Friday, August 24, 2018

BLEEDING EDGE

BLEEDING EDGE

Yo, check this out. I'm different than the rest of you. I don't try to be different, it's just who I am. I'm always pushing the edge and jumping over the line. A habitual line stepper if you will. I just don't see boundaries, like I don't see color or shapes. You all just square to me. People often are all like, "Yo Javi, you are so edgy - perhaps you should step back from that ledge my friend." and I'm all like "Nu uh, no way Jose!"  I think that was his literal name, I dunno. But anyway. Look bud, or pal, or I mean, it just depends on who I'm talking to in how I refer to them. I'm gonna get even closer to the that ledge. I'll walk right up to it and proudly declare who I am. Edgy as fuck.  It's like, well, imagine if you weren't such a sheeple. I guess that's probably hard for you to do because you're such a conformist piece of shit. But just try really hard and imagine it.

That's exactly what it's like to be me. I know, right. flipping awesome AF.  Sometimes I dress differently than the pod people all around me. It's just the way I am. DEAL.WITH.IT.  I'm something fierce and quirky and you can't contain this level of edge, homie. So step back before you wreck yourself. Sometimes people like you will stare at me, but I'm all like, "whatever poseur." I guess my individuality scares you, right? That's because I'm full on rebel all the time. I'm not like the rest of you. I'm like on a higher plane of thought and existence than the average joe six pack. That's why no one understands me. It makes me so mysterious. Not a loser like my step-dad Kyle says, and, even though I've never talked to one, chicks fucking dig me. I'm just that smooth. I don't know what to tell you.

Oh, I see you noticed my walking stick. Yeah, I get that question a lot. It just really speaks to my soul. I don't actually have any use for it. My legs function just right. But look at this whole sweet native bead thing on the top of it.  I don't do it to be cool or anything, it's just who I am. I'm sorry that my being an individual with spiritual undertones is just too much for you to bear. Ever thought about taking off that defense of not allowing anyone NOT like yourself in, Kyle?  I didn't think so! What does mom even see in you, you're such a jerk!

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