Minority Pizza

Minority Pizza

So this is a pretty comical, or perhaps ironic twist of fate. Seems that a Pizza chain is giving away free food for minorities...

Pizza Patrón, a 104-unit, carry-out pizza chain headquartered in Dallas, is raising eyebrows both inside and outside the Latino community with a planned promotion to give away thousands of large pepperoni pizzas on the evening of June 5 to folks who order in Spanish.

One conservative group doesn't like it, either. "It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that," says Peter Thomas, chairman of the Conservative Caucus, which advocates English as the nation's spoken language. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors."

Gee, thanks capitalism! What a big fucking baby. Just watch in two years time things like this being heavily regulated to prevent white America from getting uncomfortable. Because really, all this is about is white males, getting horrendously offended whenever they're excluded from anything, no matter how trivial it may be. It's almost as though they have no experience with being told "no" or excluded before.

The funny thing about this is that they're not even being excluded. They could spend 30 seconds learning how to say "I would like a free large pizza please" in Spanish and then get their free five dollar pizza. Otherwise, as an American, my rights to free pizza are being infringed upon and THIS ACT OF AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND! It's outrageous to use a discriminatory selling practice to make a political po-



Well shit.

I'm guessing that in response to this promotion, Domino's will offer a free large pizza to anyone who can order a pizza from Domino's without breaking down and crying mid-sentence. It's gotten to the point where managers of pizza patron are already getting death threats. But hey, the internet has made me believe that people from first world countries are so impotent, insane and angry that they'll mail death threats to anybody who slightly disagrees with them on anything. I shouldn't be surprised - when your entire way of life has been born from the spilling of blood of people darker than yourself, I guess that will happen.

Fun Fact- Pizza Patron once used to take pesos throughout their chains with no problem, and they almost exclusively advertise in Spanish first on their ads. Sadly, they got in a lot of trouble for the pesos thing from bigots. Oh noes, why do expect fake monies?! They were so mad because they were enabling ILLEGALS to get a HOT CHEESE PIZZA!

You have to wonder about people who get upset by a business in the US accepting pesos. How must they feel about the US dollar being so widely accepted world wide? I guess the answer to that is "terribly offended that it is not accept by literally everyone everywhere they go."

But it's not like they're only facing resistance from the white who are being excluded, what's even funnier is that Hispanic advertising agency who's in an uproar over this because "they're making us look like those dirtier browns!"

"Maybe they thought it was a cute thing to do, but I think it's discrimination," says Marcela Gomez, president of Hispanic Marketing Group, a Latino marketing firm in Nashville. "As an advertising agency, I would never recommend this to my client."

If I'm correct, I think she referred to herself as a business. As is the case of referring to yourself in the 6th person according to the Roberts court. But hey, according to one of the few decent programs on NPR, Latino USA, newer generations are integrating into US society to the point where they don't identify as Spanish-speaking or prefer not to/can't speak Spanish at all. So it may not be the smartest ploy when reaching out to the youth, but not for the stupid bullshit reasons they mention in the article.

Oddly enough, all of this makes Pizza Patron unironically the most leftist business in the U.S. at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if it comes out that this is just a front for funneling money to the contras in that case.

The only real downside to forcing Americans to learn Spanish is that I can't insult gringos without their knowledge as much. The other downside is that we're infecting the immigrants with the virus that is being American. You see, recent Mexican immigrants to the United States are more healthy, both mentally and physically, than your average US middle class profile.

But then integration eventually makes them just as ill and unhealthy as the rest of us, too. Interesting, that it's almost as if the fabric of the United States society damages everything that it touches.