Thursday, August 26, 2010

No Funbags Makes Babies Cry

How Dare My Baby Want To Nurse off My Funbags!

While I'm always at attention when it comes to boobs, this news story crossed my radar recently and while it's a subject that is a bit of a sore subject, it's still a strange subject. So here it is...
Criticism over breastfeeding 'creepy' article
Breastfeeding baby Breastfeeding has many health benefits for babies and mother

An article in a magazine for new mothers that described breastfeeding as "creepy" has drawn widespread criticism.

Mother & Baby Magazine's deputy editor Kathryn Blundell said she bottle fed because she did not want to put her "fun bags" in a "bawling baby's mouth".

Breastfeeding is seen as the optimum way to nourish a baby in the first six months.

Critics say the article could have put off vulnerable mothers.

Mother & Baby magazine is read by thousands of pregnant and new mothers, with many looking to it for advice on how to manage early motherhood.

'Dangling boobs'

Although she acknowledges breast milk has the edge over infant formula, Ms Blundell says in her article that she did not "fancy it" and went straight to bottle feeding.

She adds: "Even the convenience and supposed health benefits of breast milk couldn't induce me to stick my nipple into a bawling baby's mouth."

She goes on to say that she wanted her "body back" and to give her "boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around my stomach".

Of her breasts, she adds: "They're part of my sexuality too - not just breasts, but fun bags.

"And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy."

The article in the July issue of the magazine has drawn criticism on many parenting websites.

One mother wrote on Baby Centre: "Surely putting her sexual feelings before the 'supposed health benefits' means she is a little creepy?"

Another on Mumsnet said it could have a "bad effect on someone who's feeling vulnerable post-natally and struggling with breastfeeding".

Editor of Mother & Baby, Miranda Levy, says her magazine is a "constant and vocal supporter of breastfeeding".

She said the writer was describing her personal experience and that it had a place in the ongoing parenting debate.

"We have been inundated by supportive e-mails applauding her 'refreshing' point of view; we have made readers feel 'normal'; and less of a failure for not managing to breastfeed," she added.

"The way you feed your baby is not a moral issue and at Mother & Baby we seek to support all new parents."
Health advantages

The Department of Health recommends that babies are fed breast milk alone for the first six months.

NHS leaflets given to pregnant women and new mothers say that breastfeeding protects babies against obesity, allergies, asthma and diabetes.

Breast-fed infants also have a lower risk of gastroenteritis and respiratory and ear infections, research shows.

The advantages also extend to women who breastfeed. They have a lower risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer and tend to lose the weight they gained in pregnancy faster.

Figures show that eight in 10 women in England start off breastfeeding, but only one in five is still breastfeeding by the time their baby is six months old.
I know what you're thinking.. Breastfeeding in public is gross! But is breastfeeding at all gross? Hmm. That's a good thing to think about here. So we have two view points on the matter with this article.

A. Listen, when I got pregnant nobody told me my fun bags were going to be involved! I did not sign up for this BULL SHIT. Get away from that tit, infant, it is not for you. It is only for... my lovers!


B. Women should not be pigeonholed into biologically-mandated roles that have been made obsolete by culture and technology. The modern obsession with breastfeeding is further festishization of the breast by a patriarchal public obsessed with displays of fertility and femininity in the context of pre-approved "nurturing" actions.

I have to say that I'm mostly confused by this whole situation. If you are that spooked by the idea of your body changing shape and that creeped by the physical act of mothering an infant, why get pregnant in the first place? Adopt a toddler and just bypass the whole thing.

How can you possibly go through the entire process of gestating and expelling a baby and then balk at slapping a nip in its mouth like every other mammal on earth? But before we get ahead of ourselves, let me stop for a moment and point out that she seriously said FUNBAGS. How in gods name would taking advice from that woman seem like a good idea?

I suppose men should start calling their moobs "loafs of depression". Will someone shut that damn kid up? Mama's trying to get her freak on all up in here.

Should we actually bring back wet nurses? Because by not breastfeeding she's causing harm. Basically you get your immune system from breast milk. It matters less in a developed nation, but it's still pretty important. It's also really the only thing that triggers oxytocin bonding, which is associated with post-partum depression levels. Whether the infant will thrive or not, it's beneficial to you.

These mothers are literally telling their kids "Sorry babies, these boobs are claimed by grown men and their media-drive fetishization. Have some powdered crap from China instead." Let's be all organic and healthy but then feed our babies chemical sludge instead of risk droopy breast.

It's as if she feels like her body's priority is as a sex object and made a decision based on this internalized objectification that was not optimally healthy for her or her infant. While some people can't breastfeed or have economic reasons that they cannot, she seems to be basiing her objection on being scared that anyone would see her breasts for anything other than plush sex toys.

Woah there! That baby just straight tore through that dress to get some titty. Not a baby you want to fuck with. How you gonna rip a bitch's blouse open like that, you macroencephin fucking fat demon wing baby!

You also don't get pregnant without your boobs being physically altered. They will swell up as milk doesn't just fill in or evaporate overnight. It can take months of painful swelling and leaking before it does. Then after they will deflate and be different than they were before.

There's no reason for the woman in the article to think that denying her kid the opportunity to nurse is going to somehow rush her along in getting back on the sexy train any sooner. Adults need to realize that you have to make some concessions when you have a child. They're the babies, you aren't. So deal with it.

But even then, most women's tits don't get that messed up with one or two kids. Your flat tummy's probably going to never return since chances are your linea alba's gonna get tore up a little. Exercise can help with that but it's a rare luxury once you got a kid to look after.

You should only worry about it if you're one of those religious nuts who just has to crank out kid after kid for "god". Yeah, right there around kid 20 is when you'll be good and messed up. But if you're involved in one of those cults you got a whole host of more important problems than just saggy boobs.

And who said you even had to make a big show out of it. I doubt there's much of a benefit in breast feeding a baby directly opposed to just pumping it out with a machine and feeding them with a bottle of your milk. I did read a report that said that babies who get to suck on boobies develop fewer bad habits relating to sleep and putting foreign objects in the mouth.

Ugh! Disgusting! Look how fat that baby is. Maybe he should be drinking water instead of making out with his mom's tit milk. Hey so-called "Masters", Learn how to draw a tit for christ sakes!

While I completely disagree with the woman, I guess I can see how feeling like you've been a little used can come into play. I'm thankful I'm a guy at those moments when I realize that pregnancy is essentially playing host to a 7lb parasite and at the end of which you're essentially a food source.

Then again, why do I care? If she wants to raise some anemic, immune system-deficient, cavity riddled, pale, weakling that's one more kid my kid will be able to dominate physically and mentally on the playground.

In the writing of this I saw the following news story pop up on my window page about the healthy benefits of breast feeding...
A large part of human milk cannot be digested by babies and seems to have a purpose quite different from infant nutrition — that of influencing the composition of the bacteria in the infant’s gut.

The indigestible substance that favors the bifido bacterium is a slew of complex sugars derived from lactose, the principal component of milk. The complex sugars consist of a lactose molecule on to which chains of other sugar units have been added. The human genome does not contain the necessary genes to break down the complex sugars, but the bifido subspecies does, the researchers say in a review of their progress in today’s Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The complex sugars were long thought to have no biological significance, even though they constitute up to 21 percent of milk. Besides promoting growth of the bifido strain, they also serve as decoys for noxious bacteria that might attack the infant’s intestines. The sugars are very similar to those found on the surface of human cells, and are constructed in the breast by the same enzymes. Many toxic bacteria and viruses bind to human cells by docking with the surface sugars. But they will bind to the complex sugars in milk instead. “We think mothers have evolved to let this stuff flush through the infant,” Dr. Mills said.

Dr. German sees milk as “an astonishing product of evolution,” one which has been vigorously shaped by natural selection because it is so critical to the survival of both mother and child. “Everything in milk costs the mother — she is literally dissolving her own tissues to make it,” he said. From the infant’s perspective, it is born into a world full of hostile microbes, with an untrained immune system and lacking the caustic stomach acid which in adults kills most bacteria. Any element in milk that protects the infant will be heavily favored by natural selection.

The proteins in milk also have special roles. One, called Alpha-lactalbumin, can attack tumor cells and those infected by viruses by restoring their lost ability to commit cell suicide. The protein, which accumulates when an infant is weaned, is also the signal for the breast to remodel itself back to normal state.

Such findings have made the three researchers keenly aware that every component of milk probably has a special role. “It’s all there for a purpose, though we’re still figuring out what that purpose is,” Dr. Mills said. “So for God’s sake, please breast-feed.”
So any of you who are pro-formulas, you best wrap it up. Make it all natural.

While on the subject, is it just me or has the frequency of casearians in wealthier neighborhoods gone up? It seems to be because it's easier to get c-section scars cleaned up than vaginal reconstruction surgery down the road. I mean, hey, it's just at the expense of your child's lung development and all, but you know, mama want's things to be tight and in place down there.

Then again, on the flip side you have mothers who are way too gung-ho to want to show the world they're feeding..
Mums furious as Facebook removes breastfeeding photos

Facebook has become the target of an 80,000-plus protest by irate mothers after banning breastfeeding photographs from online profiles.

Facebook's policy, which bans any breastfeeding images uploaded that show nipples, has led an online profile by protestors - called "lactivists" in some circles - called "Hey Facebook, breast feeding is not obscene".

The online petition, which accuses Facebook of instituting the policy to "appease the closed-minded", has attracted almost 82,000 supporters.

The actions of the group came to a head over the weekend when the protesters organised a virtual "nurse-in" on the social networking website where for a day angry supporters posted a profile picture of an image of a mother breastfeeding and changed their Facebook status to say "Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!".

A small demonstration was also launched outside Facebook's office in Palo Alto, California.
Hey, you dumb lady. If you're breast feeding maybe you should be busy raising your damn kids instead of fucking around on Facebook and playing Farmville all day! I'm a great mom!- every knocked up slut from here to eternity.

Booo hooo, I have to adhere to the Terms of Service I agreed to. Sell my information to whoever you want but please just let me show my tits and underage non-consenting child to possibly masturbating strangers!

Can I just get offensive here? I mean, it is Friday, time to let loose before the weekend, what is this "miracle of birth" bullshit? As far as things goes, can something really be a miracle if it happens a billion times every day? Get over yourself baby makers.

The true miracle would be if they could shut up about how much it hurts all the time. You know what really hurts? Having to give up half your paycheck for some dumb kid you've never even met. And who gives a shit about how long labor took you anyway? Schedule a c-section like every other rich white woman who has decent health insurance and get over it.

Try having kidney stones and then come back and tell me how bad a naturally occurring process that your body was designed to perform hurts.

I'll never understand women. When I want to see your tits, you won't show them to me; when I DON'T want to see your tits, you can't keep them out of my face. I guess I'm just really impressed that feminist were able to reclaim "funbags"

1 comment:

Shinxy said...

I was going to write a somewhat empassioned response to the things you were saying as I cannot breastfeed as I cannot carry a child due to the medication I have to be on forever (I'll get a surrogate, even though it's not quite legal in this country) and how you and the pro brestfeeding militia are making women like me feel inadequete. But I got down to the last bit and I just have this to say: