Thursday, April 15, 2010

No New Taxes

No New Taxes!

When I was young I would take a look at my father do his taxes and I would be proud of him. When it came time for April 15th, he didn't ACTUALLY do his taxes, you see, he just got an extension. But he would be rushing at the last possible minute to actually get that extension. Hey, if you're going to put something off, you might as well put it off till the last possible moment, right?

So to those of you who are waiting for 11:59 to get your federal income, or even your extension post marked, I stand up and cheer for your honesty in being a true American and being completely lazy. Way to put off for tomorrow what you should have done two months ago.

You know what, stop your bitching, people. Americans barely pay any taxes as it is compared to a lot of the other other countries... why the hell are all these people bitching like the government is taking half their paycheck?

In all truth, the average American probably has a tax rate comparable to a lot of "socialist" countries, he just gets much less for it since military spending and corporate largesse are just redistribution to the rich. Don't forget that we have a 12%ish regressive tax on top of oridinary income taxes.

Most Americans wouldn't be whiny bitches if taxes were actually put to better use. Too bad they're their own worse enemy because they support the very things that cause taxes to be so inefficient. Really, the only thing we can do as Americans is establish a Technocracy and then purge America of its retarded-by-choice.

I'm also laughing at the fact that if you haven't figured out how to play the game and fuck the system out of your money by paying absolutely no taxes like 49% of Americans. Right wing commentators have been pointing this outrage out all week. Why have you not been paying attention?

Just think about all the money that goes towards fueling terrorism... Oh, I meant the U.S. Armed forces... Whoops! Yes, you're directly funding the imperialist war machine with every tax dollar you pay. But don't worry, if you have a diamond wedding ring you already have blood on your hands.

Though, I do have some problem with the money that is withheld from your paycheck. I mean, yeah. It's just putting money aside for your taxes. But just think of this interest-free loan you're giving to the federal government here to just hold on to that money for all that time. You know how much you could make if you just invested it? Thanks a lot, U.S. government.

Look at me, I can afford a $125,000 Mercedes Benz but I can't afford my taxes! I have to say that if you don't know how to file a tax form, you have an education of a child. The tax form is really not that difficult. It's actually no more complicated than the census and that only comes around once every decade!

So.. yeah. I sort of run out of things to say here. You could make a joke about how the IRS has audited my humor, but then again - when have I been funny?

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