Saturday, May 7, 2011

This Mother's Day....

This Mother's Day....

Just realize that Mother's Day is another of those Hallmark Holidays and if you're not giving your dear mama a call every other week at the least telling her that her 9 months of carrying your leeching ass around didn't prove to be worth being proud of, you've got bigger issues.

But then again, if you are one of those lot who wants to give them some sort of insulting gift, by all means, follow this ad.

Nothing says Mother's day more than some hair product, some make up and a razor. Yes mother, your legs are too damn hairy and you need to shave them. Or is that just a regular razor? Oh god! Are you saying your mother has facial hair after menopause?

What you're basically saying with that is that they should break off the blades of the razor and slit their own wrist, stick the liner into their own eye hole and pump all the foam onto their lips. Because really, they're awful gifts and you're an awful person for giving them to her.

But hey, at least you have a mother. What about all those same sex male couples who adopt. No mother's day for them to be celebrated in. It's bad enough that they don't even get the ability to marry one another.. Though I guess Bill Clinton came out in favor of that recently.

Let's take a trip down memory lane..
The Defense of Marriage Act (Pub.L. 104-199, 110 Stat. 2419, enacted September 21, 1996, 1 U.S.C. § 7 and 28 U.S.C. § 1738C) is a United States federal law signed into law by President Bill Clinton on September 21, 1996 whereby the federal government defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman.
Though I guess people can change their mind within the last 15 years. And if Bill Clinton can, then maybe so can you. Make sure that you don't give your mother some shitty gift. I mean, seriously.. At best you should just call them and say thanks. Fuck the gifts, especially shitty ones like the one you're thinking of getting her.

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