Monday, May 28, 2012

In Space No One Can See You Drink Coors

In Space No One Can See You Drink Coors

In one of the oddest cross promotion marketing ad campaigns that I have come across, Ridley Scott's latest movie, PROMETHEUS is cross promoting with Coors, the silver bullet. Which makes you wonder, can a silver bullet really kill an Xenomorph? Otherwise, why didn't Ripley have more shitty beer in space?

I'm pretty sure that space marines are dumb enough to drink that shit, but is anyone else? What exactly is your game here, Weyland Industries?

I am to assume that every can of coors now comes with an alien infection and that feeling you have the next morning is not actually some side effect of drinking shitty beer the night before, but actually a chest buster that is about to wreck shit all over whatever colony you are in. Chances are if you're drinking Coors, it's your shitty track homes or some camping trip -- who the fuck DOESN'T drink that awful beer at camping trips?

Hipsters. That's who. Heineken? FUCK.DAT.SHIT. PABST BLUE RIBBON!

So anyhow, what the fuck is this tagged on bullshit all about?
To support the ongoing national launch of its Silver Bullet Aluminum Pint, Coors Light is partnering with PROMETHEUS, the summer’s scariest action event film and director Ridley Scott’s return to the genre he helped define. The co-branded 30-second TV ad is produced by Scott and his production company, RSA. The spot, titled “Do You Thirst?,” features footage from the film and will air nationally on network primetime, network and cable sports, and cable entertainment programming.
This is the sort of stuff that makes me long for the end of days. I mean, really? This is what I have to look forward to in this illustrious career in the industry? Sucking the all mighty cock of commercialization? Just look how a master handles this sort of pressure from the industry to sell out;
“Ridley and I had a fantastic time collaborating with Coors Light and its agency team on this creative,” said Jules Daly of RSA. “It was great to see how they completely embraced the film’s imagery and themes to create a truly integrated campaign.”
Why yes, I'm sure Ridley had a fantastic time collaborating with Coors. But clearly not as a fantastic time as he did cashing in that fat mother fuckin' pay check from an big beer company for sticking a god awful holographic "iconic" beer bottle in the middle of his artistic integrity.

This is the sort of stuff that just makes me want to leave the industry and reevalute my role in said film industry. Because as a socialist -- nay, a communist, I feel a little dirty in knowing that I'm in an industry that is nothing more than one big giant ad campaign for whatever it is that is sponsoring the production.

Most people think that it's the other way around. That ads like those for cleaning supplies and murder mysteries are attached to Bones because, hey, that's the key demographic that is watching. In hindsight, it's the fact that Bones exist BECAUSE those products need a vehicle to be attached to.

Your average person hates commercials. I mean they hate them with a passion. But realize that without those ads, your shows would be pointless -- if anything, they won't even exist. No point. For entertainment? HA! this whole industry is brought to you on a foundation of Johnson and Johnson or Proctor and Gamble. Nothing to hide about all that.

But hey, how far will this shit go with a sci-fi horror film? Let's see;

In addition to the national TV ad, the partnership will come to life via the Coors Light Facebook page (, where legal-drinking-age fans will be able to see the new commercial and other “Prometheus” content. The partnership also will be promoted through retail merchandising and programming. Plus, Coors Light will make it possible for consumers to attend exclusive screening events in more than 30 markets across the United States.

“Partnering with a visionary such as Ridley Scott presents a special opportunity for Coors Light to drive consumer and retailer enthusiasm for our new Silver Bullet Pint,” said Dan Hennessy, senior director of marketing for the Coors Family of Brands. “It’s clear ‘Prometheus’ is going to be the summer blockbuster movie of 2012, once again bringing Sir Ridley’s unique story-telling skills to science fiction fans. We’re thrilled to be part of the excitement surrounding this film.”

There's no part of that statement that doesn't make me want to violently puke up the contents of my lunch and dinner. "It's clear Prometheus is going to be a blockbuster, and thus, we want to attach our name to it" In no way shape or form does it even remotely make sense that the Rockies be tapped for space travel. So I don't get why even use it in such a manner?

This is what gets me. This is what, at one point in my career choice to go into this industry, I realized that I may have to sleep with the devil from time to time, but at least I can have some creative control on what products get attached to my production and have it actually relate to the story and not seem like a blatant product placement. So it's really saddening to see Sir-Ridley Scott having to get on all fours and suck cock to the almighty shitty beer companies in order to make sure that 20th Century Fox gets enough cash up front in their pockets and some more ad space on a film that, at best, is going to be a cult classic -- which rarely do gangbusters in theater box office take-ins to begin with.

I think it's about time I try my hand in a new field. Jack of all trades, master of none. . . At the very least I wont have my dignity flushed down the drain on a project twenty years in the making to just allow shitty beer companies to hop onto it.


Requieminadream said...

Despite the fact that, of course, without advertising, our favorite shows wouldn't exist.... That doesn't mean the shows aren't good. Who cares as long as I'm entertained?

Benevolent Emperor said...

Coors In Space!!!