Thursday, January 5, 2012

We Were All Rick Rolled

We Were All Rick Rolled

Okay, stop this ride, I want to stop this ride at once because I want to know what kind of America I'm in when this:

turns into this sort of candidate

Yes, this is Rick Santorum. The dude whose last name means lube and shit mixed together. He is our new GOP's contender to do battle with the Nobel Prize Winner Barack H. Obama. There are two debates later this week and man will that be hilarious to watch what happens after the Iowa caucus. But man will that be some funny shit to see this new crown prince, New Gingrich, Willie Mitt Romney and Ronald Paulson. Because really, where the fuck did Santorum come from?

Perhaps his power lies in his sweater vest..

But you just have to remember, that even a sweater vest can not do much when you're trying to hide a gut..

Oh, who am I kidding. There is no way Santorum wins New Hampshire, Romney has got that on lock, right? I mean, it's not like Mitt spent way more than Santorum and anyone else and barely won by eight fucking points.

And when you think about it, with Bachmann and Perry out of the race, those supporters will most likely go to Santorum since both of them were pushing for the evangelical conservative Christian vote. Which I guess we should stop and reflect on that - that Bachmann is all over with. I guess that just means more Ron Paul to focus on.

If I can touch back to that 8 point difference for a moment. You know, it's not like Santorum, Romney and Paul all got the same number of delegates or anything like that..

But hey, that doesn't matter because ROMNEY WON!!!... by 8 votes in a state he's been in for 5 years. But again, none of these losers are electable. At the very least we'll now have Santorum under the spot light so we'll be getting some nicely crazy quotes to savor before he slips back into obscurity.

Oh, what am I saying, he's already putting that foot firmly into his mouth. Just look at these choice quotes Rick Santorum has said:

"It just keeps expanding. I was in Indianola a few months ago and I was talking to someone who works in the department of public welfare here, and she told me that the state of Iowa is going to get fined if they don't sign up more people under the Medicaid program. They're just pushing harder and harder to get more and more of you dependent upon them so they can get your vote. That's what the bottom line is."

Santorum then added, "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money."
Rick Santorum said:
“There are people who were gay and lived the gay lifestyle and aren’t anymore. I don’t know if that’s the similar situation or that’s the case for anyone that’s black. It’s a behavioral issue as opposed to a color of the skin issue, and that’s the diff for serving in the military.”
Rick Santorum said:
“We are not fighting a war on terrorism. Terrorism is a tactic. We are fighting a war against radical Islam...What all the radical Islamic leaders are saying is just ‘Wait America out. America is weak, they will not stand for the fight… we will be the strong horse in the region.’ President Obama, by making political decision after political decision about timelines and constraints on rules of engagement has validated everything these radical Islamists are saying.”
Rick Santorum said:
“There are no Palestinians. All the people who live in the West Bank are Israelis. There are no Palestinians. This is Israeli land.”
Rick Santorum said:
"I believe the earth gets warmer and I also believe the earth gets cooler. And I think history points out that it does that and that the idea that man, through the production of CO2 -- which is a trace gas in the atmosphere, and the man-made part of that trace gas is itself a trace gas -- is somehow responsible for climate change is, I think, just patently absurd when you consider all the other factors."

And to think, we're just getting started on all this. Hell, just recently Rick Santorum, with his daughter dying of some rare illness, has spoke of her as if she were already dead.

And once more, going back to those 8 votes, It's probably a dumb thing to get all mad about, but all day long yesterday I wanted to grab and shake all of those pundits and media morons and yell at them that THE FUCKIN' MARGIN OF ERROR IS NOT IN THE SINGLE DIGITS! So 8 points means jack shit. There's no way to suggest that Mitt won that when it's only a difference of 8 votes. They just got tired of staying up till 1 am and called it.

Though election season always makes me wish I hadn't sold my old statistics textbook for some Top Ramen money because I would love to go around beating people with it.

At the very least this whole situation is going to be comical during those upcoming debates. It's going to be a situation where Newt Gingrich's sole goal for the rest of the election is to tear down Mitt Romney and destroy him for destroying Newt's chances.

Newt knows he is not going to win, but he is going to make damn sure that he sinks Romney in the process of going down himself. Because hell hath no fury like a Newt scorned. Which, in the long run means that we're going to end up with President Santorum. Which is only fitting that our elected official carry that name and represent our nation given what Santorum means....

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