Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Years is Such Over-hyped Bullshit

New Years is Such Over-hyped Bullshit

I mean, seriously. Is there any other day that has had so much hype behind it that you must simply do the ultimate in ultimate or else you totally failed behind it? It's the same shit every year.. you're just coming off the stupid Christmas shopping craze and finally feeling like your teeth aren't going to fall out due to all the sweets you ate and then it's all about planning New Years Eve.

Because, you know, you have to make it the most magical of moments in the whole wide world or your coming year will be nothing but total shit. That's the concept here. The whole notion that the first few minutes of the new year has any baring on how the rest of the year is going to go. I just don't get it.



Maybe it's because I'm from the West Coast. By the time the new year rolls around on Los Angeles, New York and the majority of the rest of the world has already stepped into that time machine and is living and sleeping in 2011. Not me, in years past I've stayed at home and enjoyed Coast 2 Coast AM's new years prediction shows with Art Bell and laughed at the morons calling in.

I think the biggest travisty is the whole kissing at midnight. But that's one of the many superstitions that we seem to have about the new year. Perhaps I should get into them in this blog post. Not like I'm doing much anything else...

Kissing at midnight has its basis on the whole notion that we are suppose to kiss those dearest to us to ensure those affections are carried on through the new year. Not kissing your SO at midnight must mean that you are going to live the next 12 months with some cold feelings or it's foreshadowing problems...



The other idea is that if you don't kiss someone at midnight then you'll be lonely the rest of the year. Which seems like the catch 22 that I faced when I first got into the film industry. You needed to be a union member to get on a production. But you couldn't be a union member unless you had a certain amount of hours under your belt... So, the only way to make sure you're not lonely in 2011 is to make sure you have a date on New Years... You need a date in order to secure more dates for the future in a sense.

Yeah... So in short it's basically a chain letter that we have been carrying on as tradition all this time. Did you know the other tradition of opening all your doors and windows at midnight? See, not as popular as kissing some hottie at the party you're at, but this one sounds far more sound.

The idea is that you're letting out the old year in all the ways and aspects by opening all the doors and windows and flushing everything that the old year is potentially leaving behind will be gone. Not doing so will make it so that the old year and all that it has brought stays and the new year and all its potentially isn't allowed inside. Yes, this sounds fucking insane, but hey, it's tradition!

There's a superstition that the reason why we make loud noises at midnight is to scare away bad spirits. Again, how is it we got anything done ever with stupid shit like this floating around?



At least the next one is useful. There's a tradition in stocking up and making sure that your cupboards are filled. You're suppose to do this as a sign/example of the year to come. That you will not go hungry as you always have something around to make.

You're also suppose to make sure that your bills are paid. Which in these tough economic times is something that really is a luxury. But you're not suppose to begin the year in debt. Again, tell that to the millions who are unemployed. There's also a saying that personal debts should be settled before the new year, or again, you'll face 10 years bad luck or some bullshit.

An even more insane one is to make sure that the weather dictates the sort of year you are going to have. If the wind blows from the South, there will be fine weather and prosperous times in the year to come. If it comes from the North, then it will be a year of bad weather. From the East means that famine and calamities are a foot. Even more odd is if it blows from the West that means that the year will witness plentiful supplies of milk and fish, but will also see the death of a very important person. Finally, if there's no wind at all, a joyful and prosperous year may be expected by all.

Oh yeah, you know that song you butchered while attempting to sing at midnight? It's a fucking Scotsman poem and it's called Auld Lang Syne . Stop shitting it up and learn the lyrics already for fucks sakes.



It was written in 1788 and is typically sung during funerals and graduations and goodbye's in general. But of course, in this case everyone sings is poorly when the clock strikes midnight. It basically is the song when you want to send off something. The New Years has its place as burying the past year and focusing on the year to come.

To sum this whole thing up. 2011 and the way it shapes out has no baring on how you celebrated or what you did or didn't take out of your home today. Sure, a DUI last night would probably not start the new year off right, but the smaller things that this superstition suggest mean nothing. So perhaps let go those fears that you done fucked it up already.



Oh yeah, and that notion of father time and baby new year - How fucked up is that shit? So you're suggesting that 2010's baby grew at some extremely fast rate and now dies. Way to be morbid. I mean, that's some fucked up shit to only allow a kid to live 365 days.

And you call me a baby killer? Go ahead. Drink your alcoholic beverages as you so welcomed last year dies with a whimper as you embrace your new baby 2011.

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