American Health Care - God Fucking Damn It

American Health Care - God Fucking Damn It

Take a look at the Groupon deal that was posted and tell me that the American health care system is not completely fucked beyond belief.

My first reaction was to not believe it existed. Cause really, Jesus fucking Christ, America. I'm so sorry for the state that we are in when you literally have to buy a Groupon to hold on to in the case of an emergency.

Health for the rich... Why yes, that's a good platform. Their awesome health will trickle down, you see. It all works in the end. Besides, with this coupon for a $150 valued visit or a pre-appointment assessment appointment meeting, they should be properly covered, right?

Soon even the insured will choose to die instead of jumping through the insurance hoops that we make people go through for over priced health care. It's going to be cases where people will baby a sprained wrist for three weeks in hopes that they can get a coupon to have it checked out.

There's third world countries with better health care than the U.S. In Turkey car insurance companies have to cover stray animals hit by cars now. Stray fucking animals literally have better coverage in a 3rd world country than humans do in the U.S. I hope you have a pipe and some hash ready because this whole groupon coupon is perfect smoking material to remove yourself from how surreal this shit is.

Then again, my city often gets 50% off of pole dancing classes. So perhaps this groupon is a better health care plan. Or maybe not. One would hope that those using the pole dancing coupon don't get dance fever or pole infection.

It's utterly disgusting how flippant the description is. Someone actually got paid $9 an hour and absolutely worthless health insurance to actually write the copy in this ad.

The human body has the remarkable ability to heal itself, unless someone replaced your Cheerios with grommets and your stomach feels like a spasmodic washing machine. Hire a healing hand in emergency situations with today’s Groupon: for $70, you get a basic office visit to Urgent Care Manhattan (a $150 value).

Urgent Care Manhattan is a private practice established by board-certified emergency doctors that assesses and tends to patients experiencing minor emergencies who need immediate care seven days a week. Although no replacement exists for an emergency room in the case of a life-threatening situation, the doctors at Urgent Care Manhattan will expertly address ailments, injuries, and infections that interfere with daily life, without requiring patients to wait several weeks for an appointment or a pre-appointment assessment appointment meeting. Drs. Melrose and Shipley may write a prescription or recommend treatment to resolve medical issues or prevent future ones, or they may discern a quicker route to recovery to mitigate the impact of the situation on a patient’s lifestyle, work, or competitive whittling career.

Broken bones and sprains spring back toward recovery under the physicians’ wise tutelage, and screenings identify HIV and rare strains of strep to the unyielding demands of medical science. People of all ages may come in for an office visit, guaranteeing treatment for pediatric, elderly, and paleolithic patients.

By golly, it's a good thing the state of Illinois literally gave Groupon $300 million to hire skilled labor at minimum wage. How it works is if you want to work for Groupon you have to write a long writing sample that a group of people will look at and decide if you're wacky and unpredictable enough to work there.

In short - Death to America. Death to Capitalism.