Monday, April 26, 2010

In The Year 2000!

In The Year 2000!

Since Coco came through town on his Banned from Television tour this past weekend and the news broke that he will be going to TBS for his new show in November, I thought it would be a nice time to focus on one of his segments. Yes, I do believe it's time to look into the future - The Future?! -Yes, the future. All the way to the year 2000!

What's scary is that I remember watching Conan as a young teenager when all these predictions to the future were actually that, the future. Instead of them all being predictions to the past. But it's not for me to decide. You see, today I have the help of some German Chocolate company to help look all the way into the future... Into the year 2000!

So click on the image and you too will see what the world of 2000 has in store for us!

A Quick Stroll on the Water

What is water to say that we can't tame it and walk all over it. 90% of this planet is water after all. I'll be damned to hell before I give into not being able to walk it. Thankfully in the year 2000 we will all have the means to walk on that clear land we can drink.

The Moving Pavement

I think this is like escalators but with just slabs of floor. In the future we'll be so lazy we wont even want to walk places. Come on slab of concrete, take me places! I'm not sure what appeal this held for the people of the 1900's, but hey, whatever floats your concrete slab, peeps.

House-Moving by Train

I'm not even sure what's the point of this. To move whole city blocks to other cities blocks? I'm not sure exactly. Maybe this is just a grand scale version of mobile homes?

Televised Outside Broadcasting

Slap 3D on that sucker and it'll make millions more! That's what I say!

Personal Flying Machines

Oh please, don't let the future be filled with flying women! A driving one already killed my car. I don't want to see

Weather Control Machine

This one is odd. My limited German it has the label that says "Deutsche Kakao" (German cocoa). Is it spraying cocoa powder into the air? that would be utterly awesome.. and disturbing. I mean, I don't want to drown by chocolate. I'm not a woman, after all.

Combined Ship and Railway Locomotive

Why would you even need this? Do they think that it would actually work the way that they think it would? The folks in the1900's sure didn't realize how deep water was. This is like putting a plane on a boat.

Undersea Tourist Boats

Nothing better than being in a glass dome boat under water. Titanic was thought up by these fools.

Roofed Cities

Now, I'm not sure what the purpose of this is. I mean, don't you have the weather chocolate controller at your disposal? And where would those personal air planes land if the roof is there? Hmm, maybe this will be sort of roof top parking? Still seems silly. How will they light the place?

Personal Airships

No thank you. No need for these with the above mentioned roof cities.

Summer Holidays at the North Pole

What pussies will the people in the year 2000 be that they need to go to the North Pole when it's hot in their own area? besides, Santa's not even going to be there.

Police X-Ray Surveillance Machine

Something about this just seems voyeuristic. That cop isn't doing much about this crime in progress but watching. I'm not even sure how this even works out right. So the thing sees through walls and then what? Why couldn't they just use that projector television in the early shot?

And so you have it. That's your sneak peak into the world in the year 2000! Oh man, I can't wait for such a day!

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