Sunday, May 27, 2012

America is Fat

America is Fat

So I came across this little image the other day and, well, I didn't know what else to do than to write about it.

Would you look at that, a free basket of donuts! Wow, what a great deal!. Just think, you can sit down, order nothing, then walk out with free donuts and eat them for, like, a week. Except not really, cause I'm pretty sure any sane person can't stand donuts anymore -- I know I can't. They're far too sweet for my taste.

But look at the other shit on that poster. Home of the 64oz Cola? Oh boy, now you can dunk the donuts in the cola for a delicious treat! Why yes, I'd like a donut slushie please, just dump the free basket of donuts into a blender with the cola. Make that a 64oz'er, my friend. You can call it your signature dish here at this eating establishment, Ammey!

For those of you playing at home, 64oz is like 2 liters of cola. Which I guess I should go into detail about. After high school I developed an addiction to soda. I would chug two 2-liters of Pepsi daily. Most of these would be in the form of some 7-11 big gulp or double big gulp. They were sort of cheap. A few bucks gets you a massive amount of sugar enriched soda. I'm sort of surprised I don't have diabetes.

And for those of you who want to ride that line of craziness? I would advise against it. It may sound like a solid money well spent sort of situation, but with the potential of diabetes, not really that great of a deal.

Especially since most of those are just post-mix, so it's mostly water with some cola flavored syrup in it. Cost places that sell you an endless amount of soda refills virtually nothing to operate. It's really hurting no one but yourself. Maybe this is just America defined.

I mean, I would normally say shit like "Death to America" and all, but it looks like 7-11 already is taking care of that aspect. So perhaps it's time to move on to another thing killing America, thankfully - tornadoes and national disasters are top priority right now.

Why yes, today's forecast is 100% chance of hand jobs in Florida! You do it long enough and it'll look like he's jizzing out Key West.

No comments: