Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Kim Kardashian Dies...

Kim Kardashian Dies...

on the internet. Yes, I know, it was pretty mean to tease you with such an attention grabbing headline like that, but it was needed, especially to make this point. It seems that Kim Kardashian has died on the internet.

For those of you confused on what the fuck that actually means, let's explain
Kim Kardashian Is Dead, Says Ad

Kim Kardashian is dead, in the social network universe that is–at least temporarily. Kardashian is one of several celebrities who are quiting Twitter and Facebook temporarily to raise at least $1 million to support a project of Alicia Keys’s Keep a Child Alive charity.

In an ad for the Digital Life Sacrifice event, Kardashian pretends to be dead while inside a coffin, which, according to Keys, signifies the “death” of the celebrity’s online life. The ad says in bold face that “Kim Kardashian is dead,” with a caption below that reads: “Kim sacrificed her digital life to give real life to millions of others affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India. That means no more Facebook or Twitter until we buy her life back.” The ad then calls on fans to “Visit or text ‘KIM’ to ’90999′ to buy her life now.”

The campaign is part of Keep a Child Alive’s commemoration of World AIDS Day on December 1. Aside from proponent Keys and Kardashian, other celebrities who are part of the campaign include Lady Gaga, Usher, Justin Timberlake, and Jay Sean.
So starting December 1st, Which is World's Aids Day, Kim and a lot of other celebrities such as Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake and so forth will go dark from social medias like Facebook and Twitter. Only returning when their fans have donated 1 million dollars to Alicia Key's Aids foundation.

The ad then calls on fans to "Visit or text 'KIM' to '90999' to buy her life now. She's not going to do anything else online until people donate a collective amount of 1 million to the charity. At which point she'll start broadcasting what she's doing at whatever moment it is. From taking her small dogs on a walk to eating froyo. I know, aren't you excited?!

How exactly is this suppose to be an incentive to donate money to them? I will give AIDS researchers as much money as I could if they kept Kim Kardashian off any form of media forever. A blackout of her from all media would be a much more desired world goal.

What is with that picture anyway? Like, did she die in the coffin? I never claimed she was any good actress... shit, why is she famous to begin with? But that's just some terrible posing. Has she ever seen an open casket before?

I'm sure such a donation campaign to keep her off twitter and facebook would go well beyond the yearly budget for AIDS research and be enough cash to get a cure for cancer as well. Otherwise this campaign is as much of an ego stroke than AIDS awareness. Oh, you see, they love my inane stupid dribble so much that they'll pay a million dollars to hear my pointless updates again! Self sacrificing my e-persona for Africa was worth it!

Just speaking hypothetically here, but how much money would it actually take to make her really actually die? I'm just saying.. You know. Not like I'm planning anything... In no way would I want to have someone C-list celebrity who is famous for... well, for being famous apparently and nothing more, to be accidentally killed. It would be a tragic thing if that were to happen.

Wait a second, why the fuck is she famous anyway? From what I can tell, she's the daughter of some O.J. lawyer who had a sex tape with Ray J and has a big ass, which landed her a show on E!. So really, that's why she's famous? Oh for the love of Ray J....

Can I be honest? I'm not a fan of her ass. I mean, it's just.. way to fucking big for her frame. Not that I'm an ass man anyway. I've always enjoyed sweater puppies far more than a big poop shoot. But her ass just looks so comically ridiculous that I can't look at it with a serious face.

And let's be real for a second, $1 million dollars? Really? Just ONE million? Don't these people make millions of dollars with relative ease? Can't these celebrities open their wallets as well? Or maybe the simple fact that they're lending their time to an organization is enough of a sacrifice in not flipping on their blackberry or laptops to log onto the net.

Maybe this campaign should focus on how these celebrities are grossly overpaid in the face of research and other organizations who suffer with a lack of budget for their research to help cure illnesses and disease in the US.

I suppose the problem is that this campaign isn't targeted to me. it's targeted to those stupid people who for some reason actually care about getting updates from Kim Kardashian and Lady Gaga and for some odd reason don't give a shit about AIDS. Maybe it's because they are young. Who knows. These people are fairly dumb so perhaps a stunt like this will get them to donate.

So in a sense they are hold their fans ransom so that they'll hurry up and donate money or not hear what they are doing daily. Then you have to realize that those folks who actually will be effected by this publicity blackout probably aren't even old enough or successful enough to give money to a charity.

And what are the implications of this whole campaign in terms of sending a message. That unless you're on a social media life facebook or twitter updating folks with 140 characters at a time, you aren't anyone. You're dead to society and provide nothing useful to the world?

Then again, she could probably have used those social media outlets to inform her fans that they could have just put the donation on their Kim Kardashian Kredit Kard.
NEW YORK ( -- As Americans ditch their credit cards and look for debt-free ways to manage their spending, even celebrities are cashing in on the rush to prepaid cards.

The Kardashian sisters -- best known from their reality TV show "Keeping up with the Kardashians" and famous for their stylish clothes and luxurious lifestyles -- are the latest stars to launch a prepaid card, following in the footsteps of Carmen Electra, Russell Simmons, Usher and Hilary Duff.

But just because Kim Kardashian is now smiling at you as you swipe your Kardashian Kard, doesn't mean you're going to be smiling when you find out how much you're really paying for these glitzy cards.

While regular bank debit cards are typically free and don't charge any fees, a 12-month Kardashian Kard costs $99.95 just to own, including a card purchase fee of $9.95 and 12 monthly fees of $7.95. After the first year, consumers must continue to pay the $7.95 monthly fee.

On top of these initial fees, it costs Kardashian Kard users $1 every time they add money to their card, and it costs $1.50 to speak with a live operator. If they want to pay their bills automatically using the card, they'll be charged $2 per transaction.

In exchange, consumers can make payments online, over the phone or in stores without racking up credit card debt or overspending their checking accounts. That had made them increasingly popular among consumers who don't qualify for credit cards, are fed up with skyrocketing interest rates or are young and just entering the world of plastic.

"The card has all sorts of fees that make it enough to stay away from, and it hit a chord with me because I'm a parent and I don't know if I want that kind of lifestyle being promoted among kids," said Bill Hardekopf, CEO of

"Those girls are very popular, so kids are going to go to parents and say, 'I want one of these cards,' and the parents may say, 'hey, this is a great way to show little junior how to start doing this,' without knowing whether it's a good deal or not. But it's a terrible deal."

But it's a great deal for the Kardashians, who get a significant cut of the fee revenue generated from the cards and get to extend their name recognition.

"None of these celebrities are going to get rich off of these cards -- they're already rich to begin with," said Ron Shevlin, a senior analyst at Aite Group. "For the most part, this is an absolutely incredible publicity play."

Shevlin said that by putting a prepaid card in the hands of their target audience, the Kardashians are attracting advertisers to their show who will come up with special deals and discounts that Kardashian fans can then hop online and use their Kardashian Kard to buy.

"I'm very convinced this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to celebrity prepaid cards," said Shevlin. "It's an integrated marketing play that is appealing to a lot more than just the Kardashians."

Some government officials are so concerned that they are speaking out against the new card.

"Among the prepaid debit cards now on the market, the Kardashian Kard is particularly troubling because of its high fees combined with its appeal to financially unsophisticated young adult Kardashian fans," said Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal in a warning issued Friday. "Keeping up with the Kardashians is impossible using these cards."

Plenty are trying, though. A spokeswoman for Sunrise Community Banks, the holding company for the issuer, University National Bank, said the card's website has been receiving thousands of visitors a day, "many of whom register for a card."

In fact, the amount of money loaded on prepaid cards in the U.S. shot up 33% to $24 billion last year, from $18 billion in 2008. Volume is expected to hit $104 billion by 2014, according to a report from research firm Aite Group.

"Prepaid card issuers started out by targeting the lower income and under-banked, and now we're seeing the teen market and college market being targeting," said Gail Hillebrand, a senior attorney at Consumers Union. "The cards are touted as safer than cash and easier than a regular bank account, but in the end it's going to cost more than a bank account and there is more risk assumed."

That's because, like the new Kardashian MasterCard, prepaid cards are loaded with charges -- including activation fees as high as $40, monthly fees of up to $10, paper statement fees of as much as $5.95, inactivity fees up to $9.95 and customer service fees as high as $3.95.

And most prepaid cards don't offer the same protections as debit and credit cards.

If fraudulent charges appear on your account or your card is lost or stolen, you might not be able to get your money back. And because your card is not associated with a bank account, your money is also less likely to be FDIC insured, meaning that there is not guarantee you will get your money back if your card issuer fails.

If you're worried about spending money you don't have but want to avoid dishing out thousands of dollars in hidden fees and risking weak protection, Hillebrand recommends getting a debit card instead.

"You don't even have to get or use the checks that come with your debit card," she said. "But the truth is, if you're not ready for a checking account, you're not ready for a prepaid card either."

But remember, ditching your Kardashian Kard will cost you another $6.
You know, if someone offered me a pile of money to put my face on a card so they can rip off the poor, I'd like to think that I wouldn't accept it. I really would. Not sure if I could turn down piles of cash, morals aside, but let's just say I wont have a huge fucking smile on my face on said card.

But you see that they're nickle and dime'ing you all the while and you're still going to toss in money for their charity? How about they just use some of the profits they make off fucking over those who don't have a credit card and need to resort to pre-paid credit cards in order to have some plastic.

While I'm all for AIDS awareness, how about we just not reach that million dollar mark so we can be free of these smug pricks for at least a while.

1 comment:

Team O'Connor said...

I randomly found your blog and loved every word. Please start the 'Keep Kardashian Dead AIDS Awareness Fund'. I'll throw in the first 20 bucks. I think you could raise a shit ton more money than Alicia Keyes.