that one eyed monster on, Hulk!
Oh so wrong
......
Don't want to put my penis in that!
So there you have it. Another filler blog. Are you happy? Are you pleased that you're laughing at what a marketing man most likely got fired for. Well you should be. He deserved it. He wasn't no Don Drapper in terms of coming up with proper product placement by filling these with sexual references, now was he?
Once was a writer, tho, you see words to your left, so I guess I'm still that to some degree.
You can find my scribbles and mind ranting on this and various other places as a means to keep the creative, satirical and costco talk muscles worked out.
Was once apart of the tv industry, but I'm sure the NDA's are still in effect so let's move on from that. Now I spend my time slinging beer and keeping a building in one piece.
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