Tuesday, January 24, 2012



A couple of days ago I mentioned Megaupload getting shut down and the CEO, Kim Dotcom, getting arrested for it. After realizing that he named himself that I had to look him up, because really, what kind of man renames themselves that after starting an uploading website?

Sure enough, this is what I found....

And I can't help but laugh my ass off at this. That has to be one of the gooniest motherfucking nerdy internet nerds around. Yeah, sure. He is making hundreds of millions, but at least I have some self respect. Enough to not call myself Kim Dotcom.

So what exactly does the feds have on him? Oh that will surprise you...
- The US government is clinging to evidence that Megaupload's owner, Kim Dotcom, shared the song "Nah" by 50 Cent featuring Mobb Deep in 2006. Seriously. This is one of their major claims. "On or about December 3, 2006, KIM DOTCOM distributed a Megaupload.com link to a music file entitled “05-50_cent_feat._mobb_deep-nah-c4.mp3."

- Kim is a resident of Hong Kong and New Zealand. He is also a citizen of Finland and Germany.

- According to the US government, Kim made $42 million off of Megaupload in 2010.

- Private emails between Megaupload employees make it very clear that they were were running an illegal operation but didn't really care. In one exchange, an employee wrote, “We have a funny business... modern days pirates” to which another responded, “We’re not pirates, we’re just providing shipping services to pirates”

- Megaupload spent $2.4 million on yacht rentals in June 2011 alone.

- The US is looking for at least 14 Benzes, a Predator statue, two 108 inch TVs, a Seadoo, a 1957 Cadillac, a Maserati, and a Mini Cooper.

-Kim owned a Rolls Royce Phantom with a license plate that read "GOD." Some of the tags on his other cars included: GUILTY, STONED, GOOD, CEO, MAFIA, and HACKER.
Ha ha ha ha ha, the fucker is probably the most out there person I have seen. Just look at those pictures. Most of all, look at those charges they got him on. But favorite picture of these has got to be this one:

Just look at that. Kicked back in his private plane... sippin on orange juice... flashing his digital watch...

It's just the best picture ever. I mean, I would probably comment on being health conscious, but then I think of all the people exploited for rich peoples' fads and just realize that this dude just really liked orange juice. Which is sort of funny because you don't expect that to be the thing someone with a private plane would like.

Black may be slimming, but it's not THAT slimming, bro. And while I thought the picture goodness couldn't get any better, sure enough this nugget dropped:

Would you check that out? And above all else, I can't help but notice that gourmet sauce dish filled with ketchup to the side of his plate. Which leads to the question of WHY?! As far as I can tell it's fried plantain slices. But is the ketchup for the slices or for the steak? And what the fuck is up with the coca cola? Coke with some steak? You would expect a rich dude like this to have coke.. just not THAT coke.

What sort of place is this? Well, I guess a $100 head restaurant's reaction to someone ordering "burger and fries and a coke" must be strange, but then again, I don't think they really care. It's more likely that this restaurant caters to wealthy diners and specializes in ripping them off, as if they're on a cruise ship or in a resort town.

But that still doesn't explain the facial expression. I'm trying very hard to give this guy credit and pretend that's just a poorly timed photo, but after a while I am having difficulty figuring out why anyone would ever make that face when they're not completely out of breath.

Which leads to the only conclusion I can deduce... He rant out of breath while sitting down. He's like a less grotesque Kevin Smith. I mean, this guy doesn't actually wear Jorts, after all. It sort of reminds me of a morbidly obese Doug Funny, if you are old enough to remember that Nicktoons gem.

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