Thursday, August 23, 2018

WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE NOT EATING WELL

WHEN YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE NOT EATING WELL

Just throwing it out there, but Olive Garden is having this sort of special. Well, it's not so much a special as it is more of a punishment. For the low price of $300, you can get... well, nothing great from Olive Garden.

Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Pass promotion is back, and for year five the Italian restaurant chain is adding an annual option for $300.

Only 1,000 of the annual pasta passes will be will be sold, giving customers 52 weeks of unlimited servings of pasta, soup or salad, and breadsticks.

The Darden Restaurants Inc. DRI, -0.31% chain is bringing back the eight-week Never Ending Pasta Pass as well, with 23,000 available for $100. The deal applies for eight weeks starting Sept. 24.

Never Ending Pasta Passes will be available for purchase on Aug. 23 at 2 p.m. Eastern time, for 30 minutes. The passes have sold out in seconds in years past.

Would you look at that! The ultimate in bad use of $300 happens later today, you better jump on it for the 30 minute window that it is offered! I mean, they do say that in the years past, it has sold out in seconds. To whom? I have no clue and I honestly don't want to meet the person who will take advantage of this sort of offer. It just sounds like a bad endless bottomless pasta show down you can possibly have.

Olive Garden is just flat out now very good. I really can't see myself being excited to eat unlimited amounts of it for a couple of weeks, let alone a year. Hell, I don't think I would even accept getting paid $300 to eat a year's worth of that food. It's just not good in the slightest bit. Though, I guess if I was down on my luck and homeless, $300 for all the meals to be covered for a year may be a solid plan. Though I would have to really question the mental awareness of such action.


Like, seriously, if you want to feel like a garbage person, just go to Oliver Garden and eat a plate of Alfredo and their bread sticks. It's just a pile of carbs with butter, cream, and enough cheese on top of it to forget how shitty your life really is.

Though, maybe I'm too tough on the chain. Most American food chains are garbage and I just have to accept the fact that I'm not like most folks and I know a thing or two about quality. I'm sure there's folks who think Olive Garden is some fancy as hell place and they'd love to take a date there. We all have to start somewhere and maybe I'm just too harsh on it all.

Let's lay it out there. Olive Garden is always unbelievably busy every night of the week for some reason whenever I pass by one. It's sort of like how other chains that make something inoffensive offerings regardless of where you find yourself. It's the cheesecake factories of the world, I hate that place and the menu is the size of a phone book, but they get packed like crazy because it's a one stop shop to take a lot of different mouths that have different cravings.


Then again, maybe I'm just making fun of this offer because I'm afraid of commitment. That's why I'm alone and sad. That and I'm sure I don't have enough fancy clothing to wear to go to Olive Garden every day of the week. Besides, that $300 don't cover tip and man, that's going to rack up the debt right there.

While I have a negative reaction to Olive Garden, the company has targeted advertising pushing the idea that it's a quality restaurant, and if you weren't in a city, it was actually one of the fanciest places you probably could hit up when you felt like your dead end town didn't have much to offer. It's just a business model in the end and this is just a way to do that sort of Gym membership in hopes that you don't come every day to eat, and even if you did, pasta is so cheap and the idea that you will come alone to eat is silly. So they are assuming they'll get some turn around business on this in the long run.

Either way, spending $300 on this seems like an option if you really like pasta and just want to eat it until you die for the year because like I said earlier, pasta is dirt cheap. Like a buck at the market. Just imagine how long that box of pasta will last you? See, you don't have to go some place where you feel like family.

But, I mean, don't let me stop you from bad choices.

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