Thursday, December 23, 2010

Calling All Grinches

Calling All Grinches

If yesterday's update about tits didn't fill you with Christmas cheer, then perhaps you're beyond repair and totally anti-Christmas. I may have to report you to the new Grinch Alert! Now all you suckas are gonna pay!
Have you encountered a “Grinch” this Christmas season? Share your experiences here at! Here, you can nominate businesses and organizations that shut-out expressions of Christmas in their interactions with the public via marketing, advertising and public relations. When companies use misplaced political correctness to halt the celebration of Christmas, they belong on the “Naughty List.”

We also want to know which companies are celebrating Christmas with excitement and meaning–especially those who keep Christ in Christmas where He belongs! Those companies and organizations will be placed on our “Nice List.” Help us preserve Christ this Christmas.
The Dallas Observer reports that every morning on KCBI-FM radio, Jeffress will read the names of businesses submitted to his Naughty and Nice lists

It's pretty clear that the war on Christmas is in full swing. I wonder if they'll create a draft to enlist soldiers.

I have to wonder though, isn't the Grinch all about celebrating Christmas in whichever method you want? So... wouldn't calling folks who don't particularly celebrate Christmas in a catholic manner be a little off?

Besides that, I'm not sure if I remember the story correctly, but I don't think Christ was even mentioned once in all of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" by Dr. Seuss. So this whole thing seems like a really strange concept to link the two together.

Even more so since if you look at the story, the Grinch steals all the Who's shit and they some how come together to celebrate and be thankful for each other, which I'm not sure if I'm missing something, is not anything close to stomping into your local Bed, Bath and Beyond with your 20% mailer and causing the employees to want to kill themselves for taking a retail job during the holiday season.

Why yes, young children, for you see the underpaid Walmart employee's heart grew three sizes that day. But since he didn't have health insurance under the companies no-unions clause, he died of an aortic dissection. If you want to look for more undertones, you could always point out that the "who's" down in "whoville" actually refer to our forgotten ghettos.

Shouldn't we instead publicly shame everyone who has one of those white Jesus babies out in their front lawns? Jesus wasn't white and he sure as hell wasn't born in December. Do you know how fucking cold it gets in the desert in the winter? Fuck if some lying virgin is going to be giving birth in that ice blast.

But if you look past all that religious shit you'll see it's at least a time to come together with those you care about and celebrate the winter being here. It was a pagan holiday after all. And in one final push towards having a good holiday.. and if this doesn't work, I don't know what will. I bring you the entirety of the best possible Christmas special around.

Oh yeah, Santa isn't real.

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