Porn For Women

Porn For Women

It's Valentines Day.... Let's celebrate the death of a saint who kept marrying things even though he was told not to. Most of all, it's Christmas for women. At least that's what my friend told me when I let him know I had no plans for this day. He was surprised and told me I should "Go along with the program." and "Just get her roses or something."

I bet this is the same mentality that the Nazis used... Yes, that's right. I just said that. I'm not going to be a mindless follower, am I? So this is Christmas for women? Huh? I thought Christmas was only a month and a half ago. Then I asked what Easter was, besides my Birthday every couple of years. "Christmas for Kids", he replied.

So let me get this straight -Women can't wait more than two months to get Christmas II but kids can wait four months to get a second fill of getting freebies? Shit, Guys wait a whole seven months before they get Christmas II in the form of 4th of July and the ability to blow shit up.

Don't get me wrong. I'm planning on showing some sign of my affection to the special people in my life today. I'll just save the flowers for my Mother. I already spread around some Valentines crap (Jones Cola) to most of my friends of both genders. But I like to think that I've shown my feelings on days that aren't Feb 14th to make them feel Speshul. I'm really tempted to relax on Valentines day watching some really shitty Sci-fi movie laughing my ass off thinking of what last minute Birthday gift I should give my sister.

But for those Women who do want this to be Christmas II: Electric Boogaloo, I have to wonder if this book about what is Porn for women has any truth to it.


I bet this is making all you women gush. So much that the person nearest to you is saying "I'll have what she's having!" Or... maybe not.



At least they aren't marked up $20 bucks like they are today.



Pro tip: Don't get into a relationship with a retard who can't use google map.



What next? He's going to sit down to pee? PUUUUSSSSSSSSY!



Stupid book. Football season already ended like two weeks ago.


So this made me wonder what would be the equivalent of terribly exaggerated stereotype in what men would consider porn.



So... where's the dipstick to check the fluids? Ba-da-doom!



Yup. Seems about right

See, I'm even too lazy and apathatic to even continue this mocking tone towards Valentines day. I really can't think of anything else. I mean, why not just come right out with it.. Porn for guys usually doesn't need an oil change and certainly doesn't have anything to do with putting the toilet seat down. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with just busting these out...





HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

(god, I'm never getting laid again, I know)