Least Surprising News Article From Last Week

Least Surprising News Article From Last Week

Do you remember that one female lawyer who took the job of police chief in Mexico two months ago because it was a job no one else wanted?



Yeah.. it turns out that there's a reason why no one else wanted that job.

Mexico is today mourning the death of a female police chief, the latest victim of a seemingly unending drug war between gangsters and the authorities.

Hermila Garcia, 38, became the top law enforcement officer in the town of Meoqui only two months ago.

One of a small number of women who have had the bravery to take on the drug cartels, she was gunned down at 7.20am on Monday.

She was attacked as she drove to work by herself.

Garcia, a lawyer by profession and single with no children, was one of a handful of women who have taken leadership roles in police departments in towns where men have stayed away because of fear.

The most high profile of these is 20-year-old Marisol Valles Garcia, a student who became police chief of Praxedis, in the Juarez valley, also in the state of Chihuahua.

'La Jefa', as she was known, didn't carry weapons or have bodyguards. But her security ideology has proven fallible.

What I'm trying to get at is that it didn't end well. It's only a matter of time before we hire Blackwater/Xe to replace all the cops in Mexico and attempt to get this shit in control... Though of course we wont be able to. Because it's nothing something we can do anything about. I mean, it's not like our war on crime is going any better.

But yes, this has to be some of the least surprising news possible. And that's saying a lot considering congress still doesn't give a shit about unemployment with just a couple of weeks before Christmas.



I wonder if she thought it would be like in the movies and she would clean up the streets without any weapons or any means of security. I mean, who thinks like that? Do you see Doctors walk around with medicine curing illnesses? What the fuck was she thinking not having a gun or security protection?

It's really hard to overstate how shitty the situation is in Mexico with the drug lords. Even with heavily armed troops coming in to support the police, it's not making a shit of a difference in the matter. Look at this following



Ah a Ford. It's good to see the Mexican drug wars are benefiting from Detroit automakers and Gun companies. Gotta keep that money moving, is what I say!

Oh wait, I'm pretty sure that I'm wrong on the guns aspect. More than likely they are Chinese made. I mean, you can't really compete with those prices. Oh well, we should get our people on that and make sure that drug cartels buy American. Gotta keep our workers working.

But it leaves one big question unanswered... who will be the new police chief? I wouldn't worry if I were you. When one female detective without a care in the world and a can-do attitude dies in a hail of gunfire, there's always a more younger, hotter police chief for America's proxy wars to kill waiting in the wings...

One reason Marisol Valles Garcia did not have much competition for the police chief job could be that her predecessor's head was left in front of the station a few days after he was kidnapped.

Another reason could be that a fifth of the population of Praxedis Guadalupe Guerrero, a dusty, sun-baked town on Mexico's border with Texas, has fled a wave of killings and burnings that have made this one of the most violent places on Earth.

It may also have been related to the fact that drug cartels tend to give police officers a choice of "plomo o plata", lead or silver, death or corruption – which is not much of a choice: if you take the plata, a rival cartel will likely fill you with plomo.

It's only a matter of time before this one ends up as an article in the god damn daily mail and subject of my next least surprising news from last week posting.

I mean, there's far better ways to commit suicide than that. Imagine how fucked up that job interview must be "Well, we looked at your application and compared your resume to the other applicants and there's good news for you and your child because you got the job to get killed and also maybe everyone else gets killed as well! At the very least you'll be dealing with a ransom before you're raped and beheaded.. or beheaded and raped. or raped, beheaded and then raped again."

Though what are they really suppose to say? "Sorry, you're too hermosa for this job, muy-cha-cha" and go on to hire a fat sweaty dude to die in her place? Equality, bitches!