Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Holiday Gift Ideas No One Wants

Holiday Gift Ideas No One Wants

I know it's only a couple of days before the big miracle of big baby Jesus' birth and all, the time of year where we celebrate with massive amounts of consumer spending to stimulate the economy - just like God would have wanted it.

But it's times like this where it's last minute shopping that could get you in trouble. May I suggest that whatever you do, do not get anyone this AVATAR FLESHLIGHT for the holidays.

There's even fucking a Fleshlight review for it. Who the hell takes a job that is based around reviewing pornographic sex toys? I mean, seriously? I don't think I've ever looked at a fleshlight, or anything other than a vagina and felt the burning question come through my mind on how my penis would feel in that. Most of all, I don't see how if you were the type to be dis-concerning to want to fuck a plastic tube that you would then think it would be a whole lot better if the thing came in blue.

Also, I do have to laugh at the fact that they were too afraid of James and decided to call it the Fleshlight Alien. Way to jump away from that potentially crushing lawsuit, makers of a strange sex toy, dudes.

So yeah, if you have a nerd in your life who you feel needs to get laid, just have sex with them. You really shouldn't resort to making them get some Na'vi replica sex out of a sex toy. And if they can't get off with a human fleshlips, then perhaps you should pick your friends better.

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