Saturday, December 11, 2010

Not So Super Heroes

Not So Super Heroes

Did you watch that one movie Kick-Ass? You know, the one with the little purple haired girl who stabbed people and kicked all the ass while the would-be-hero was just some whiny little bitch? Yeah, the Mark Millar 12 year old circle jerk film.

Well, this is the real life version of that. Only I hope these people don't get out of the coma they'll get put into after some real life thug beats the ever living shit out of them

Police alerted to 'superheroes' patrolling Seattle

Vigilante justice has come to Seattle, and the caped crusaders drive a Kia

Seattle police say a group of self-described superheroes have been patrolling the streets at night trying to save people from crime. They call themselves the Rain City Superhero Movement and say they're part of a nationwide movement of real-life crime fighters.

The national website -- cited in a police bulletin sent to Seattle officers Wednesday -- states "a Real Life Superhero is whoever chooses to embody the values presented in super heroic comic books, not only by donning a mask/costume, but also performing good deeds for the communitarian place whom he inhabits."

Police say the "costume-wearing complainants" are lucky they haven't been hurt.

In one instance, police say a caped crusader dressed in black was nearly shot when he came running out of a dark park. In another case, a witness on Capitol Hill saw the crusaders wearing ski masks in a car parked at a Shell station and thought they were going to rob the place.

Police got the license plate and found those masked characters drove a Kia Fate registered to one of the character's godmothers, department staff said. She told police her godson goes around doing good deeds.

Costume includes ballistic cup

Investigators identified nine people dressed in costume going around Seattle after dark. A police source said the characters go by Thorn, Buster Doe, Green Reaper, Gemini, No Name, Catastrophe, Thunder 88, Penelope and Phoenix Jones the Guardian of Seattle.

But don't listen to Captain Ozone or Knight Owl, police were told. They're apparently not part of the group.

Officers have learned the true identity of Phoenix -- a 22-year-old man whose costume includes a black cape, black fedora, blue tights, white belt and mask. Police say he's often driven by a young woman not in costume.

Officers say she usually doesn't get out of the car, instead letting the "superhero" do his thing.

Phoenix was interviewed by detectives this month and came to police headquarters dressed in most of his costume, police said.

"(Phoenix) apologized for not being in full costume, as it was being repaired after (he) was stabbed while trying to intervene with a drug dealer and a citizen," the police bulletin stated, according to a police source.

The man was not seriously wounded during the incident under Interstate 5, and police say he may not have actually been wounded.

Now, police were told Phoenix wears body armor, a ballistic vest, arm and leg trauma plates -- and a ballistic cup. Police were apparently told that bulletproof vest helped stop a bullet during an incident in Tacoma a year ago.

Others are expected to be at police headquarters this week for identification.

"I don't condone people walking around on the street with masks," said the man who called himself Phoenix Jones. "Everyone on my team either has a military background or a mixed martial arts background, and we're well aware of what its costs to do what we do."

Jones said he would talk in greater detail after a television news story is broadcast this weekend by our news partner, KOMO/4.

Keeping in superhero fashion, he didn't leave a return number.

Police say another incident with the self-proclaimed superheroes came about 3 a.m. Nov. 4 at Sixth Avenue and South King Street in the International District.

Police responded to a harassment complaint and found Phoenix the Guardian of Seattle dressed in a "black colored Batman costume and a black ski mask," department spokesman Jeff Kappel said.

He was standing with four other men and one woman, all in costume with their faces covered by ski masks and bandanas. They were dealing a man making threatening statements and swinging a golf club.

Police took the golf club as evidence. The "costume-wearing complainants" refused to press charges because they didn't want to identify themselves to officers, Kappel said. So the suspect walked.

Dangers of vigilante justice

"There's nothing wrong with citizens getting involved with the criminal justice process -- as long as they follow it all the way through," Kappel said, adding they want people to call 911 and be good witnesses, even if a case goes to court.

Police say they don't want people who aren't sworn officers putting themselves in danger.

They point to an unrelated case earlier this year in Maple Leaf. A man in his late 40s was working on his rental property near Northeast 77th Street and 16th Avenue Northeast when he saw men prowling his vehicle.

The man fought the prowlers and was winning, but one was able to inflict two knife wounds 3-inches deep. Large amounts of blood covered his clothes when medics arrived, and police say the man nearly died.

In another Northgate case from 2008, a man shot a car prowler who was trying to steal his stereo. The prowler died, and the suspect was charged with manslaughter. He's out now, but was sentenced to nine months in prison.

A member of the Rain City Superhero Movement told police the "superheroes" carry Tasers, nightsticks, pepper spray, but no firearms.

Police say they hope the self-proclaimed superheroes act as good witnesses instead of putting themselves in danger. The bulletin said a KOMO/4 news crew plans to follow the caped crusaders Friday night.

According to the national superhero website, the characters don't have to engage in violent fights to be a crime fighter, but should embody the values presented in super heroic comic books.

"Inspiration plays a major role in this, of course," character Entomo wrote on the page. "You can inspire people to believe in a symbol.

"You can inspire people to believe they can CREATE themselves a symbol and embody it --- and it's not a lie."
At this moment I finally realize why the comic book world has super villains... It's because they simply want to beat the ever living shit out of these would-be-heroes. I seriously want to make it my mission to kill them all for the sole purpose of doing so.

Also, I'm pretty sure you want to turn to a life of crime.. or at least murder after reading that whole article. Sorry about that.

I mean, on the one hand I have to say Fuck Vigilantes. But on the other hand, fuck cops more! I guess I can admit that these people are a million times better than cops because they dress like total idiots and they wont only get a slap on the wrist if they kill a black man or do something against the law.

I doesn't take much to be better than the police. If you haven't murdered any civilians recently, then congrats, you're better than the Seattle police department and much better than the Oakland legal system.

In fact, that is the cause these heroes should take up. They should be super heroes that keep an eye on the police and tells everyone what they are up to in order to be held accountable to the people who pay their pay checks. Then again, more people are interested in the tea party and their rants about how Obama is a Socialist Muslim who was elected illegally and needs to show his birth certificate.

Wait, I just realized.. these aren't superheroes at all. They're just trying to be regular heroes. Superheroes would imply that they had super powers. They don't. If you read comics at all you would know all this sort of stuff.

The article doesn't say anything more of their actions than give one example where there acts of heroism is simply bugging some guy with a golf club who was likely scared of all the freaks in costumes on a day not Halloween.

That and jack Granny's Kia.

If they wanted to be real heroes for our day and age, they'd go around killing the rich, throwing bank owners off their towers and give out the spoils of war to the poor. All they're doing dressing up and getting out there escalating more conflicts.

I wonder how long it'll take before there's a news report about one of these heroes getting shivved or shot.

And even if they were actual superheroes, they would be missing the point anyway. They would only be treating the symptoms. True superheroes fight capitalism. As that's where all the problems we face are coming from. Don't believe me? Think about it....

Not to mention that you cant' really apply comic book logic to real world scenarios. This group of superheroes, if they ever find a real crime and detain them, would provide no help to the police or our crippling inept legal system by being a witness because that would require using their real names. Which would be an act of revealing their secret identities, allowing the person to walk from the crime alleged.

So I just have to ask, how are they going to be part of the solution? Let's just leave grandma's Kia in the drive way..

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