Saturday, August 28, 2010

Four Scores... Who Gives A Shit

Four Scores... Who Gives A Shit

I have one simple question.. Why do we give a fuck about "What the founding fathers wanted"? It seems like it's always brought up but right wing republicans when talking about Guns or Religion. And may I add that it's ALWAYS used wrong when it's about religion.

But really, why do we give a flying fuck about "what the founding fathers wanted" anyway. They're fucking dead. They also had slaves and were totally against the British. It's pretty clear that our nation is constantly evolving. If we restrict ourselves to the ideas and moral stunted growth of what our founding fathers wanted, we'd still be in those dark ages.

I never understood this talking point and I know the basic "Oh Republican's don't have any king of logic" is a prime excuse, but seriously, what's even the basis for believing that it matters? Why should we care about men who lived a quarter millennium ago?

But maybe it's because they were a bunch of slave owning rich old white dudes just like the republican party and every corporate executive that pulls strings in our society. And that's exactly why they try to play that card.

It's tossed around that they were guided by god, we must revere them to make sure we, as a nation, don't backslide and stay holy to the lord and creator of our fair nation. America without gods constant approval rating and favor towards us is nothing. It's because of him that we are the freest of the free nations in the history of free.

It seems to come down to a massive name drop. I mean, if you're going to try and pitch something to stupid mother fuckers, you might as well make that last ditch effort and answer any objections by dropping the titanic appeal to authority. "Yeah, you know who would've thought this 701 extension/interchange I'm proposing was a good idea? The dude who invented freedom"

No matter how fucking stupid your idea is and easily debunked, you know you're going to get some support by those who want to appease all the morons who are too afraid to go against the word of our smart founders. Just look at the facts:

-powder wig
-flew a kite

It's pretty clear that these dudes were gay. Nothing wrong with that, by the way.. just saying - do you want to oppose gay marriage now? So even if we are just projecting our desires onto them and then call our desires more patriotic than the oppositions, it's all just one big tool to try to prove that our opinion is any more correct than the next guys. In reality, it's not.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that amount these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of drunken sex with transsexuals.
See that. It's actually "the pursuit of property" but if part of Jefferson's desire to have tranny sex with his slaves came out in that draft, our nation would be an entirely different play ground.

On some levels I guess I can see why we care. They were pretty smart. It's the same reason why we care about Marx, Nietzche, Locke, Plato, Rousseau, Avicenna or other smart dead people. Even from beyond the grave they have things they can teach us about society and ways of thinking about it. Though I have to say that Capitalism still is a failed state.

But not to mention that their cultural and legal legacy continues to shape the American psyche and government, so trying to better understand it means we can better understand their long term influences and how they can be interpreted to make that long term influence a more positive thing.

The real irony with this hero worship from republicans was that many of our founding fathers were quite progressive for their time, and yet to idolize the minutiae of their politics rather than the spirit of their ideas today is conservative since it means looking backward. Just try explaining how Smith and Marx are basically using the same line of thought and you'll get laughed at.

If you really cared, and I mean actually cared to know the truth that most of them were already lawyers and/or governors. Ben Franklin spent much of his time being fat and drunk partying it up while fucking bitches left and right in France. Occasionally writing justifications for his continued absence to his lonely sad wife back home in the states.

He was supposed to be the representative to parliament for the colonies but didn't ever go home so he didn't know people were mad in the states over the taxes.

Thomas Paine is probably history's greatest American. He was an advocate for agrarian revolution and the death of the ruling class every day he could. When he came back to the US after narrowly escaping execution, Jefferson put him up in the white house but angry mobs demanded that no such atheist jacobin be allowed in THEIR capital and Jefferson had to send him away in the dead of night.

I just wished that all the frothing over the founding fathers would stop for those single aspects where someone wants to name drop for their own cause. "But Jefferson would be totally for unrestricted cap and trade and off shore oil!" Um, yeah. He'd also be all for every home having a female black slave for their very own as well.

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