Sunday, August 5, 2018



I mean, sure the dude has been dead for a while, but you're still standing there staring at the little box he created and pushed out so you can better get in touch with your friends by completely ignoring them in person.

Anyhow, now that Apple, the company is worth more than life itself, the news turns to different things. Namely the breaking news that Steve Jobs was a terrible human being. At least according to the testimonial by his first biological daughter. 
The excerpt also deals with Jobs turning up to his daughter's birth in 1978 and denying paternity until the district attorney of San Mateo County forced him to take a test and to produce child support.

In one telling detail, Brennan-Jobs outlines how Jobs' lawyers insisted on finalizing child-support payouts and other payments on December 8, 1980. Four days later, Apple went public and Jobs became immensely wealthy.

She also recalled believing that her father replaced his Porsche every time it had a scratch and asking whether she could have one when he got rid of it.

"You're not getting anything," she said he responded. "You understand? Nothing. You're getting nothing."

Brennan-Jobs added that her father had not been "generous with money, or food, or words."
My rich farther didn't give me a Porsche, poor me!  Look, on one hand he sounds like a rich douche. plain and simple. On the other hand, thinking that you are entitled to millions of dollars just because your father is a rich asshole, is in itself, pretty douche like. So I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree. I get it, not paying child support and totally not acknowledging or owning up to the fact that she's your daughter until a judge had to step in is pretty terrible. But whining about not getting Daddy's old scratched Porsche is some next level stupidity.

I actually command Jobs for not handing down his cash wealth to his children so easily. Teach them a lesson or two. You can't have this mentality that  you don't deserve to be a common poor person because you have a rich parentage. You're just asking for noble status in 2018 and that's pretty fucked up. We have to start pushing that more that you're not guaranteed shit in this life like those handouts. To often we seem to be in a country that expect inheritance to be a cultural expectation.

The conclusion I get is that Steve Jobs was an asshole who can kiss my ass, but his daughter can also kiss my ass as well. Besides, from what I hear about it, Steve Jobs bought a new car every six months just because of some loophole where he'd never have to have a license plate if it was a brand new car. So he drove whatever new hotness was for that exact time until, by law, he would have had to get a license plate.

Yeah, that's some really big FUCK YOU money just to get out of paying the state any license plate taxes. I also hear that he intentionally parked in handicapped parking spots all the time. Even when there was plenty of parking around. The guy was a piece of shit. No breaking news here.

Know how much of a piece of shit he was? While at Apple, he made sure to cut donations to a hilariously low amount just to save some more money for that struggling Apple fortune. I mean, the full article is comical. Especially the part where he's in bed at home while dying of cancer and carefully chooses his final words to his daughter;

"You smell like a toilet" 

FUCK! Sick savage burn. I mean, at least she took some comfort in knowing he died in the dumbest way possible. Let's talk about his cancer for a minute. He died of a potentially preventable cancer because he thought juice and sunlight would cure him. Yup. Treatment for this? Naw dawg, I can cure this sucker with some apple juice, diet supplements and acupuncture. Oh, I guess he also didn't charge his JO Crystals enough to be saved or something.

To highlight how much of a piece of shit he was - he bought a home in all 50 states to skip the line for a liver transplant after the dumb fuck tried fixing his cancer with hummus and quinoa. 

Anyway, Steve Jobs was a huge piece of shit in every possible aspect of his life. That's really all there was to it. Please stop worshiping billionaires. They're universally bad people and that also includes Bill Gates, for however many charities he donates to.

Getting rich isn't about talent or hard work or any of that other stuff. It's about being just sociopathic  enough to fuck over colleagues, competitors and the entire planet until you reach your goal of having all the power and money. I guess that's what makes his death funnier to me. He died because he was arrogant enough to assume he knew more oncologists, particularly because he could have afforded enough amazing doctors to where they not only would have cured his treatable cancer, but he probably would have been made stronger and better than he ever was before. A real shot of that hubris would go a long way.

But without question, he was a giant asshole, as anyone who paid any attention to his wardrobe full of GODDAMN FUCKING TURTLENECKS could tell you exactly that simple fact.

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