Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Captain America: Fuck Yeah!

Captain America: Fuck Yeah!

Okay, I'll admit it. X-men first class wasn't so bad after all. In fact, it probably was one of the better X-men films that Fox has ever produced. Sure, I would have liked it if at the end Legion (Professor Xavier's bastard son) would have showed up as a time traveler, attempted to kill Magneto and failed by accidentally killing Xavier thus kicking off the Age of Apocalypse.....

But you know what, that's just the horrible comics of the 90's fan in me dreaming.

And while we have Green Lantern coming up in the pipe line as the next comic book hitting the big screen, it's sort of like we're already passed that. Especially since 8 new scenes already popped up online. it's hard not to look past that and see what's next for the super hero genre...

Namely Captain freaking America! How can anyone not be looking forward to Captain America? I mean, it's in July. You're American blood should be screaming out to say FUCK YEAH! and be all patriotic and shit. Especially after the one sheet posters came out this past weekend pimping it out.

Then you can forget that we get a better shot of Captain America's arch enemy, The Red Skull. Even if he's a metaphor towards "red" communism, you still gotta look at him and think fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Though, you have to also agree that he kind of looks like he's holding his wiener off picture and laughing while he pisses on your shoes. In fact, that's what I really hope he's doing and I sure as hell want to see that scene in the film. Red Skull pissing on your shoes.
"Ha Ha! Now vhat vill you do Mein Captain! Your boots are soaked vith mein piss!
Wow, now I'm totally expecting that and I'll be horribly let down if that doesn't happen.

Oh yeah, we get a generic love interest who gets even creepier when we figure out that the Captain America "man out of time" aspect of it is Cap hitting on his flame's grand daughter in modern day. Man, that Steve Rogers sure gets around.

So with the posters out, it's about time that the toy lines hit the shelves. How else are you going to make piles and piles of money if not by pandering to the children and selling as much toys as humanly possible? And while I realize that the options are limited on what you can actually put on Captain America and call him different, this toy that I saw at a Target just perplexed me.

It can be found also on Amazon, but essentially it's Captain America in "Winter Combat" gear...

Now don't get me wrong, while I have never actually seen Captain America ride a snowboard and shoot a rocket launcher, nor have I actually seen the film yet and don't know if that happens in a scene or something, the fact that this toy exist just is strange.

Nothing like Captain America being to chilly that he needs to resort to putting on a coat over his costume. Especially considering the mythology behind Captain America, where he was frozen in a block of ice during World War II, I guess this version of Cap feels that he really was cold the last time he was stuck in ice for 50 years and wants to take no chances of being stuck in a block of ice again without wearing the proper clothing.

That really is one smart Steve Rogers when you think about it. In any event, there's also a few new television spots. Perhaps you should enjoy those while I run out of things to say

New TV spots

And another..

Yup. That does sure looks like a swell film!

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