Or at least more socially acceptable. We're coming up on the day that it's completely socially accepted to get as hammered as humanly possible. St. Patty's day.
Though it's one that I don't really give much of a hoot in celebrating. Something about everyone thinking that they're Irish always gets me annoyed. Not to mention that what would have normally been a quite night at the bar sipping my libation now turned into a frat party with bros chugging green beer for the sake of some dude who ran off the snakes.
But in the spirit of making nice, especially since this year it lands on a Saturday, and that's another night I have no desire to really go into a drinking establishment due to all those "weekend warriors", I will partake in pumping up the festivities.
Sit back and enjoy a slew of quotes from famous folks about the alcohol and "art" of drinking:
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snake bite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake.
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W.C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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W.C. Fields
To alcohol: the cause of — and solution to — all of life’s problems.
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Homer J. Simpson from The Simpsons
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
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W.C. Fields, Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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Henny Youngman
Alcohol is the answer… What was the question?
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The Streets
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
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Humphrey Bogart
Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.
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Ogden Nash, Reflection on Ice-Breaking
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
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W.C. Fields
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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W.C. Fields
What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!
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Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
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Frank Sinatra
Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
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Douglas Adams
An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.
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George Jean Nathan
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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W.C. Fields
I drink to make other people interesting.
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George Jean Nathan
More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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W.C. Fields
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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W.C. Fields
It only takes one drink to get me drunk– I can just never remember if its the eighth or ninth.
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George Burns
My manager told me, Mitch, don’t use alcohol as a crutch. I can’t use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It’s more like the step I didn’t see.
Now you have some new material to quote incorrectly on St. Patty's day. Welp! Drink up, motherfucker!
My manager told me, Mitch, don’t use alcohol as a crutch. I can’t use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It’s more like the step I didn’t see.
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Mitch Hedberg
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