Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What Will Happen In The Year Two Thousand One One

In The Year Two Thousand One One

Man, I sure have been milking the new year topics for the last couple of weeks, haven't I? Well, let's just leave this one as the last in the series. Most of all, this will the most important. For you see, I look into my crystal ball and lay out predictions for the year to come.

Will any of them come true? Oh, you'd be surprise! But here it is.. What is to come in the year Two Thousand and Eleven!

- South Sudan will secede, there will be total riots and a limited border clash but

- Korea will yet again be a blue balls maker by not having a damn thing interesting happen there.

- People will stop caring about Julian Assange.

- Nothing of importance will happen.

- No.. correct that. It's going to suck.

- A lot.

- Maybe I'll lose my virginity.

- Probably not.

- Things will probably get worse at a significantly faster speed but nothing major will happen to provoke any type of unrest or uncertainty. I mean, the more Americans lose healthcare insurance, even more demand repeal of Obamacare.

- Tea party patriots will finally overthrow the tyranny of Socialism ushering in a new era of fiscal responsibility, Ron Paul will be executed by the sons of liberty with a smile on his face

- Unemployment will hit 20% and businesses will have the burden of minimum-wage lifted off them to spur hiring.

- Thousands of public entities will be privatized and auctioned off.

- It'll have been a decade since 9/11 so that'll be fun to hear about everywhere... and I mean every fucking where.

Yes you can honor the heroes who died on 9/11 by purchasing the 10th year limited edition 9/11 collector's plate for small asking price of $9.11 plus an extra $30 for delivery! Call now.

Yeah.. I think I'm just going to stay inside with the TV off on 9/11/2011. I just don't want to deal with everyone and their bullshit. I mean.. it just leads to the next wave of future sight...

- Obama will probably bomb Iran over something small.. more than likely stupid.

- The average person dies of a bone infection from not having the money to have their wisdom teeth removed. The following week Wells Fargo will start to harass the deceased family members for the debt they left behind.

- I will still remain to be the awesome guy I have been.

- A lot more minor celebrities you haven't thought about in a couple of decades will die. You will find meaning from it for some strange reason.

- I'll probably make the misguided choice to do or not do things and I will probably not do or not stop doing said things.

- Death will still remain to be certain.

- The political situation will just get worse and Obama will do more things to prove how little of a socialist he really is...


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