Pumping Fuglys - The Arnold Story
In 1977, Arnold told OUI Magazine, "I can look at a chick who's a little out of shape, and if she turns me on, I won't hesitate to date her. If she's a good fuck, she can weigh 150 pounds, I don't care."
I guess that in the 33 years that he made that comment, that 150 lbs changed drastically. I mean, there's no way that rule wasn't loosened up a bit considering the latest revelations about Arnold's illegitimate baby momma.
Just look at who this pile of muscle decided to not only have sex with, but to not pay for an abortion with...
Then again, there's very little doubt in my mind that she did everything in her power to make sure that they were swimmers. What person in that position wouldn't want an instant pay check from a famous actor, governor of California?
You could almost say that she was doing it for the booty...
But arrrrrrrr, she's got one of those faces that you would wank the plank to get away from. Which I guess brings us to a better question: Why did Arnold settle for her? I mean, think about it. You're former Mr. Universe. A famous actor known the world over with a laundry list of names to choose from that are all attractive..
And you somehow choose this broad to bang on the side?
Her? HER? Really? I mean, come on! She is by far not even remotely close to being "a looker". I'm not sure what he was thinking. Maybe she reminded him of his Austrian girlfriends back when he used to cut down trees and roid up?
Because any connection to being remotely close to contemporary beauty is just out the window here. She is by far damn unattractive. At best, she's possibly something different than the Skeletor looking wife of his in Maria Shriver. But still, do you really want to down grade from that with Ol' Patty here?
Yeah, she's got a rack, but with that rack comes one hell of a Fupa. I mean, that's some really not so pleasing visuals there with her. What the hell was Arnold thinking indeed? Well, we know the answer to that. He wasn't.
The guy has some really fucked up sort of sexual apatite that just needs to be fed. He's a womenizer in the worse possible ways and even before the 2003 election happened, a lot of reports of him grabbing and doing other such things to women came out. None of that effected the election. I guess we don't care.
I'm also very shocked that this comes to a surprise to anyone. Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that this kid is NOT a younger looking Arnold?
Just look at him. If her ex husband had no clue, then he really was pretty stupid. Your wife works for Arnold and your kid comes out bench pressing the doctor. How do you not tell that your kid, who looks just like Arnold, is potentially not yours?
What one can walk away from this whole experience knowing is that no matter how ugly you are, there's always someone out there who is willing to throw you a bone every now and then. It keeps hope alive for a lot of people, I suppose. That if she could land Arnold, maybe you have a chance with those highly unattainable people out there.
Or maybe Arnold was just stoned out of his mind....