Wednesday, April 4, 2012



I suppose this is a significant number. Actually it's not. If I was ten years older I would probably be giddy and think that somehow I fit in the universe and everything made sense. But since I'm just ten years short of being the ultimate answer, I'll just settle with trying to enjoy my birthday that actually lands on a Saturday this year....

Which is odd because the one year I could probably do something for my birthday is the one year I really have no desire to do anything. Maybe take a hike. Get away from it all and just get some self reflection going as it has been a very rough six months.. or shit, even more. Let's just say 31 was not a very pleasant age. Though I'm pretty sure my age had nothing to do with it.

I mean, generally around birthdays I don't have much to really feel happy about. I'm usually very stressed about something or other. Typically of the fact that I'm getting older and it seems like those life goals are just inching further and further away. This year it has been a bit bad with those feelings but it's also been a factor that a lot of other forces just came in and made those normal birthday blues seem like a moot point.

Maybe I have come to the conclusion that things will eventually work themselves out in the long run. A sort of zen moment of how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb type of thing... Well, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Besides that, life is getting too short for this whole sort of regrets to kick in. Best of all, 32 isn't so bad.. since Apparently 33 is where it's at..
Here's a wildly simple, profoundly interesting question: At what age are you happiest? According to a recent survey, the answer is 33.

Friends Reunited, a U.K. website, found that 70-perfect of respondents over the age of 40 said they did not find true happiness until they were 33 years old

Okay, could I stop this article real quick and just say W.T.F. True happiness? Really? You're not selling the drama a little bit on this one by calling it "true happiness"? I mean, that's a bold fucking statement. But hey, let's see why they feel that 33 is this magical number of pure bliss and awesomeness?
"That age is enough time to have shaken off childhood naivety and the wild scheming of teen-aged years without losing the energy and enthusiasm of youth," Donna Dawson, a psychologist, told Fox's Washington D.C. affiliate. "Innocence has been lost, but our sense of reality is mixed with a strong sense of hope, a 'can do' spirit, and a healthy belief in our own talents and abilities."

As the site pointed out, Jesus Christ was crucified at age 33. Oh, and "33-year-old celebrities like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Maroon 5 front man Adam Levine and Katie Holmes seem to be enjoying a wealth of success right now."
Wait. I'm going to stop this shit right here and now and just laugh at this shit. Okay, so maybe a few celebrities are having a blast, but let's not say that Jennifer Love Hewitt was just slumming it along all these years till she hit her peak at age 33. She just fucking turned that age. There's nothing to say that at age 40 she won't win herself a god damn Oscar for her massive tits or something and then suddenly, age 40 is the new 33 is the new 24 and what not.

And do I really want to look forward to being the same age as anyone on Maroon 5? I mean, really? I doubt that being 33 had anything to do with those actors hitting any sort of stride. Otherwise the same could be said for any age for any group of actors that are in said age range. It's just stupid. Causation and all that jazz.

So is there others who have some proof of 33 being the bee's knees?
Even non-celebrities agree."It's the sex, definitely," Christine Possemato, a 35-year-old from Springfield, N.J. told the New York Daily News, "You're hitting your stride. You're a lot more confident and you can attract younger guys."
Well, I guess since I haven't had sex at age 33 I wouldn't know. I have to admit that sex at age 31 is pretty snazzy. Then again sex at any age is pretty damn awesome and welcomed. I doubt that it's because you can attract younger partners because you're older. But that from the view down you can pick them off a lot easier due to you already having been there/done that sort of thing.

Either way, it seems pretty silly. Or maybe I'm just being defensive because I'm only turning 32 and not 33. 33 would be another year away before I could have all that awesome sex with younger guys.. wait.. what?!

Anyhow, since I didn't really do much of a Christmas list this past year on account that it completely was a vacuum of suck-a-tude, I guess it's not really known what I want for my birthday.

A Stetson Hat - What, they're cool. Okay. Besides being one of those things ultimate badass cowboy types wear in westerns, it the Doctor in BBC's Doctor Who wears one. Besides that, have you seen Justified? I mean, there's nothing cooler than Raylan Givens wearing one. Then again I'm pretty sure I would not be 1/100th as cool as Timothy Olyphant.

Money - Why the fuck not. I have been bleeding whatever little money I have had for the past few months to making ends meet. I could use some financial breathing space. Or perhaps a vacation. Who the fuck knows.

Know what, forget the money. Forget the Stetson - okay, maybe NOT the Stetson, those are cool. I really don't need much of anything. Most of all, I really don't value material shit anymore. I have way too much crap in boxes sitting here. I want life experiences. I want to travel some more. Get lost out there in the world and discover myself through other people's shoes. You really can't put that into a box and place a nice bow on it.

I mean, I have these personal projects that I need to complete and I really hope I complete them soon. I realize the place that I'm in right now, for 30 years before me, was a pipe dream of getting fixed up. Then I came in and took it upon myself and I fear that it'll be another 30 years of fixing it up. How sad would that be...

But I'm not going to let that happen. Time to move all this shit out of here and fix my life some, one step at a time. It may not be 33, but I'm sure as shit going to make sure 32 is a good year.

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