Welcome Back To The Herpes Shore

Welcome Back To The Herpes Shore

I.. really don't know how to justify it other than it's like watching a car wreck on the side of the road. You want to look away. You really don't want to see the headless body of the passenger laid out on the pavement, but you look anyway. You can't justify it other than there's some level of morbid curiosity there.. That's you're waiting for that massive fuck up that makes your life feel more whole and happy that you're not them. This is my fascination to the Jersey Shores.



How else can you admit to watching it? Well, I guess you could go the ironic route. Years ago we've accepted that MTV will never show music videos again and hey, at least this isn't The Hills, right? But sure enough, the whole gang are getting back together to have a second season of Jersey Shore. This time they've taken their long box of issues down to Miami.

And when I say that the gang is getting back together, I mean the whole gang. The once self-exiled Angelina, who left due to some boyfriend issues last season is brought back. You have the other cast members who are a car wreck all to themselves. It's only a question of time and amount of alcohol consumption before they do something stupid.



At first hearing news that a season 2 was going to happen I sort of dreaded it not being watchable. I mean, watchable compared to season 1. In that first season there was some innocence there. They had this misguided notion that they were celebrities and it got them in situations where they got into fights and punched around a lot. That was pure comedy.

This time they actually are pseudo celebrities. The small amount of sincerity they had going will be completely gone. You don't think just walking around Florida's beaches gets them with groupies and asked to take pictures/autographs? Or I could be wrong and they'll be even more full of themselves which could just as easily lead to them still getting into stupid hijinks and eventually punched in the face even more.



I have to point out that Pauly has got to be the biggest walking cliche ever. I mean, besides his attitude, he has gotten every cliche tattoo that existed in the past 10 years. Tribal Dragon, tribal angel wings, bicep band, Celtic cross, elbow star thing. How much more of a tool can he be?

I think Vinnie has to be the best cast member of the show because he's somewhat aware of what's going on. He's the sort of straight man of this buddy comedy of over the top characters. It does seem like he knows it's all a joke and that he can squeeze all he wants out of his 15 minutes of fame.



Besides, he already fucked the situation's sister, everything else he does is gravy from here on out. Then you have the return of Angela. And I wonder why they even bothered. Did she realize that leaving like 2-3 episodes into the show the last time really destroyed her ability to make millions of bucks?

I mean, no one gives a shit about Angelina. No one. What exactly has she been busy doing after realizing that she fucked up by leaving the show? I guess bartending and doing nothing. Last season I was sort of glad she left when she did because it felt like she was preventing any of the guys from getting laid. Then after she left and they continued to strike out every night, I realized all that really left was another reason for everyone in the house to get into more fights. So tossing Angelina just meant you have someone else to light that fire of a potential fight... So it's actually a welcome surprise.

MTV Shows

The only question that remains is who will bang Angelina first? The Situation or Pauly D? Put your money down on this one, it's a bet worth taking. Then again, maybe neither will and she'll probably just leave again before the third episode.

But for those of you who are already worried that this new season of fun is going to be it for your ability to see fucking morons make fools out of themselves on television, fear not, this piece of news broke yesterday when Snooki was arrested.

What you’re witnessing here is a drunk as all hell Snooki getting arrested in Seaside Heights, N.J. today while filming an episode of Jersey Shore. TMZ says she was picked up for disorderly conduct, but based on these photos of her buying a beer bong, I’m going to assume someone called in an eight-year-old boy getting shit-faced on the boardwalk. Or possibly a small bear cub. Then again, these officers don’t look like they’re from the game commission.

That imagine right there makes me never want to have kids. Or at least be scared shit less that my kids will eventually end up like that. But that should be a huge spoiler for Jersey Shore season 3, when they return back to the actual Jersey Shore.

And if you can't wait for that, then perhaps you'll have the Asian version of Jersey Shore in K-Town, if MTV plans on picking it up.

As if the world could handle another Snooki, singer-model-actor Tyrese Gibson is producing a show called "K-Town," which TMZ dubbed "Like Jersey Shore', but with Asians." The pilot was shot in Los Angeles a week ago and has yet to be picked up by MTV, but if the drinking, muscles and attractiveness of the cast are factored in, it could be a big hit.

The cast is already set up on Twitter, where you can catch bon mots from former exotic dancer Scarlet Chan such as "I love the orgies scene in True Blood.. I wanna hook up with a Vampire so bad." Word. Or try out Peter Le, who runs a softcore wesbite and shames Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino with his rippling abdominals. In fact, Queerty takes up the burning question of Le's straightness, and dubs him "The Situasian."

Oh man... that sounds.. truly truly awful. I mean, I always associate K-town with All you can eat Korean BBQ and cheap rent. I guess the comedy will be there whenever morons act stupid, right.

Glee - In Real Life

Glee - In Real Life

Glee is one of those Fox shows that, even if you have Time Warner Cable, you'll still be able to watch since Time Warner and Fox settled their dispute. Besides that, it's one of those shows that has that soap opera feel but has the musical element that will make you feel not-so-gay if you happen to watch it with your girlfriend.

It seems that it has received such popularity that MTV is already trying to cash in on the fame, especially with the Real Life Glee


And if you're reading this, chances are you enjoyed or at least one episode of Glee. And as much as the show is entertaining with catchy music and characters you can cheer for, the problem seems to be, at least in MTV's mind, that it's not authentic. It's all an act, meant to entertain the viewer, of course.

So this MTV show is a prime example on how they saw the idea behind Glee, and decided to take it, and find the real story. The result: A TV show featuring real high school students, really performing and truly living to perform... And this will air on January 2nd at 6pm on MTV... and since they have no music videos to show, I'm pretty sure they'll show it at least a hundred times more during the week.

I guess the real appeal to this MTV show is that now with Glee on a winter break, they're trying to sucker in the viewers to watching this to get their Choir fix some place, because that's all Glee really is. This show aims to display the choir aspect of Glee without the scripting. But let's be real, I'm one to never trust MTV when it comes to "reality" shows.



An interesting aspect of the show is that it's part of MTV's "Made" program. It documents the lives of the members of the central sound, a show choir group based in Indianapolis. It includes scenes of rehearsals, performances, and what show choir members do in the time they're not with the choir.

I'm just wondering which one is the would-be-hot-except-for-the-huge-jew-nose character. because without that star talent on te show, you have nothing. So maybe if you're interested in hearing high schooler's sing Lady Gaga when they're not in the shower and out in public, this show may be for you.

Lady Gaga Is Totally Awesome

Lady Gaga Is Totally Awesome

I have avoided this subject for a while now because I felt it was too mainstream to talk about but I can't deny talking about it any longer. I must admit that Lady Gaga is totally awesome in every way possible. Though, I guess I'm not one to listen to her(?) music, but I can respect her(?)



Like a ton of pop stars wear lingerie just to expose themselves and be thought of as a sex goddesses, but really internally they're oppressed to shit and it doesn't work. Madonna for instance.. For someone who was all about sex and even wrote a damn book about it, she sure seems like an up tight bitch. Lady Gaga is like Madonna but she is classy and also has talent.



Gaga like knows what she's going on about, she's straight copying glam rock David Bowie/Freddy Mercury shit. It's all very retro-queer chic, but it's on a fricking GIRL! Sure, I should put the question mark there, but let's face it, she's not a dude. No way. All those rumors of her packing a dick are nothing more than her excelling at that whole David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust gimmick.



But even if she was packing a dong, she would be just as awesome and would get my respect, if not more for packing double weapons. Bestowing a penis upon a woman is the best gift a patriarchy can give, after all. Like,you can see it everywhere on the net. When paparazzi pictures get posted there's always an argument and some dudes who are like "Lady Gaga is hot!" and others are like "Eww, she's a MAN! She's hiding a penis in there! What a gross transvestite and not hot at all, you are so gay, no real straight guy would ever think she is hot because she is a man" Those clearly have to be males trying to pump out their chest in an act of male dominance. Silly boys.



Now obviously she's not a man. Just evoking something dangerously close to leather daddy fagmos for average white males. Which is totally sweet, because it's turning the male gaze against the male, which usually ends up with broken noses and bleeding gashes, but since she is just this little 100 pound blonde chick it totally leaves homophobic men with no outlet but to call her names and start flamewars on the internet to attack other males who do think she is hot.



It's really all amusing. That's not to say she isn't sexy. No, she is sexy as hell. But I don't want to have sex with her because if we were ever in that kind of situation that might ruin our friendship and frankly, I wouldn't want to taint such a sacred thing. Frankly, she seems like a really cool person to be friends with because of all the wacky strange shit she will wear and do. Not to mention what will come out of her mouth. Talk about a firecracker, that Lady Gaga. So no, we're just gonna hang out cause she's cool like that.

Lady Gaga, if you're reading this....

Let's just be friends. Ok?



I once read an article that argued that the reason rock bands are usually all-male is so that men have another outlet for success and fame. Which is why pop is less legitimized because pop is more female dominated. I could be hallucinating all this though in some bad acid trip. But if it's somehow true or carries some truth to it, it would make sense of it. See what Lady Gaga does? She breaks through that in a less than PINK annoying way. Not to mention that I'd believe that Pink was packing a dong more than I would believe Lady Gaga would be.



Yeah, you may be thinking "What's up with Lady Gaga dressing up like that Boss from Metal Gear Solid". You sort of half expect her to ask you if you like playing Castlevania. But she's cool like that. See what I mean, her sense of style goes beyond just dressing slutty. She's making a statement. And while we may misinterpret that message as "I'm fucking crazy." Those of us in the know are aware that she's really just ten years ahead of everything. Didn't you think Ziggy Stardust was pretty far out, man? Yes, she's pretty far out.. MAN! What next, will she kiss a frog? Oh wait, here she is doing that. What would Miss Piggy think? Wait, I just figured it out. She's saying SHE'S Miss Piggy. See how far out she is?



I don't know who decided that wearing the decapitated head of a puppet was fashionable, but I suspect that it was the most awesome thing in the world. I mean, I love the muppets. The idea of killing them seems a bit extreme but, this is fashion after all. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made. Besides, I'm not sure who it was that said you shouldn't wear white after labor day but they must not have ever said anything about wearing green after a certain time. While it's not easy being green, it sure is easy wearing it.



Besides if you disagree with using muppets as a wardrobe and fashion statement, Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's Fall 2009 RTW collection would not be up your alley. See that, I'm hip to the chic. I know my fashion. Yes, I may wear jeans and wacky/comic book t-shirts, but when it comes to chic muppet fall lines, I know my shit. Take that Stacy and Clinton!

And lastly, why do I not consider her just another christina aguilera? Lady Gaga is literally more talented than most other corporate pop stars of the last few years. I suppose I have to admit it, I once did think, upon first hearing her name and some generic synthesized sounds that she was a carbon cutout. But then I saw this acoustic version of one of her songs that sounds autotuned like hell. I was impressed.



That in itself was pretty good. So hey, I may not like all of her music but I do respect the gal. Much more than I expected and her message/look and out of her fucking mind mentality when it comes to the way she handles the MTV word is hilarious to watch.

If Kanye Liked Beyonces Video So Much, He Shoulda Put A Ring On It

If Kanye Liked Beyonces Video So Much, He Shoulda Put A Ring On It

I'm still surprised that MTV has a video music award. Mainly because I don't recall the last time I've ever seen a music video on MTV. To be fair, I haven't tuned into MTV all that much anyway. So I can't really comment on it so much as to say that it's usually filled with mind numbing shows like The Hills.

I'm under the assumption that most people don't view music videos on MTV, but instead view them on Youtube linked to them by their many "friends". Well, that is in till Viacom or the respected record label takes it down. But let's go with the idea that MTV actually shows these videos enough to warrant the need of an awards show. These are, without doubt, a stage to simply highlight this years more-than-likely staged event that will be in the papers the next day. This year's stunt just showed that Kanye West is pretty much a douche bag we already knew he was....

West, who is known for his outspoken ways, jumped up on stage while the 19-year-old Swift was making an acceptance speech for best female video for her hit song You Belong With Me, beating out singers including Beyonce Knowles and Lady Gaga.

"I am really happy for you," West said. "But Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time."

MTV said West, who was spotted earlier on the red carpet drinking alcohol, was ejected from an awards show already known for its circus-like atmosphere.

West received loud boos from the crowd when his name was mentioned later in the show.

Since Viacom is pretty strict on youtube, can't link you to one that would be around for more than three seconds. So here's this very strange vpod format of the event:


Watching that video was really painful. Not only was it MTV on the screen, which is painful enough, but Taylor Swift looks devastated and all of this took place immediately after she said "I sing country music, so thanks for giving me a chance!" What an awful thing to do to someone, to completely ruin their moment for them like that.

The reaction on Beyonces and the other folks in the seats was pretty much dead on. Though.. like I said in the opening, the chances of this being an MTV staged event is a Vegas odds favorite. Anything on MTV in the last decade has been completely motivated by ratings and advertising. Let's face it. The joke's on all of us. It just has to be, right? Kanye West is the Soy bomb of the music awards world. Kanye West even parodied himself a long time ago.



But let's take a few seconds to think that this isn't some planned staged event by MTV to gather ratings to their shitty network. Clearly the integrity of MTV's programming has been...compromised. Oh wait, who gives a shit about this award? This is the MTV video awards after all, Nobody gives a fuck about who wins. It's not a Grammy or anything. It's a statue of a guy in a space suit holding a flag. Should Kanye really get upset that Beyonce didn't get every single award possible? Somewhere in America, Chris Brown is watching a video of this shit and planning his comeback tour with a smile on his face. Because after tonight, people won't give two fucks about what he did to Rihanna.



Saying in the middle of a solid block of capitol letters that you are not crazy is pretty fucking futile. This is basically Kanye saying that he wants to have sex with Beyonce. Get in line, Kanye. Why was he so white knighting it in order to defend her honor anyway? Besides the fact that it seems like it had to be staged, there really wasn't a point to it. Maybe we should see what videos were choosen over Beyonce's in the best female video catagory? If you're so inclined to see female singers in some music videos, take a look at the nominated films HERE.

What was so great about the "Single Ladies" video? It's just her dancing and lip-syncing. Basically, her live performance. Beyonce's video is basically her shaking her ass for a few minutes and occasionally pointing to her robot hand. I can't even understand the simple lyrics she's running off about. All I hear is:

"I'm a thing o' lettuce, I'm a thing o' lettuce"

At least Taylor Swift kissed a dude in her video. You know, acting! Let's look at more of the lyrics from Single ladies:

If you cant pay my bills, my telephones bills
if you cant then you and me are through etc

Wow. Seriously? At this point I'm thinking Beyonce is just a huge bitch. Thanks for prepetuating the stereotype of women as being money pits.



Times like this I'm so glad I'm going on 30 and officially "old" so that I now have no need to defend my complete lack of interest in these people and their music. Though for some odd reason I'm writing a blog about the whole instance? Much like other bloggers, I like the sound of my own voice.. or.. the look of my own typing... That and I think typing helps work my fingers out. NO PAIN, NO GAIN!!! WOOOOOOoooo!

Another question that should be asked is if these singers even have creative control over their music videos? I don't understand that aspect of it. Why they give the best video awards to the singer. Shouldn't it go to the director/firm that actually made the thing? I sure as hell would like to see future film directors up there instead of the band/singer accepting, what in essence is, a best actor award. Way to lip sing your song, buddy!

Though, this sort of thing happens often enough in the ratio of award ceremonies. Oh what? You don't remember the 1998 grammy's and Ol' Dirty Bastard?


No? I guess people just forget too easily.

I also can't believe there's a song called "My Life Would Suck Without You." Sure, it's upbeat and then it's a little addicting as in, it's stuck in my mind right now. But that's because I've actually met Kelly Clarkson (Oh snap, watch me drop names...) And if that doesn't take away any street cred I had in me, I suppose the next part will totally destroy all that built up edginess I had from those really crazy (but true) things I said on 9/11... Tayler Swift's video was sort of cute.

There. I said it. It was a cute. Cute enough that I'll embed it into my blog so that anyone can point at this blog post when I'm trying to be hard or mean and say "Look, you pussy, you enbedded a Tayler Swift video into your 'oh-so-edgy' blog"



It's not ground breaking at all. It's pretty forumalic. But it was sure as hell a lot better than some stupid black and white video of three women dancing around with some Michael Bay style camera movement. And I'll call anyone who believes it was all one shot a fucking moron. There's no way it could have been that. I see a few spots where it was edited so don't play that card with me.

But Ms. Swift's video at least told a story. Be it a generic one of nerd girl who is only contacts and some make up away from being a popular hot girl pinning over the high school jock who has a bitch for a girlfriend. It's not new and frankly, the formula has grown old on me in the last few years, but I still enjoyed that video and the concept.



She sure as hell didn't deserve to be upstaged like that. But hey, I guess that's what happens when you let him guzzle Hennessey before the show. At the very least Taylor Swift fans.. or just people who hate douche bags like Kanye, reacted back and acted out some revenge today.Look at what they did to Kanye's dead mother's site. I wonder what his PR people are doing to keep him at bay from that. He sure was really destroyed (as anyone would be, but just a little more) by her death.

Added to that, At least Taylor Swift has a sense of humor. I do give Taylor Swift more credit for at least having fun with her country music roots and mocking herself


See, now that's comedy. Ok, maybe I just like whitey over beyonce? The point is that Kanye West hasn't been doing a whole lot of things other than booasting his own ego and thinking that the world gives a shit about his opinions enough to force them down our throats. Where as in I, on the other hand, know people are only to read this if they want to.

But more than that, what has Kanye West done that has ever registered on my radar? I can't say I really like his music at all. In fact, the only positive thing I think he did was introduce a lot of main stream listeners of rap to Daft Punk with his Stronger Video.



Sadly, people just assumed he created that awesome beat and so, in a sense he leached off someone else's amazing creative content. Way to go Kanye. I'm not sure many people even know now that Daft Punk is a group that creates most every song that they hear in the club. Hell, Daft Punk should be getting MTV awards. At least the award sort of looks like the musicans who get it.

On that note, I'm going to end this on said awesome band. DAFT PUNK! Yo.

Which Is Worse? Super Sixteen or MANswers

Which Is Worse? Super Sixteen or MANswers?

For a long time we all wondered why MTV still went by that name if it hasn't bothered to show any M's for a long time now. With the state of the music industry the way it is, perhaps it's better that any of those music videos are left without visual representation.

But this lead me to sit and watch some of their programing. What did they decide was more important or cheaper to broadcast than music videos? Oh my. The result made my brain hurt. I quickly had to turn the channel. No longer could I bare witness to the horrors that MTV was showing. Sadly I went out of the frying pan and into the fire with that bold move of the channel up button as I landed on SpikeTV.

It had been too long since Spike TV replaced whatever other channel was on before it. Being that I'm a television nut I should know this answer. Sadly I do not. A quick wiki search not only found the answer. TNN was what this once was. I can't remember a single program on it. What was on it now though was MANswers.



This leads to the ultimate question. Is unapologetic capitalism or unapologetic misogyny more offensive/counterrevolutionary?

In one corner is My Super Sweet 16: MTV's program about rich young girls and the parties that they have for their 16th birthday, which can reach into the six figures.

from Wikipedia:
My Super Sweet 16 is an MTV reality series documenting the lives of teenagers in the United States who usually have wealthy parents that throw huge parties for their coming of age. Parties include the quinceañera (a sweet 15), the sweet 16, and other birthdays including a My Super Sweet 21 (which was brodcasted during MTV's Spring Break party) and My Super Swag 18. The show premiered on January 18, 2005. The opening theme is "Sweet Sixteen" sung by Hilary Duff. The show, while popular, has also received its share of criticism for its portrayal of the girls as rich, spoiled brats.Though the teens are required to perform some acts that are not in their normal behavior, most of their actions are due to their personalities.

An episode in 4 parts, starts here:
http://www.dailymotion.com/relevanc...0s-r_shortfilms

VS.

MANswers: Spike TV answers questions that matter to guys. These are inevitably thin excuses to get background shots of scantily clad women. While I'm not opposed to scantily clad women and seem to have made my fair share of blog post regarding the subject in the last few weeks, I get that sex sells.

A sample segment about the key issue of the day, midget hookers: http://www.dailymotion.com/relevanc...kers_shortfilms

FIGHT!

Although MANswers is dumb and terrible in its aggressive progragation of sexist stereotypes, my super sweet sixteen actively attempts to humanize and celebrate people who live lives of utter entitlement, lifting them up as an exemplary role models. Furthermore, super sweet sixteen is aired on MTV, a channel which still has incalculable cultural clout both here and abroad, ensuring that it will have a much wider-spread impact. You can write a fucking dissertation on this shit.



If they did the show right it could inspire some amazing class hatred. I'm not sure you can actually read how much my blood boils when I hear a sixteen year old say the following:

Has anyone seen keys to the vip?

When the revolution comes, she'll be first against the wall. MANswers just makes me roll my eyes and shut off either my brain or TV if the motor skills haven't already failed. I should note that MANswers is a bargain-basement show. It's really low budget. I'm guessing it cost something around $5,000 to produce one episode, while Super Sweet Sixteen clearly has that same amount spent on the fucking cake alone.



MANswers is actually hilarious in how absurdly macho it tries to be. If it was an actual person you would question if they don't like cock and taking it up the ass. It's the closet friend who pounds beers and acts all tough to cover up the fact that he loves show tunes.

There's also a terrible way the narrator of the show tends to emphasize random words in a sentence by saying them much louder and sounding like a complete idiot. Simple sentences like "WHATS inside your BALLS" just comes across as comical in that manner.

How WOULD a set of jugs behave on a girl who was BOUNCING on a trampoline on the moon?

I did not make that one up.


How would they bounce in space?

MANswers is simply hilarious in its overcompensating ur-macho-ism, like 90% of what spike airs. It is basically a parody of itself. Naturally the objectification of women is prevalent and unwelcome, but the market base of the channel is its own fucking parody so the pull of a show like MANswers approaches nil, and can be viewed safely as the hilariously innocuous drivel it is, mocked thoroughly with each frame.

super sweet sixteen, done by anybody else but MTV, would be a scathing documentary of the insipid entitlement of the children upper-middle to upper-class bourgeois families, the product of two generations overexerting themselves to give their children "everything they deserve", resulting in the cultural decay and lavish opulence of the parties... but, since it's MTV, it is instead a glorification of materialism. and if you want the patriarchy angle covered, think of the color schemes, detail to dress and strict social coding, "daddy's little princess" (almost never mommy's), etc. etc.

"wow wouldn't it be cool to be that rich some day? just look at all that cool shit!"
basically no different from medieval fairy tales about princesses in that respect.

Points go to Super Sweet Sixteen to being worse for humanity.

More video proof of how much total shit this show is.

I guess I should look at the other side of this coin here. While MANswers satirizes gender roles it doesn't do it well. The only show that effectively satirized gender roles was the Original Man Show. Maybe it's because I have a penis and I don't see any glass cieling when looking into a career that I can't judge MANswers as the total crap that it is. It certainly shouldn't dare use the name of Science for anything it does.

The show acts as if it's giving you facts based on science and studies. The science goes about as far as surveys, and pretty much anything other that is complete crap. In one of the early shows they had a "nutritionist" come on and say "The beer belly is a myth because beer doesn't contain fat"


What store will she buy out now?

My Super Sweet Sixteen is horrible for promoting a culture of consumerism and entitlement but MANswers directly follows TNA impact, combining like a Voltron of pure shit to form the dumbest 3 hours of television you're likely to ever find. If your clicker ends up on the channel, it's way too late. You'll were dead before the words "Can you freeze your farts and smell them later? watch MANswers to find out!" was ever spoken.

I watched five minutes of MANswers once because I think star trek was about to come on and the big question they were saving for the whole episode was "When is it legal to video tape yourself having SEX with hot chix!?!" and apparently the solution is go to Italy, there it is legal to video tape sex without consent. Up next: How many TITS can a VAGINA BEER in the length of a FOOTBALL GAME

It really is like viewing the world through 13 year old eyes again. Which still makes My Super Sweet Sixteen much much worse because no one watches spike TV.



Look at his eyes. They are dead and empty.. imagine how bad the 16th birthday will be for him

If my son/daughter ever reaches the point where s/he expects a Super Sweet 16th Birthday Party, it will be a surprise helicopter ride to a fabulous exotic pacific island jungle where s/he will be dropped with a canteen, machete, and topographical map to the drop zone 50 kilometers away where, if s/he is present three days later, extraction will be available.

They should reformat the show into "My Super Working Class Sweet 16". The kids would be depressed and upset that they didn't get a new pair of bootstraps with which to hike themselves to the prom. they'd find out when and where a My Super Sweet 16 party is going on and crash it. Would this be worse than the Hills? No. nothing is worse than The Hills. Actually the hills doesn't inspire hatred in me so much as sheer perplexity. It's so BORING. why on earth is it so popular?? If only because it's a spinoff that is in turn spinning off yet another show. It's like a plague of blonde hair, blank stares, and pointless banal drama

I suppose both of these are going to be neck and neck against each other. Maybe I'm missing the bigger picture. Something for the kids. I'm going to also toss in a vote for Toddlers in Tiaras, a show about child beauty pageants that of course shows how much the girls LOVE it even though every episode has some six year old having a break down or completely not giving a shit about the whole experience compared to their fat mother.

A sample of the horrors

Oh yes.. the horror.. the horror.

I've yet to see a Toddlers and Tiara's show that doesn't take place in the South. Are these pageants really that big down there? While on TLC, let's talk about Jon and Kate plus eight. If you want to feel like your balls were cut off, turn it on and see how Kate berates the poor guy. Kate is a horrible person and she sucks the life and soul out of him. This has nothing to do with her being a woman, she's just a terrible human being.



The whole show is basically a commercial. If Kate isn't insulting or berating Jon than she isn't being herself. If I was that guy I would have killed myself a long time ago. It's the only way out. Could you imagine child support on all those kids? She was the one tha thad serious trepidation about putting her kids on camera till the money started rolling in. The old saying of you can't buy happiness seems to be pretty accurate here.

Maybe it's better once you learn that Jon is allegedly melting down in real life and making out with wasted college girls at frat parties and living three hours away from Kate. I was honestly disappointed to not hear them declare separation at the end of the seasons finale. Next season may very well be called Jon-minus-Kate-and-8chat

Talking ironically, I sure can't wait for the real housewives of new jersey to premiere

She prides herself as one of the first female American Express Black card members in New Jersey.

um... yeah... society is doomed.

To be honest I think society's fucked enough now that television's really not going to influence many people into behaviors they're not already keen on anyway. People are just on edge and greedy in general at the moment.

If you want quality TV look to The Wire, The Shield or many other shows that aren't total crap. Most of all, just try to avoid taking that Dump of death

The Time Warner Cable Crisis

The Time Warner Cable Crisis

Many of you don't realize how close we were to total channel blackout on your local cable company at the end of 2008. If you only knew how close you were to losing the ability to watch South Park or Sponge bob while you eat your cereal, you pot head! Do you not realize how close they were to pushing the button? All would be lost if that were to happen... Well, by all I mean a couple of cable channels.

The Airwaves are in danger!

Viacom Channels May Go Dark In Time Warner License Dispute.

Spongebob Squarepants," "Dora the Explorer" and Jon Stewart soon might be pulled off Time Warner Cable systems in Los Angeles and around the country if the cable operator and Viacom Inc. cannot reach a new contract before midnight tomorrow. The move could knock Viacom's cable channels, which include Nickelodeon, MTV, VH1 and Comedy Central off nearly 2 million households in Los Angeles.

"We've been attempting to negotiate in good faith but they seem to taken it to the brink. Unfortunately, we are now at an impasse," said Philippe Dauman, chief executive of Viacom Inc. "It's unfortunate for all of our viewers should they lose the ability to watch our programming."

Viacom's license agreement with Time Warner Cable, which serves 12.3 million homes in the U.S., is set to expire at midnight Wednesday. If no deal is reached, Time Warner must take the Viacom channels off its cable systems and use alternative programming instead.

"Advertising revenue stinks so they are looking to stick our customers for the difference," said Alex Dudley, Time Warner Cable spokesman. "They are holding our customers hostage for a bunch of networks with sagging ratings and only one or two good channels. We have to hold the line for our customers."

Viacom said that it is asking for an increase of about 25 cents per month for the package of channels, which comes to about $3 a year per customer. Time Warner said that could trigger cable networks to demand higher fees as well, which ultimately could add as much $30 a year to a subscribers' bill.

This wouldn't be the first time that a cable channel has gone dark. It is not unusual for cable networks and cable system operators to pull or block programming during difficult negotiations. In 2004, for example, Viacom's cable channels disappeared from EchoStar's Dish Network for two days while both sides quarelled over the terms of a new contract. Earlier, Time Warner blocked ABC from its cable systems in New York during a breakdown in contract negotiations with parent company Disney involving carriage of its cable networks such as the Disney Channel and Toon Disney.

But the high-stakes dispute could prove to be different this time around because much of Viacom's programming, including Comedy Central's John Stewart and Steven Colbert, is now available free online. Moreover, Viacom no longer owns CBS, so it can't threaten to pull the network off cable systems on the eve of NFL playoffs, as leverage in negotiations. The hard-nosed tactics also come at a time when Viacom's stock is trading at historic lows and the company's controlling shareholder, Sumner Redstone, is facing hard choices in refinacing the debt of his holding company, National Amusements Inc.

Viacom Vs. Time Warner.. An epic Arms Race

We were very close to losing VH1, MTV, Nick and Comedy Central. My first real question was how am I gonna watch MadTV reruns? But then again I would rather watch the hills than see MadTV. Now that Avatar is over, who the fuck cares about Nick. To be honest, removing that list of channels would actually making me happy, right up until comedy central. How would I get my Daily Show fix? Well, there's always hulu.com for that.

In this crisis both companies were flexing their fire power tossing out bullet points on why the other side sucks.

Time Warner's Statement

We are negotiating earnestly, honestly and fairly with MTV Networks, but so far have been unable to reach an agreement or get an extension.

MTV Networks may pull these channels from your lineup on January 1st.

• MTV Networks wants our customers to pay millions more. They are currently demanding price increases that are nearly triple the rate of increase under our current agreement. These increases would be excessive even in a strong economy, but given the current conditions, it’s simply not fair to our customers.

• MTV’s demands are outrageous and would force our customers to pay millions of dollars more per year. MTV’s networks are not worth so much more today than they were yesterday, especially given the fact that their ratings are mostly declining in recent years.

• Much of their popular programming is also available for free online. In this economy, we don’t believe it’s appropriate to ask our customers to pay so much more for programming with declined ratings or that's available for free.

• We’ve successfully negotiated hundreds of programming agreements with other cable networks, many within the last few months. Our hope is that we will come to an agreement with MTV Networks that is fair to our customers.

Viacom is answering back with:

The move by Time Warner Cable to force such channels as Nickelodeon, COMEDY CENTRAL and MTV off the air is another example of a cable company overreaching for profit at the expense of its viewers.

The renewal we are seeking is reasonable and modest relative to the profits TWC enjoys from our networks. We have asked for an increase of less than 25 cents per month, per subscriber, which adds up to less than a penny per day for all 19 of MTV Networks' channels.

We make this request because TWC has so greatly undervalued our channels for so long. Americans spend more than 20% of their TV viewing time watching our networks, yet our fees amount to less than 2.5% of what Time Warner generates from their average customer.

Throughout the country, we have negotiated equitable license agreement renewals, or are in the final stages of renewals, with virtually every cable and satellite carrier. Nevertheless, Time Warner Cable has dismissed our efforts at a fair compromise and has effectively chosen to deny its customers some of the most popular TV shows on the air.

As a result, we are sorry to say that for Time Warner Cable customers our networks will go dark as of 12:01 on January 1st, denying Time Warner customers shows like Dora the Explorer, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, and The Hills.

Ultimately, however, if Nickelodeon, COMEDY CENTRAL, MTV and the rest of our programming is discontinued -- over less than a penny per day -- we believe viewers will see this behavior by their cable company as outrageous. Time Warner Cable subscribers who are being handed a January 1st $3 monthly increase in Raleigh, Orange County, Los Angeles, and New York City are simultaneously facing the removal of beloved shows across 19 channels.

We find it a shame that Time Warner Cable remains unreasonable at this time. We hope its leadership will have a change of heart and will seek to negotiate a fair renewal agreement.

To simplify this situation, a major corporation who owns Warner Brothers and Time Magazine does not want to do business with a major corporation that owns MTV and Cartoon Network. What is this world coming to?

Viacom said that it is asking for an increase of about 25 cents per month for the package of channels, which comes to about $3 a year per customer. Time Warner said that could trigger cable networks to demand higher fees as well, which ultimately could add as much $30 a year to a subscribers' bill. But this is Time Warner. So Fuck Time Warner.



They bought everyone out around here in the LA area (as I'm sure you know), then promptly:
Fired everyone they could
Outsourced everyone they still needed, so they could fire them too
Made a big blitz about being the "same old service"
Promptly started raising rates
Promptly started being even worse, in the service department, than ComCast which is saying something
Generally become big steaming piles of useless shit.

We need more anti-monopoly laws and Time Warner and everyone associated with it needs to rot in hell. This crisis would have been one more reason to cancel my overpriced crappy cable service. The internet connection goes out at least once a week, sometimes for an entire day at a time. My 9meg downstream connection is more like 3megs down even in the middle of the night when no one in the area would be awake, let alone downloading music and illegal software.



Time Warner and Viacom at the 11th hour

Just when the world... or at the very least those dumb enough to stay with our abusive husband, Time Warner Cable, thought it was all going to be over and Comedy Central would be lost we find out that the button wasn't pushed. There was an 11th hour miracle

Viacom and Time Warner come to a deal.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Time Warner Cable Inc. says it has reached a deal with Viacom Inc. on carriage fees, avoiding a blackout of 19 cable channels including MTV and Comedy Central.

The two sides, citing disagreement over fee hikes, had threatened a damaging blackout at midnight that would have cut off shows such as "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "The Colbert Report" to about 15.7 million subscribers.

Shortly after agreeing to extend a midnight deadline by an hour, Time Warner Cable spokesman Alex Dudley said the sides agreed on a new contract.

Details of the deal were not immediately available.

He almost lost out on Futurama reruns

We're saved from having to not be able to watch Charmed School or Rock of Love. We dodged the bullet of not having the luck of seeing VH1's wacky take on the 70's, 80's and 90's. Least we forget the 2000's. I am sure I will understand those "negotiations" on my next month's cable bill. So tell your children and their grand children about this epic crisis that almost robbed you of your guilty TV pleasures. And by you I mean all those like myself who are still dumb enough to stay with Time Warner. Stupid ass Road Runner.

I Want My MTV.COM

I Want My MTV.COM



I recently went on the record and announced that I wanted my ObamaTV. I should remind you that long before pseudo-reality tv filled the air of MTV, there was actual music on the air and they carried the whole tag line of people craving for their MTV. Every so often when the stars align and the moon hits just the right peak over the rockies, you'll see MTV play some music videos. But for the everyday music fix you've been turning to Youtube. Since Viacom is a law suit happy corporation, most videos are often pulled down before you can enjoy them to the fullest.


What does the M stand for these days? Mundane?

MTV has done something that I thought would not happen again. They've turn cool again. While not deviating from the format of showing crap, crap and more crap, they have allowed us, harnessing with the awesome mighty power of the internet, to check out music videos that they've shown for free! I'd gladly take the days of Jenny McCarthy over the current MTV we have going.


Back then I thought this was the worse MTV can do..
I was wrong

By clicking your clicker here, you'll be lead to mtv music, which will grant you all sorts of magic powers to avoid the hills, date my mom, Mtv's Why am I watching Mtv, Parental control, Cribs, generic reality show and any other non-music video show on a network called Music TV...

Forgotten favorites and classic's like Land of Confusion, Walk This Way, a whole stack of Weird Al, Hot for Teacher, and Puttin' On The Ritz. are at your finger tips now.



Not surprisingly, the Rick Roll is currently number two top-rated. Might I give you, the internet, a big middle finger for ruining yet another thing I found funny. That was till every April fools prank done outside of April links to. So forget this service for the popular titles you'd see on every internet meme.

For those who remember a those lesser known classic, you can find them. Hell, I even found 80's Crazy looking Tori Amos. Who I haven't seen a good quality video for in years. Be honest with me, have you ever even seen the King Missile video for detachable penis? Yeah, that's what I thought. Doug the Slug would be proud of me. Money for nothing is the most viewed. Damn right.


Tori Amos.. Crazy then... just as crazy now... Crazy Hot!

In the long run, we may never see the full episodes of Beavis and Butthead in their true form with all the videos still in there. But thanks to Mtvmusic.com, we can at least be Beavis and Butthead from the comforts of our own home. Though I do think my favorite was when they mocked this classic punk rock female inspired song. I mean, Ween is way too easy to mock.

Best of all, they have POP UP VIDEO! How do I know this? Cause I searched for Jewel's Who Will Save Your Soul, which was one video, among others by Jewel that had a different meaning in terms of popping up. ZING! Oh yeah, here it is without the stupid pop up. I dare anyone to listen to this and not be a little... teared up..


Can you blame me for crushin' on her?

But there's other classics that todays youth wouldn't ever know, like this little number about three little pigs that everyone should see. The fact that they have Purple Haze makes up for any video they don't have. Who can forget some Toni Basil's Mickey.. cause he's so fine.. he's so fine he blows my mind... Even if you don't enjoy campy music and no matter what isn't on there(Beastie Boys - Sabotage) this is probably the best music related thing MTV has done in decades. Even if they have to censor out the hash in the hash pipe by Weezer


Now if only they got the old Jon Stewart show up somewhere.